[ By GOD thank god Ben wasn't drinking anything because that would have been a FULL ON SPIT TAKE.
This is what happens if Ben Solo never becomes Kylo Ren. He becomes part of a comedy bit.
Han-- on the other hand-- just starts laughinghard. Like full on body laughing.
'No, but she might as well have been!'
Ben just looks at his father like MOM IS GONNA FUCKING KILL US BOTH. They are going to DIE because of that fucking golden Bikini.
'Really that's the best part of the story, kid. Luke and Leia really did save my dumb ass.'
Honestly the Truth. They could have left him to die, there was no logistical reason to save Han Solo, he'd prided himself on being a loner. A one man operation (with the help of Chewie of course) who wouldn't leave a trace on this galaxy but would have at least traveled it all. And yet they came for him anyway.
Ben is still looking mortified that the topic of the gold bikini even came up. He hasn't seen any imagery of it he's not sure what it looked like. He never wants to know what it looked like. Excuse you Rey, Han's just gonna reach across you and give Ben's shoulder a shove.
'Oh come on, Ben. You're mom was quite the looker.'
KILL HIM.
'Of course she's beautiful now, but man-- I still dream about that outfit.'
THIS IS WHY DISNEY REFUSES TO LET ANY MORE MERCHANDISE OF THAT OUTFIT BE PRODUCED. PERVERTS LIKE HAN SOLO.
I DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS.
This is what happens if Ben Solo never becomes Kylo Ren. He becomes part of a comedy bit.
Han-- on the other hand-- just starts laughing hard. Like full on body laughing.
'No, but she might as well have been!'
Ben just looks at his father like MOM IS GONNA FUCKING KILL US BOTH. They are going to DIE because of that fucking golden Bikini.
'Really that's the best part of the story, kid. Luke and Leia really did save my dumb ass.'
Honestly the Truth. They could have left him to die, there was no logistical reason to save Han Solo, he'd prided himself on being a loner. A one man operation (with the help of Chewie of course) who wouldn't leave a trace on this galaxy but would have at least traveled it all. And yet they came for him anyway.
Ben is still looking mortified that the topic of the gold bikini even came up. He hasn't seen any imagery of it he's not sure what it looked like. He never wants to know what it looked like. Excuse you Rey, Han's just gonna reach across you and give Ben's shoulder a shove.
'Oh come on, Ben. You're mom was quite the looker.'
KILL HIM.
'Of course she's beautiful now, but man-- I still dream about that outfit.'
THIS IS WHY DISNEY REFUSES TO LET ANY MORE MERCHANDISE OF THAT OUTFIT BE PRODUCED. PERVERTS LIKE HAN SOLO.
PLEASE KILL HIM REY. END BEN SOLOS MISERY. ]