Welcome one. Welcome all. I have brought all of you here today to say that YOU WERE LIED AND DECEIVED BY THE FORCES OF HOLLYWOOD AND UNCHECKED CAPITALISM. 'How?' You ask. And yes. I shall answer. It is simple:
The ending of the Rise of Skywalker was wrong
Wait. Excuse me. WHAT THE FUCK?
You read correctly, dear friends. Someone fucked with the editing of Rise of Skywalker and it changed the entire ending of the movie. It changed the characterization of three key characters and it's clear this was against the creator's wishes. I'll be breaking this down into a few key sections. What were the changes, Why I believe these changes were made (and made last minute), and do I consider this ending more or less canon then the theatrical ending. So. JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE FRIEND
The plot changes/editing change
It's fairly simple. They changed Leia's role in the plot, this changed the entire direction of the last few minutes of the movie. Let me break the timeline down
โ Deathstar fight on the ocean still happens, Ben is distracted by Leia reaching out to him. She either still enters her "disappointment son" coma here, or perhaps simply just reaches out to him.
โ From here, the plot continues as normal. Ben and Rey both get to the sith rave separately.
โ Rey Dies
โ Ben Revives her and dies.
โ Leia chooses THIS MOMENT to die and give her life to her son
โ Ben is revived. He and Rey kiss.
โ Move to conclusion
WHAT EVIDENCE DO I HAVE THESE CHANGES WERE MADE (and at the last moment)
Take in note, my evidence is circumstantial, but circumstantial evidence still counts as proof
โ Leia's final role in the movie is insanely unclear. She also takes 12 hours to actually die or something. Again. Confusing
โ Ben's final words, as of this moment, are "OW". Adam Driver said he was nervous about his final dialogue in the movie to the point he stressed about it on the flight over. And. Man. IDK about you but OW seems a little unstressful to say
โ There was no Force Ghost Ben, a decision that is baffling story wise. It would take any competent VFX team hardly any effort to throw a ghostly adam driver next to Leia and Luke. And this would be advantageous to add to the plot if Ben was going to die, give that final bit of closure to the Skywalker fam.
โ Rey's near LACK of emotion over his death. Go watch her realize she has to leave Ben behind in TLJ and tell me that the difference isn't noticeable. It's completely against her character.
โ The weird beats of Leia going into her disappointment son coma and the other strange beats of Ben's death. Especially the fact that you only see him disappear in like. one shot.
โ None of the cast thought he was going to die
โ Wow I wonder why Adam Driver is adamant about never wanting to do star wars at this point?
โ Wow, why does disney keep resetting the character poll of who is the most anticipated character of this movie????
โ The prophecy about Ben's death is completely unnecessary at this point. If it was brought up during TFA, it's understandable to put that thread there. Instead it's in the last movie when his death seems to be a foregone conclusion???
โ So Rey's fine for Luke and Leia even tho she's palpatines kid, but Luke and Leia don't seem all that bothered by Ben's death??????
โ This was supposed to be Leia's film and complete her arc. And while I understand that there was a lack of footage to use for her, it's odd that she ended up not playing much of a role beyond "Distract Ben so he gets stabbed ig"
โ Every single hole in characterization for Luke, Leia, and Rey, every strange beat that didn't really make sense in Ben and Rey's fight on the ocean and during their ??? Mutual deaths???? and the some how rushed and dragged on ending can be solved by a simple solution. Occam's razor, Ben was never meant to die permanently.
โ The fact that there was no final dialogue for Ben after his talk with his father suggests he had something significant to say after his resurrection
โ The fact that they didn't have a cut of Rey absolutely LOSING HER MIND over losing to, what amounts to, the other half of her soul suggests that she was never supposed to lose him permanently
โ The fact that there is no Ben Ghost means that they didn't have the time to slip that in before pushing it out to theaters
โ The way the final scenes with Rey are shot and edited are, again, weird, off balance. It seems like it ends WAY TOO QUICKLY and far too on the nose.
โ no but really guys. His final words are "OW"
โ As for WHO changed it, because of the fact that this is clearly an edit job done at the last minute? I'm putting my money on a CEO that is above Kathleen Kennedy and JJ Abrhrams. I think their hands are tied ATM. This is the ending that had been planned for, this is the ending they wanted, otherwise there would not be such big holes that felt weird and dishonest to the characters. And, like, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo was JJ's child, he wouldn't have done him dirty like this.\
THEATRICAL ENDING/TRUE ENDING
I'm sure opinions would be divided on which ending is canon depending on the person. The theatrical ending will be what's considered canon in the universe of star wars at large. For myself, I find it hard to deny the creators and filmmakers the right to present the story they wanted to tell. So, in that way, both endings are true for me. Though, I am biased-- both as someone who is an artist myself and someone who adores Kylo Ren's/Ben Solo's character-- I like the story the film team were trying to tell over the agenda that whoever pushed for these changes had. Personally, I believe it pushes Star Wars as a universe forward into new territory rather than keep it stagnant in the same old same old that it's always been. Plus. this maintains the integrity of Luke, Leia, and Rey's characters, Ben was never forgotten, far too gone, or unloved. Leia gave him one final gift, a second chance.
That said, I'm not pushing this ending on anyone. I won't be playing it by default. I would rather ask permission or have someone else bring it up.
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literaldumpsterfire2020-01-04 09:58 am
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'--No,' Did Rose just say that a bit too quickly? Maybe. But it's more out of concern in that she may have talked Rey out of this??? oh lord. 'No, just don't be afraid to take it slow if it's uncomfortable or hurts.'
That's just an awful place to leave off at okay??? Even Rose is feeling bad.
'It's.. a lot of fun and really--' Ugh now Rose is blushing, they're in this boat together,'--You just feel connected. If he cares enough, you probably won't have to worry about that.'
Actually that brings up the question of if Ben Solo is a virgin? Rose, at first, was like "yeah right" but now she's gotta kinda wonder.
Okay but. She's gonna release you from this hell, Rey. Mostly because she can hear the boys outside getting closer as they have mostly finished unloading everything they need to.
'If he doesn't treat you well or if you have any questions-- I'll help as much as I can, okay?'
Seriously. She will fly several systems out of her way to taze the SHIT out of a former supreme leader if he doesn't act right. ]
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Wait.
Rose was definitely blushing a minute ago. Of course Rose knows all this from experience.]
Are you and Finn...?
[It's the obvious question here, and rey is desperate to turn the tables.]
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'It's a bit more than that--' Rey, your friends are kinky fucks who cannot shame you on anything you get off on, WHY DO YOU THINK SHE KNOWS ABOUT BUTT STUFF REY. '--We've all sort of... worked out an agreement.'
REY. WHY DO YOU THINK THEY ALWAYS BUNKED TOGETHER REY. BECAUSE Y'ALL WERE IN THE SAME CLIQUE. oh MyGOD. ]
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[Rey repeats, eyebrow arching. It takes her about two seconds to put together the bunking situation and realize there's one other piece of the puzzle.Involves Poe, Finn, and butt stuff. Cool.
It makes sense. They're all always together. Bunking together. Working together. Everyone else probably already knows this, Rey's just now catching up. And she looks impressed with you, Rose. you go, Tico.]
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'They're both being bantha-breathed laser brains about this,' She says with authority through the red-faced admittance. 'But I'm on your side.'
Like. Hey. If she can get two dicks. You should be allowed a little dark side dicking, okay?
'I'll keep in touch, okay?' Which... is actually kind of a sweet offering. Her and Rey had never really had much alone time together with out the other two and... Honestly? She wants to try and change that. ]
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One tight hug later, Rey is making her way back to Ben with droids in tow. They've been casually following her for a while, with R2 now in the mix. She knows she can't bring BB-8 with them, and takes time to crouch and say goodbye.
She feels ready to head out at that point, and goes to get Ben. She finds him sitting on the edge of her small bed and motions with a nod of her head for him to come with her. She very pointedly stares at his crotch as he gets up. Thanks Rose. As if he can read her mind, R2 beeps and whirs in approval.]
They're finishing emptying the Falcon of supplies, then we're free to go.
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But really, she's got a droid army following her and he's a little confused about it. He'll hear tales of Rey fixing broken things where ever she goes and it'll all make more sense then, but for now he pushes up to his full height and ducks through the door way. ]
After you.
[ Artoo chirps at him aggressively and-- huh. He realizes at this point how strange it is. Artoo is currently the only other being that had been there the night he turned. The droid doesn't seem to angry with him, rather he greets him and chatters. Ben vaguely realizes this is probably to distract him from the small audience that appears to be gathering (
My god why is that hobbit over there so disapproving tho).Chewie passes by them with just a ton of shit in his arms and there's a girl he doesn't recognize climbing into the Falcon.
Okay, rather, he recognizes her vaguely from when he and Rey were working out some issues on the ocean, but even dipping into Rey's mind reveals this this girl is New.
There's a loud clap on his back as Lando passes, 'Good to see you not lookin' like shit, Mr. Ben.'
Oh my god, Kill him. He's really thinking this can't get much worse until Finn and Poe pass by and it's just a recreation of this scene.
Save him.
Especially as he boards the ship and Chewbacca is sorting out sleeping arrangements and it's... It's just not gonna be great or private any time soon. Crew's quarters, captain's quarters, and sleepover in the main hold pretty much. They'll have to discuss it on the fly. And then Chewbacca has to just Screech at ben about not using up all the hot water on his first shower. Which just pisses Ben off because that...
is exactly what he wanted to do. >:( ]
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R2 and D-O go with her to finish any necessary repairs, as she leaves Ben to either help Lando or Chewie. She watches BB-8 roll out of the ship to find Poe and feels the need to keep her hands busy so she doesn't feel sad. Thankfully, C-3PO in all his complaining glory makes his way on board and lets everyone know that Master Poe thought it would be best if he came on board to be with his family.
Great. That's...fine. Really. Rey never gets sick of hearing him bitch.
By the time they're basically ready to take off, Rey's heading through the ship with D-O at her heels. He rolls ahead when Ben's spotted, and bumps right into him a couple of times before rolling off to the side and back over to her. Rey laughs as she approaches. Droids are so precious.]
We won't be needed for a while. I think we might be able to slip away.
[To shower!! And discuss a plan of action. Obviously.]
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Chewbacca points at some stuff stacked in a corner and mentions it's for him. It's not a very big stack at this point. It's like. A comm unit, a blaster, some basic hygiene supplies. They'll have to go out and find new clothes for him at a pit stop. Fine. Whatever. He'll deal. He's looking around and trying to re-orient himself in this space when Rey catches his attention. ]
Slip away where?
[ God there's too many people on this ship and it is hell for his introvert ways. ]
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You used to know this ship better than anyone.
[She's making assumptions here. Surely his father had him on board while he was growing up.]
Where did you go hide away when you were younger?
[He's a lot taller and bulkier now but surely he'll still be able to find somewhere that makes him feel at ease. Because here comes Threepio calling out 'Master Solo!' He's stalking you, Ben. ]
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Yup. Going down the hall until they reach.... Maintenance hatch... Rather. One of them. This is the one that was used the least. Also the one where Han Solo kept losing his kid and would panic for about an hour straight until either Chewbacca or Leia found him fast asleep(Rey is free to hear/feel/see that memory. He isn't attempting to hide it). Just in time too, threepio is ON THEIR TAIL. Pulling that sucker open and then... Jesus this was a lot roomier when he was like. Ten. But he slides in first and reaches for Rey. It's his bulk they need to work around. He'll get the thing closed just in time to hear Threepio hobble by and wonder where he went. HE HAS SO MUCH TO CATCH UP ON. ]
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Everything is about to change.
There's no better way to celebrate that than cramming in a small hatch with Ben to hide away for awhile.
Once the threat of nanny-droid has passed, Rey's hand drops away and she finds herself smiling.]
I can't believe there used to be room in here for you to fall asleep.
[Meaning: you've gotten huge, Ben. Real swol.]
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He'll hold out his hands and tug her to him scooting her around until he can pull her back flush with his front. Try not to think about his dick Rey. DONT READ THESE BRACKETS REY. ]
Surprisingly I wasn't born fully grown.
[ Leia thanks the stars for that. JFC.
A quiet moment as he contemplates their position before wrapping his arms around her shoulder to facilitate this hole. Thing.
Hm. Feels weird to try and add a label on to it. Like... wait no seriously. They haven't really had much time to just sit around and not have to worry about being murdered by a sith lord or being murdered by her friends.
Odd and new. ]
My father managed to jump into hyperspace once or twice while I was hiding.
[ -- you can imagine the screeching over the comm from Leia once she figured out what had happened. ]
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I hid from Unkar Plutt all the time when I was younger. I always thought he'd try to find me.
[Spoiler: he never did, and she would spend hours hiding in ship wreckage and ruins because she was eight and still would try playing games. She grew out of that, thankfully.
There's a short stretch of quiet after that, and she leans back to press against him a little more. He's comfortable.]
Have you ever questioned how things would have gone differently if we had met as children?
[Except he's like 10 years older than her so they wouldn't really have been kids at the same time but details.]
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I'm not sure. [ He'll answer that truthfully. His mother was still running from her father's legacy, Luke was off traipsing around the galaxy for fun facts about Jedi, and Han was trying to pretend he could be a reliable husband and father.
Palpatine's kid dropping Rey off at their doorstep... That coulda have gone several different ways, really. His mother had already been so conflicted over her own son... how quickly would they have pieced together Rey's lineage? Would they have decided that meant her fate was set in the stars already?
And if he closes his eyes to think, had he felt something shift when he was ten? The memories are so vague and distant. Rose colored nostalgia that threatens to drown him some days. ]
I think Luke would have taken an interest in you.
[ Especially Pre-Guilt-Beard Luke. Haven't Accidentally Created Darth Vader Essential Oil Luke. ]
I suppose it depends on the age.
[ He had a few short years after ten before it got bad. And just kept getting worse and worse and worse. ]
By the time you were left on Jakku, my father had already left.
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We wouldn't have been alone.
[It's all she can come up with, some kind of comforting thought that they can latch onto. She can still remember those early nights on Jakku, crying herself to sleep out of fear and missing her parents. She probably projects those thoughts to him, sorry ben.]
It doesn't matter now. We don't have to be alone ever again.
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I think... [ How does he even phrase this in a way that doesn't sound shitty and fatalistic. ] -- I was protecting you.
[ Or the force or their bond or whatever you want to call it.
The darkness found him first, after all. Dug it's claws into him and dragged him down--
All the while the heir to that legacy was born and tucked away in the dunes of a planet filled with junk. If Snoke had known... If Palpatine had known, how would everything had changed then. ]
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I think that you've always tried protecting me, on some level.
[While it's hard to see that all of his methods of attempting to
stalkfind and get her to go with him as protection, she understands the intent more now that they've been in each other's head. He does love her, and she knows it as certainly as anything else.]It's how I knew you would turn.
[Ahem. Not to get into that old argument again. But there is one thing she really wants to know.]
Do you regret it happening?
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He's lost. Well. Okay not lost. Not really. ]
No.
[ That's honest. He wouldn't have regretted his death either, it had been on his terms. His choice alone for the only other person who ever took a moment to understand him.
Oh also, excuse him. He's leaning in to kiss her. They haven't done that in a hot minute and he wants to take that liberty right now.
Ah-- that sound would be the engines kicking in. There's the tinny noise of Lando announcing their departure and the fact that they'll be kicking into hyperspeed soon. Ben is vaguely aware that this may be some passive aggressive way to get the Two Most Wanted people in this entire fucking war to show themselves. But this is his petulant child corner and he's staying here with Rey. ]
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[She retorts right before he kisses her, and smiles against his lips. She's definitely a fan of kissing him, and would prefer to keep it going. Who cares if the engines are kicking in and they're not in the best place to launch into hyperspace?
They've earned this tiny literal hole in the wall and should get to stay there until they're ready to come out.]
Regretting coming back to me isn't allowed either.
[Her palm presses more firmly against his cheek and she kisses him again, the angle awkward but she's able to work with it.]
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And he's really thinking of saying something smart-alleck-y when the hyperspeed kicks in and jerks them to the side. He's able to throw out his arms to the sides and steady him because he is approximately the size of this ship in Swoleness and he's not going to go rolling around like he did as a child.
This ship really isn't kid friendly. JFC. How did Ben even survive.
Lando's voice "whoop"s over the comm as he announces their next stop. A few hours away, but only a short pit stop before their "grand tour of the Galaxy". Whatever that's supposed to mean. ]
Are we allowed to regret being with Lando?
[ He's saying that as he shifts back into a more comfortable position and pulls her her to twist around and face him. Like. If this is gonna be the Petulant Make Out corner, might as well get comfy with it. ]
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[Rey laughs, unable to keep from grinning like an idiot. He'll be able to see it now that they're facing one another but she doesn't really care. It's good to smile and feel some happiness. Even if she's a little unsure sitting here's a great idea. She seems like she's ready to have to brace herself at any given second.]
I think I might have started to regret it the second I heard the words tour of the galaxy.
[Her hand seeks out his, and she presses her palm against his. Her fingers splay out to align against his, and she's reminded of the first time their hands touched while she was on Ahch-to. Her eyes close for a second as she simply basks in the sensation of actually being able to touch him like this, without worry of anyone walking in on them.
Except there is the real worry of Chewie hunting their asses down.]
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ROSE IS TELLING YOU TO LOOK AT THAT HAND. CHECK OUT IT'S SIZE. REY. Y'ALL NEED TO KNOW) before slotting his fingers betwen hers and pulling her forward so he can kiss her again. Look. He is gonna revel in this dumb teenage fantasy he never got to have of fooling around right under everyone's noses. Literally.And not the weird metaphorical spiritual mind fuck of doing it under Snoke's nose. (or lack of nose. WHATEVER).
Man. Maybe they'll actually get to make-out or touch one another get beyond first base and--
There's Chewbacca opening up the hatch and looking so unimpressed. He's dropping a blanket on the both of you because he doesn't know what he's about to walk in on. And now he's screeching about HEY the shower is open to those who have not waSHED DAY OLD BLOOD AND SWEAT AND TEARS AND GRIME OFF OF THEIR BODIES.
Just...
The worst.
With that, Chewie lumbers off to let them do what they will now that he has just officially fucked over the entire goddamn mood.
There will be a few solid seconds of trying to find their way out of this blanket trap Chewie has set upon them before they're able to toss the entire thing to the side. Ben is just looking. Miffed. And his hair is even more mussed. And sure. Yes. There is dried blood and he's just got Splotches of dirt all over. AND YES Maybe he's got a salty layer of dried sweat as though he was a lays potato chip. BUT WAS THAT CALL-OUT NECESSARY? ]
I think that was a hint.
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Life isn't fair.]
It was practically a demand.
[Chewie was a great furdad, making sure his kids were clean before they hid in a closet and made out. But he's not still standing there so Rey drops her hands from over her face and leans in to steal another kiss.]
You should go first.
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The kiss is easily accepted and he has to come to accept the fact that he must Unbend himself from this jigsaw puzzle. He has to crouch forward and get one arm up and pull himself straight and hey wow don't mind how you are gonna get pretty fuckin' close to his crotch as he pulls himself out Rey. Something you probably wouldn't have thought much of until Rose Mind In The Gutter Tico put the power of Dick Size in to your heart.
Once he's out he'll see if Rey wants an arm up
She just wants you to drop trough Ben....
This. Is when Lando is going to come by. Mostly because he's been the last one on this "actually cared about Ben Solo's Life" train to get to actually try and talk to the man himself.
'Mister Ben,' He enunciates it in such a sing-song tone that Ben can tell he's enjoying it and he hates it. 'It's good to see you on this side again.'
Rey. Rey get up here quickly. You're about to see Ben Solo get dragged into a hug unprepared. He's actually not sure what to do with this. Like. He has no lightsaber to stab anyone with. He doesn't hug people. Why isn't Lando angry? HE KILLED HIS BEST FRIE---enemy really. BUT STILL.
Rey help your husband be a normal human being what the fuck. ]
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fun fact. currently drawing half naked mans back so this tag is perf