Welcome one. Welcome all. I have brought all of you here today to say that YOU WERE LIED AND DECEIVED BY THE FORCES OF HOLLYWOOD AND UNCHECKED CAPITALISM. 'How?' You ask. And yes. I shall answer. It is simple:
The ending of the Rise of Skywalker was wrong
Wait. Excuse me. WHAT THE FUCK?
You read correctly, dear friends. Someone fucked with the editing of Rise of Skywalker and it changed the entire ending of the movie. It changed the characterization of three key characters and it's clear this was against the creator's wishes. I'll be breaking this down into a few key sections. What were the changes, Why I believe these changes were made (and made last minute), and do I consider this ending more or less canon then the theatrical ending. So. JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE FRIEND
The plot changes/editing change
It's fairly simple. They changed Leia's role in the plot, this changed the entire direction of the last few minutes of the movie. Let me break the timeline down
โ Deathstar fight on the ocean still happens, Ben is distracted by Leia reaching out to him. She either still enters her "disappointment son" coma here, or perhaps simply just reaches out to him.
โ From here, the plot continues as normal. Ben and Rey both get to the sith rave separately.
โ Rey Dies
โ Ben Revives her and dies.
โ Leia chooses THIS MOMENT to die and give her life to her son
โ Ben is revived. He and Rey kiss.
โ Move to conclusion
WHAT EVIDENCE DO I HAVE THESE CHANGES WERE MADE (and at the last moment)
Take in note, my evidence is circumstantial, but circumstantial evidence still counts as proof
โ Leia's final role in the movie is insanely unclear. She also takes 12 hours to actually die or something. Again. Confusing
โ Ben's final words, as of this moment, are "OW". Adam Driver said he was nervous about his final dialogue in the movie to the point he stressed about it on the flight over. And. Man. IDK about you but OW seems a little unstressful to say
โ There was no Force Ghost Ben, a decision that is baffling story wise. It would take any competent VFX team hardly any effort to throw a ghostly adam driver next to Leia and Luke. And this would be advantageous to add to the plot if Ben was going to die, give that final bit of closure to the Skywalker fam.
โ Rey's near LACK of emotion over his death. Go watch her realize she has to leave Ben behind in TLJ and tell me that the difference isn't noticeable. It's completely against her character.
โ The weird beats of Leia going into her disappointment son coma and the other strange beats of Ben's death. Especially the fact that you only see him disappear in like. one shot.
โ None of the cast thought he was going to die
โ Wow I wonder why Adam Driver is adamant about never wanting to do star wars at this point?
โ Wow, why does disney keep resetting the character poll of who is the most anticipated character of this movie????
โ The prophecy about Ben's death is completely unnecessary at this point. If it was brought up during TFA, it's understandable to put that thread there. Instead it's in the last movie when his death seems to be a foregone conclusion???
โ So Rey's fine for Luke and Leia even tho she's palpatines kid, but Luke and Leia don't seem all that bothered by Ben's death??????
โ This was supposed to be Leia's film and complete her arc. And while I understand that there was a lack of footage to use for her, it's odd that she ended up not playing much of a role beyond "Distract Ben so he gets stabbed ig"
โ Every single hole in characterization for Luke, Leia, and Rey, every strange beat that didn't really make sense in Ben and Rey's fight on the ocean and during their ??? Mutual deaths???? and the some how rushed and dragged on ending can be solved by a simple solution. Occam's razor, Ben was never meant to die permanently.
โ The fact that there was no final dialogue for Ben after his talk with his father suggests he had something significant to say after his resurrection
โ The fact that they didn't have a cut of Rey absolutely LOSING HER MIND over losing to, what amounts to, the other half of her soul suggests that she was never supposed to lose him permanently
โ The fact that there is no Ben Ghost means that they didn't have the time to slip that in before pushing it out to theaters
โ The way the final scenes with Rey are shot and edited are, again, weird, off balance. It seems like it ends WAY TOO QUICKLY and far too on the nose.
โ no but really guys. His final words are "OW"
โ As for WHO changed it, because of the fact that this is clearly an edit job done at the last minute? I'm putting my money on a CEO that is above Kathleen Kennedy and JJ Abrhrams. I think their hands are tied ATM. This is the ending that had been planned for, this is the ending they wanted, otherwise there would not be such big holes that felt weird and dishonest to the characters. And, like, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo was JJ's child, he wouldn't have done him dirty like this.\
THEATRICAL ENDING/TRUE ENDING
I'm sure opinions would be divided on which ending is canon depending on the person. The theatrical ending will be what's considered canon in the universe of star wars at large. For myself, I find it hard to deny the creators and filmmakers the right to present the story they wanted to tell. So, in that way, both endings are true for me. Though, I am biased-- both as someone who is an artist myself and someone who adores Kylo Ren's/Ben Solo's character-- I like the story the film team were trying to tell over the agenda that whoever pushed for these changes had. Personally, I believe it pushes Star Wars as a universe forward into new territory rather than keep it stagnant in the same old same old that it's always been. Plus. this maintains the integrity of Luke, Leia, and Rey's characters, Ben was never forgotten, far too gone, or unloved. Leia gave him one final gift, a second chance.
That said, I'm not pushing this ending on anyone. I won't be playing it by default. I would rather ask permission or have someone else bring it up.
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literaldumpsterfire2020-01-04 09:58 am
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I'm not sure. [ He'll answer that truthfully. His mother was still running from her father's legacy, Luke was off traipsing around the galaxy for fun facts about Jedi, and Han was trying to pretend he could be a reliable husband and father.
Palpatine's kid dropping Rey off at their doorstep... That coulda have gone several different ways, really. His mother had already been so conflicted over her own son... how quickly would they have pieced together Rey's lineage? Would they have decided that meant her fate was set in the stars already?
And if he closes his eyes to think, had he felt something shift when he was ten? The memories are so vague and distant. Rose colored nostalgia that threatens to drown him some days. ]
I think Luke would have taken an interest in you.
[ Especially Pre-Guilt-Beard Luke. Haven't Accidentally Created Darth Vader Essential Oil Luke. ]
I suppose it depends on the age.
[ He had a few short years after ten before it got bad. And just kept getting worse and worse and worse. ]
By the time you were left on Jakku, my father had already left.
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We wouldn't have been alone.
[It's all she can come up with, some kind of comforting thought that they can latch onto. She can still remember those early nights on Jakku, crying herself to sleep out of fear and missing her parents. She probably projects those thoughts to him, sorry ben.]
It doesn't matter now. We don't have to be alone ever again.
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I think... [ How does he even phrase this in a way that doesn't sound shitty and fatalistic. ] -- I was protecting you.
[ Or the force or their bond or whatever you want to call it.
The darkness found him first, after all. Dug it's claws into him and dragged him down--
All the while the heir to that legacy was born and tucked away in the dunes of a planet filled with junk. If Snoke had known... If Palpatine had known, how would everything had changed then. ]
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I think that you've always tried protecting me, on some level.
[While it's hard to see that all of his methods of attempting to
stalkfind and get her to go with him as protection, she understands the intent more now that they've been in each other's head. He does love her, and she knows it as certainly as anything else.]It's how I knew you would turn.
[Ahem. Not to get into that old argument again. But there is one thing she really wants to know.]
Do you regret it happening?
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He's lost. Well. Okay not lost. Not really. ]
No.
[ That's honest. He wouldn't have regretted his death either, it had been on his terms. His choice alone for the only other person who ever took a moment to understand him.
Oh also, excuse him. He's leaning in to kiss her. They haven't done that in a hot minute and he wants to take that liberty right now.
Ah-- that sound would be the engines kicking in. There's the tinny noise of Lando announcing their departure and the fact that they'll be kicking into hyperspeed soon. Ben is vaguely aware that this may be some passive aggressive way to get the Two Most Wanted people in this entire fucking war to show themselves. But this is his petulant child corner and he's staying here with Rey. ]
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[She retorts right before he kisses her, and smiles against his lips. She's definitely a fan of kissing him, and would prefer to keep it going. Who cares if the engines are kicking in and they're not in the best place to launch into hyperspace?
They've earned this tiny literal hole in the wall and should get to stay there until they're ready to come out.]
Regretting coming back to me isn't allowed either.
[Her palm presses more firmly against his cheek and she kisses him again, the angle awkward but she's able to work with it.]
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And he's really thinking of saying something smart-alleck-y when the hyperspeed kicks in and jerks them to the side. He's able to throw out his arms to the sides and steady him because he is approximately the size of this ship in Swoleness and he's not going to go rolling around like he did as a child.
This ship really isn't kid friendly. JFC. How did Ben even survive.
Lando's voice "whoop"s over the comm as he announces their next stop. A few hours away, but only a short pit stop before their "grand tour of the Galaxy". Whatever that's supposed to mean. ]
Are we allowed to regret being with Lando?
[ He's saying that as he shifts back into a more comfortable position and pulls her her to twist around and face him. Like. If this is gonna be the Petulant Make Out corner, might as well get comfy with it. ]
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[Rey laughs, unable to keep from grinning like an idiot. He'll be able to see it now that they're facing one another but she doesn't really care. It's good to smile and feel some happiness. Even if she's a little unsure sitting here's a great idea. She seems like she's ready to have to brace herself at any given second.]
I think I might have started to regret it the second I heard the words tour of the galaxy.
[Her hand seeks out his, and she presses her palm against his. Her fingers splay out to align against his, and she's reminded of the first time their hands touched while she was on Ahch-to. Her eyes close for a second as she simply basks in the sensation of actually being able to touch him like this, without worry of anyone walking in on them.
Except there is the real worry of Chewie hunting their asses down.]
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ROSE IS TELLING YOU TO LOOK AT THAT HAND. CHECK OUT IT'S SIZE. REY. Y'ALL NEED TO KNOW) before slotting his fingers betwen hers and pulling her forward so he can kiss her again. Look. He is gonna revel in this dumb teenage fantasy he never got to have of fooling around right under everyone's noses. Literally.And not the weird metaphorical spiritual mind fuck of doing it under Snoke's nose. (or lack of nose. WHATEVER).
Man. Maybe they'll actually get to make-out or touch one another get beyond first base and--
There's Chewbacca opening up the hatch and looking so unimpressed. He's dropping a blanket on the both of you because he doesn't know what he's about to walk in on. And now he's screeching about HEY the shower is open to those who have not waSHED DAY OLD BLOOD AND SWEAT AND TEARS AND GRIME OFF OF THEIR BODIES.
Just...
The worst.
With that, Chewie lumbers off to let them do what they will now that he has just officially fucked over the entire goddamn mood.
There will be a few solid seconds of trying to find their way out of this blanket trap Chewie has set upon them before they're able to toss the entire thing to the side. Ben is just looking. Miffed. And his hair is even more mussed. And sure. Yes. There is dried blood and he's just got Splotches of dirt all over. AND YES Maybe he's got a salty layer of dried sweat as though he was a lays potato chip. BUT WAS THAT CALL-OUT NECESSARY? ]
I think that was a hint.
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Life isn't fair.]
It was practically a demand.
[Chewie was a great furdad, making sure his kids were clean before they hid in a closet and made out. But he's not still standing there so Rey drops her hands from over her face and leans in to steal another kiss.]
You should go first.
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The kiss is easily accepted and he has to come to accept the fact that he must Unbend himself from this jigsaw puzzle. He has to crouch forward and get one arm up and pull himself straight and hey wow don't mind how you are gonna get pretty fuckin' close to his crotch as he pulls himself out Rey. Something you probably wouldn't have thought much of until Rose Mind In The Gutter Tico put the power of Dick Size in to your heart.
Once he's out he'll see if Rey wants an arm up
She just wants you to drop trough Ben....
This. Is when Lando is going to come by. Mostly because he's been the last one on this "actually cared about Ben Solo's Life" train to get to actually try and talk to the man himself.
'Mister Ben,' He enunciates it in such a sing-song tone that Ben can tell he's enjoying it and he hates it. 'It's good to see you on this side again.'
Rey. Rey get up here quickly. You're about to see Ben Solo get dragged into a hug unprepared. He's actually not sure what to do with this. Like. He has no lightsaber to stab anyone with. He doesn't hug people. Why isn't Lando angry? HE KILLED HIS BEST FRIE---enemy really. BUT STILL.
Rey help your husband be a normal human being what the fuck. ]
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[Rey smiles as she tries not to be formal. Calling him General all the time feels like something Leia would tell her to relax on. She's not oblivious to Ben's suffering but she isn't sure how to help him beyond trying to end this conversation as quickly as possible.]
Ben was going to shower, but I needed to speak with you.
[She doesn't say it's important but her tone implies that it very well could be. It's about Ben's safety and his plans for their grand galactic tour. She doubts he cares but it's a distraction and she's willing to take one for the team if it means her husband can go get clean.]
You have the time now, I hope?
[RUN NOW BEN. RUN!!]
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'For you? Always.'
But Lando sees ENTIRELY what you are doing Rey. He will release Ben from his non-consensual hug. And it is comical to see Ben sort of give Rey that Look that he's seen Han give Leia a thousand times and then scamper off (Really. Skulk off). He has to vaguely wonder if they are ever going to have hot water again.
'You've rescued the princess,' HE KNOWS REY. HE KNOWS. 'What do you want to discuss?'
I'll detail Ben taking a shower next tag i'm too lazy to rn ]
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Once she's satisfied with the answer he gives she makes her way to find Chewie. She needs to thank him for all that he's done, and winds up sniffing at herself when he makes mention that the hint about the shower wasn't just for Ben. It's when she realizes that she really must look terrible that she heads over toward the shower to see if Ben's done. Surely he must be. How long of a shower can a man take??]
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Jannah's gonna see Rey's trajectory and think about stopping her.
But whatever. Not her problem. She'll figure it out on her own. She is not Rey's mother.
So. All lights are green for go. We can excuse Rey for not hearing the rumble of the temp control unit or the running water over the sound of the Millennium Falcon flinging itself across space. And we can excuse her for not taking a few minutes to check and see if Ben has gone off to try and get changed somewhere private.
But anything that happens after she sees the wide pale expanse of his back, the shift of muscle under the skin as he's dipped his head directly under the stream to scrub at his hair, and the way the water just.... drips down and kinda accentuates everything. Anything after that moment is firmly her fault.
Like ig the real shame/good thing is that his back is towards the door so she can get a good eyeful of ass, but no peek at the Fabled Dick yet]no subject
But this is a new level of intimacy that feels awkward because she's just...staring and he's oblivious to it. She presses her back against the wall and tries to not look like she's been peeping at him.]
Ben? [She shouts out over the water.] You've been in long enough.
[Was that bossy? Rude? It's so hard to tell when she's trying to sound cool and aloof.]
fun fact. currently drawing half naked mans back so this tag is perf
He pulls one hand up and through his hair, clearing some of the strands out of his eyes. ]
I'm not done yet. [ He answers like the ten year old brat he really is. Which probably seems like a really perverse thing to compare him to as he turns his head to glance over his shoulder and it's just-- a lot of really good back covered in really good water, with really good really wet hair. Just a lot of good things to have ] You're free to join me if you wish.
[ That is a triple dog dare in every language. ]