the human embodiment of the arthur meme (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
vaderstan) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
literaldumpsterfire2020-03-21 08:36 pm
vaderstan) wrote in literaldumpsterfire2020-03-21 08:36 pm
vaderstan) wrote in literaldumpsterfire2020-03-21 08:36 pm
no i’m @ing everyone in this bar especially these two dumb idiots we’re playing
WE OBJECT REY DID NOT HAVE THE FIRST BONER WE HAVE RECEIPTS
He’s such a clueless dumbass. She definitely, after much inner turmoil struggling to come to grips with her questionable taste, had to corner and pin him before it got through his dense head how much she did want him. Just him. Like. It was really hard out here on the conscience wanting to bone the Supreme Leader tbh, he was all evil and offering you the galaxy and maybe some nice black dresses to coordinate with his outfits.
Anyways.
She scoffs and finally moves her arms from where they’ve been limp at her sides to clip the hydrospanner onto the utility belt slung around her hips. Looks like he’s not getting stabbed after all. There’s some grease and dirt smudged over her arms and palms; she brushes them against her clothing like the uncivilized garbage child she is, but he should be used to that by now. ]
I didn’t hear you complaining at the time! [ Is she really indignant? Just a little since she’s still shocked and upset he sent Threepio to scar her. ]
I'm just trying to survive this pandemic as an ADHD artist anD I DONT NEED THIS BUUUULLLSHIT.
Basically yes maybe he had the boner first but it was the Force's fault and the fact that Rey opened the gate way for Double Boners made her Boner more suspect.
I REST MY CASE YOUR HONOR.
Also Kylo is Definitely Painstakingly handwashing all of her grease covered clothes, partially because he is trusted with little else right now. How weird.
Wait shit.
Does our weird timeline now mean hux is alive to kill? ]
Because you covered my mouth with yours.
[ Cue some random Resistance goer hearing that and just this.
He'll take this moment to find her hand and curl his fingers around her palm and delicately tug her around to face him. ]
He couldn't have been that bad.
[ ....Unless Threepio actually went into a long tangent about Ben's name's origin. Or Ewoks. Or the final battle. Or a entire dramatic recreation of the Final Battle. Or just the entire life span he has had going back to the start. ]
your appeal to hr has been processed and unfortunately declined also your gif link doesn’t work :(
Also who just crouches in front of their hostage staring at them for God only knows how long while they nap jfc Kylo your crush is showing
We are NOT gonna talk about Rey’s weird boner when he took off his helmet. She refuses to indulge this.
And Hux is probably the supreme leader in this au idfk don’t ask me
The expression on her face when he turns her around is very hmph, a little affronted at the remote insinuation that he didn’t enjoy that first kiss. Did she actually pin him to the ground when they were fighting and kiss him? The jury is out. ]
I believe I have every right to assign you in the porg house right now. You try being harassed by Threepio for a half hour straight and came out of it unscathed.
[ Clearly banter since she gravitates closer, settling her hands on his chest and tilting her head up at him, a softness on her face that very few are privy to. She’s still getting used to... this. The niceness of it. How casual it’s so quickly become.
FYI I’m definitely crying that he’s hand washing her clothes? He’s her house husband!! ]
IM TAKING THIS TO THE CEO
definitely Poe after he talked some SHITand she just got Wired on sweaty Kylo Ren.Also the Falcon has never been cleaner. He's scrubbed the inside of it to work out his massive feelings of pent up rage and unending worthlessness. ]
I did grow up with Threepio.
[ Now we know the true reasons Ben Solo turned.
Speaking of embarrassing family members. Chewbacca is going to howl at them from across the hanger because they are being embarrassing and gross and get back inside. ]
SURPRISE BITCH I AM THE CEO
Plot twist maybe Rey stabbed him then brought him to the Resistance’s med bay demanding he receive care and everyone except Leia was like why tho let the fucker die while Rey gestured around threateningly with her lightsaber
Cos she would for this bitch
He’s her bitch, after all!
Rey would appreciate the shining interior of the Falcon more if she wasn’t a sand goblin who tracks dirt and sand everywhere. They need a robot vacuum. ]
That... explains a lot.
[ How much? Wait, Chewie is screaming at them. This has legit been Chewie ever since Leia entered the game and now with these kids. Rey actually ducks her head and blushes because he might have no problem with PDA but coming from a trash planet like Jakku where she had zero physical touch almost her entire life, she’s actually a little more inhibited and overly aware of their proximity in front of others.
She pulls on his hand in the direction of the ramp he probably wandered down from a few minutes ago. ] Back to your cell, inmate.
WOWOWO TAKING THIS TO THE SUPREME LEADER THAN
Lmao What if Rey had even already healed him and he was just "LOOK I'M FINE NOW" 'NO YOURE NOT YOU DICK WAD" and that's how Kylo Ren got captured into the Resistance Ig. i'm aggressively confused as to how this even went down.
Oh and he's following her. Easily. Like. Oh no. I'm captured. How awful. The worst. Look at how he's being just Draaaaaaaaaaagged away. Aka he is her bitch through and through.
And in all honesty, he likes to keep their private life private. It didn't entirely look Great when he cornered her like this, he's aware of that. But it is fun to make her squirm from time to time. .... And Chewbacca and Leia (Probably sending chewbacca) have both tried to MITIGATE THAT ISSUE BY GETTING THEM TO GO BACK TO THEIR ROOM JFC.
Okay but seriously, how long did it take Rey to make a move and how fast did people know before that point that they were an Item? ]
We may want to hurry.
[ A soft request because if she follows his line of sight she'll see Threepio toddling towards them far too rapidly for anyone's liking. He's a goddamn horror movie monster at this point yelling "YOUNG MASTER SOLO AND REY! HOW GOOD TO SEE YOU BOTH!!!" ]
icon is my face at u and rey's @ c3po
She probably smooched him like .5 seconds after he was okay because these bitches don't know how to be chill ever. She was just like ~let's get reylo~ these really are things we should probably discuss on discord but noo, we just talked about?? everything else??
Also we could nerf the healing power thingy so she could only heal him so much and he actually needed medical emergency and she was freAKING OUT. This tag is mostly plotting now my b
Rey is just gonna. Hasten her steps when he directs her attention to Threepio. Because Kriff no that is not happening, she has plans and those plans involve riding her formerly dark-sided force husband's face, not getting accosted by a droid. She's traumatized.
They're up the ramp in what may be record time and Rey closes it firmly to the outcry of said droid before she affords herself a breath of relief. ]
You know, [ she cants her head at him with a hint of a smirk. ] I still haven't holosearched the ewoks.