Welcome one. Welcome all. I have brought all of you here today to say that YOU WERE LIED AND DECEIVED BY THE FORCES OF HOLLYWOOD AND UNCHECKED CAPITALISM. 'How?' You ask. And yes. I shall answer. It is simple:
The ending of the Rise of Skywalker was wrong
Wait. Excuse me. WHAT THE FUCK?
You read correctly, dear friends. Someone fucked with the editing of Rise of Skywalker and it changed the entire ending of the movie. It changed the characterization of three key characters and it's clear this was against the creator's wishes. I'll be breaking this down into a few key sections. What were the changes, Why I believe these changes were made (and made last minute), and do I consider this ending more or less canon then the theatrical ending. So. JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE FRIEND
The plot changes/editing change
It's fairly simple. They changed Leia's role in the plot, this changed the entire direction of the last few minutes of the movie. Let me break the timeline down
โ Deathstar fight on the ocean still happens, Ben is distracted by Leia reaching out to him. She either still enters her "disappointment son" coma here, or perhaps simply just reaches out to him.
โ From here, the plot continues as normal. Ben and Rey both get to the sith rave separately.
โ Rey Dies
โ Ben Revives her and dies.
โ Leia chooses THIS MOMENT to die and give her life to her son
โ Ben is revived. He and Rey kiss.
โ Move to conclusion
WHAT EVIDENCE DO I HAVE THESE CHANGES WERE MADE (and at the last moment)
Take in note, my evidence is circumstantial, but circumstantial evidence still counts as proof
โ Leia's final role in the movie is insanely unclear. She also takes 12 hours to actually die or something. Again. Confusing
โ Ben's final words, as of this moment, are "OW". Adam Driver said he was nervous about his final dialogue in the movie to the point he stressed about it on the flight over. And. Man. IDK about you but OW seems a little unstressful to say
โ There was no Force Ghost Ben, a decision that is baffling story wise. It would take any competent VFX team hardly any effort to throw a ghostly adam driver next to Leia and Luke. And this would be advantageous to add to the plot if Ben was going to die, give that final bit of closure to the Skywalker fam.
โ Rey's near LACK of emotion over his death. Go watch her realize she has to leave Ben behind in TLJ and tell me that the difference isn't noticeable. It's completely against her character.
โ The weird beats of Leia going into her disappointment son coma and the other strange beats of Ben's death. Especially the fact that you only see him disappear in like. one shot.
โ None of the cast thought he was going to die
โ Wow I wonder why Adam Driver is adamant about never wanting to do star wars at this point?
โ Wow, why does disney keep resetting the character poll of who is the most anticipated character of this movie????
โ The prophecy about Ben's death is completely unnecessary at this point. If it was brought up during TFA, it's understandable to put that thread there. Instead it's in the last movie when his death seems to be a foregone conclusion???
โ So Rey's fine for Luke and Leia even tho she's palpatines kid, but Luke and Leia don't seem all that bothered by Ben's death??????
โ This was supposed to be Leia's film and complete her arc. And while I understand that there was a lack of footage to use for her, it's odd that she ended up not playing much of a role beyond "Distract Ben so he gets stabbed ig"
โ Every single hole in characterization for Luke, Leia, and Rey, every strange beat that didn't really make sense in Ben and Rey's fight on the ocean and during their ??? Mutual deaths???? and the some how rushed and dragged on ending can be solved by a simple solution. Occam's razor, Ben was never meant to die permanently.
โ The fact that there was no final dialogue for Ben after his talk with his father suggests he had something significant to say after his resurrection
โ The fact that they didn't have a cut of Rey absolutely LOSING HER MIND over losing to, what amounts to, the other half of her soul suggests that she was never supposed to lose him permanently
โ The fact that there is no Ben Ghost means that they didn't have the time to slip that in before pushing it out to theaters
โ The way the final scenes with Rey are shot and edited are, again, weird, off balance. It seems like it ends WAY TOO QUICKLY and far too on the nose.
โ no but really guys. His final words are "OW"
โ As for WHO changed it, because of the fact that this is clearly an edit job done at the last minute? I'm putting my money on a CEO that is above Kathleen Kennedy and JJ Abrhrams. I think their hands are tied ATM. This is the ending that had been planned for, this is the ending they wanted, otherwise there would not be such big holes that felt weird and dishonest to the characters. And, like, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo was JJ's child, he wouldn't have done him dirty like this.\
THEATRICAL ENDING/TRUE ENDING
I'm sure opinions would be divided on which ending is canon depending on the person. The theatrical ending will be what's considered canon in the universe of star wars at large. For myself, I find it hard to deny the creators and filmmakers the right to present the story they wanted to tell. So, in that way, both endings are true for me. Though, I am biased-- both as someone who is an artist myself and someone who adores Kylo Ren's/Ben Solo's character-- I like the story the film team were trying to tell over the agenda that whoever pushed for these changes had. Personally, I believe it pushes Star Wars as a universe forward into new territory rather than keep it stagnant in the same old same old that it's always been. Plus. this maintains the integrity of Luke, Leia, and Rey's characters, Ben was never forgotten, far too gone, or unloved. Leia gave him one final gift, a second chance.
That said, I'm not pushing this ending on anyone. I won't be playing it by default. I would rather ask permission or have someone else bring it up.
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literaldumpsterfire2020-01-04 09:58 am
off-topic but not rly: I'm listening to Frozen 2 and specific songs are a big mood here.
And also 3. she doesn't actually want to answer that question. Which she can't while she's chewing.]
[Eventually; not really looking at him.]
They know I'm alive. We're not on the same planet rotation anyway, so...
[She's not regularly midnight-texting anyone, is what she's saying. She hasn't known what to say to their questions about what she's doing, when she's coming back, and most often how she is. How hasn't mattered.
She's been living. Just trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
And do the next right thing.It's been enough.]no subject
Also he's still eating, his appetite just isn't really great right now considering he went from SUPER STRESSED OUT to DEAD to Maybe??? Things will be okay???? It's gonna take a few days to adjust. And he's about to hit the wall he normally hits right before he generally just found a pack of stims and kept going. ]
I can call them up and explain if you'd like.
[ There it is. Another one of his awful jokes. Surely it's not going to get any worse ]
Or we could send a holo of us kissing.
[ That would clear up a lot of questions Real Quick.
And create ten thousand moreAlso. Wow. It's kind of weird to acknowledge the kissing out loud???? What ever.
He's finished off another small stack of bread/cheese/meat and he's gonna reach for a fruit now. ]
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She doesn't know how she's going to tell her friends. Anything. She's not sure who's going to take the current state of matters worse: Poe, who'd been tortured by this guy, or Finn, who'd almost been sliced in half by him.
If she were a worse person she'd just will them to understand while she explained and then fuck off to the outermost of the Outer Rim worlds with Ben and never be seen again. That's definitely still an option if the Prince Ben Solo thing doesn't work out.]
If you've got any suggestions that don't get us both murdered I'm open to hearing them.
[Fat chance, Rey. I mean. Look at his plans up to this point.
But oh, he's eating that fruit now. Rey's just gonna. Be entranced. IDK why this is her kink, but it's probably just because she likes staring at his mouth and imagining it a whole bunch of other places.
She's honestly not sure if he's aware of what he looks like... basically all of the time, though she suspects he kinda does given how often he chose to appear before her without the mask after that first time. It's pretty ridiculously unfair tbh. Stop being able to tell just how hard Rey wants to jump your bones, Ben. God.]
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He is being fairly neat about eating that fruit tho. Not nearly making the mess Rey was. But there is a slight deep purple drop right at the corner of his mouth. He hasn't noticed it. ]
I could take off my shirt.
[ Kill him. ]
Explain what you can. [ He's moving on to serious advice because he is afraid Rey will actually choke him if he keeps this up
He may be into it tho] And don't hide whatever you feel.[ Another bite of fruit and the drop at the corner of his mouth is growing larger. Taunting her. ]
If they don't know anything about this, they'll need your truth more than anything else.
[ And that's some suspiciously good advice, but he's talking from the experience of haVING EVERYTHING ABOUT DARTH VADER BEING HIS GRANDFATHER HIDDEN FROM HIM UNTIL HE WAS 23 ]
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Honestly she doesn't need her to kill him; he's gonna get killed the minute he deadpans one of these remarks to literally anyone who isn't currently on this ship.
That aside, she's not sure his advice is, well, advisable. Even if it's right.]
"I think the truth of what I feel is the thing they're going to struggle with the most."
['Hey guys, I'm in love with Kylo Ren, I bet you all could guess by the number of times we've almost killed each other; anyway I'm just here to say that if anyone gets to kill him it's me and I've decided to opt out of that for the forseeable future. OKbye.'
All that aside, she's going to lose her entire mind if she doesn't do this, so--
She reaches out to stop his hand before he can take another bite and just straight-up steals the fruit -- rude!!! -- holding it out of his reach until she can lean in and kiss that spot at the corner of his mouth, her tongue darting out quickly to catch that stray drop.]
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And he was just about to respond when--????/?/??/
His mind actually stutters, he hadn't entirely been expecting that. His instinct was nearly to turn his head and catch her mouth with his and then she licked him and--
Rey. He's really doing his best to not turn this into some dumb "Let's fuck IMMEDIATELY, that is what will make this better". Because everyone here is still questioning where things are going to go from here.
Deep Breaths. Deep slow breaths. We are not going there Immediately. HE IS DOING HIS BEST.
Rey is really just gonna question whether he actually wants sex isn't she? Like a nineteen year old is throwing herself at him and he's just 'yeah cool thats fine. let's continue talking'So he doesn't pull away or make a move towards her. Just tries to continue to talk as every baser instinct within him is screaming for him to take action. ]
Do you want your relationship with them to continue based on a pleasant lie or the truth?
[ And like??? This is part of the reason he's not just immediately dicking her down at this second. It's easy to dick down when you can pretend there will be zero consequences. But Ben Solo isn't a fool, he knows this will change everyone's view on her. He's a fairly large stain on how they view Rey. He would completely understand if she wanted to walk away or hide him or do anything else but speak the truth. ]
jesus god they're never gonna fuck but i love it bc slow burn is my jaaaaaam
But she's keeping the rest of that pear, because fuuuuuuuuck you, that's why. If she's not getting laid you're not getting to finish your pear. She's just chomp on it angrily while glaring just a little because she doesn't know what she wants.]
You know it's not that simple. I don't want to lose them, but... I'm not willing to lose you, either.
[And if it comes down to it, well. Her choice is pretty obvious, at least to her. That doesn't mean she's especially eager to face the looks on her friends' faces when she tells them she's made it.]
BEN JUST WANTS TO GET SOME UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP FIRST OKAY
But really. He's infuriating in that he'll still brush some of her mussed hairs side as she chews angrily. And is just... that even, gentle, intense nature that he always has. ]
Don't make up their minds for them.
[ He doesn't want to say that her friends will like this situation or accept it. He's not sure what any of them will think, he's very self aware that he isn't not exactly Mr. Popular. But if she digs her heels into the ground to want to just run away and disappear?? Well. This will definitely implode.
Also. Excuse him. He's going to pluck that fruit from her hand and set it on the tray with all the other food and set that aside. Any protest Rey has about this will be cut short when his arms curl around her waist and he decidedly lays down. He's clearly attempting to coax her to lay with him, but it's gentle.
Really, Rey. He would enjoy nothing more than letting you ride his dick but he's still living in a strange state of mind that feels far away from reality.
There is still a chance for her even now, but his body is still in a really weird state of mind atmWhenever she settles in whatever state she currently wants to be in he'll murmur: ]
You don't need to hold back. [ He can feel her dancing around eggshells when she asks him questions. Afraid to push him too far. ] I don't mind.
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Her mind is at least starting to accept that he's real and that the last sixteen days, awful as they felt, are over. They're not now. She wants the impossible guarantee that she's not going to feel that way again, and she knows she can't have that. She's feeling a little bit selfish on that point nonetheless.
But. Hold on a minute here, Ben. You're gonna want to pay attention. This moment may never come again.]
You're right.
[Once she gives him a few seconds to let that one land.]
I'll figure out how to tell them what they need to know. Tomorrow.
[She'll probably send a message to... Rose, perhaps. Rose has always seemed level-headed. Maybe she can prep the others the news that no one's going to want to hear. Maybe by then Rey will have figured out how to state it both neutrally and yet make it incredibly clear that she's not entertaining arguments on the matter of Ben's continued survival.
That decided, she'll lay down with him without protest because, honestly, she's tired enough that she's sure the exhaustion can't even all be hers and she's starting to get the idea that he might not have slept very much when she did, before. So she'll allow herself to be settled and stop trying to press any of herself up against his dick since honestly that does sound a little exhausting to figure out rn. She will, however, go back to idly playing with his hair. Super gently, just because she enjoys it and he's not been too subtle about the fact that he does, too.
She will, however, frown when he talks about holding back. Is that what he thinks she's doing? Is not just launching straight to the most painful subjects such a rarity in his life that he thinks it takes some great restraint? Rey's just... trying to be considerate. He came back from the dead. After dying for her. What could she possibly ask about anything that came before whose answer would matter now?
She knows there are things she's never going to understand. Why he killed a father he loved. Why he was willing to kill Snoke but then not walk away. The answers to those questions aren't things she feels will do anything good even if she were dying to know them.
The only thing that has been weighing on her mind --]
Do you remember anything about those sixteen days? A part of Leia was trapped and aware. That's why Luke came to me -- the entire Force was being affected by something Palpatine had done to try and stop her. But they said--
[Her voice shakes a little and she has to take a breath and try again. It hurts to think of him trapped somewhere, maybe in pain, maybe alone. Maybe able to remember all of it. She doesn't know, but she has been picking up on some of his general unease about the whole having-been-dead thing.]
-- they said you weren't there. You weren't in the Force at all.
[Sorry she went straight for the existential crisis there but she wasn't really up for talking about childhood trauma or murder or terrible life choices.]
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I remember feeling like I was with my mom. [ it felt like a dream or a recollection that heโd let go of years ago ] We were in Chandrila.
[ He wonโt mention that it felt like she was playing with his hair in much the same fashion as Rey is now. No need to bring up that strange thread of โyou and my mom and my grandma all share the same kinda look and so apparently I also have mommy issues lmaoโ. ]
I donโt remember anything else.
[ just. Nothing. Non-existence. Heโs not fond of the concept he finds. ]
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She likes being this close, though. Give her some time to get past the general surreality of it all and she'll probably be a little less skittish in general.]
I'm glad you were with her in some way.
[She'd been so scared that he was suffering somehow when she'd heard. Leia had been in pain, trapped, holding on. And Rey hadn't even known; she was so off-kilter and avoidant of the Force beyond what was necessary that she'd nearly missed it. She's glad she hadn't been too late to help. That she'd been strong enough to help at all. It's the only thing that makes any of it remotely okay now.]
Tell me what you need from me.
[It's a soft murmured offer; permission to give over anything he's holding onto that he thinks would have broken her earlier. She tries to send that sense of reassurance through their bond, letting him know that she's fine now, she's safe and content and not going to fall entirely to pieces if there's anything he doesn't want to bear alone.]
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His mouth tugs into something close to that smile. ]
Say it again.
[ He hopes she'll understand what he's asking for without further prompting. But he'll be more specific if she asks for it. ]
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I love you.
[It's immediate and unhesitating, offered with a soft smile and the gentlest of kisses pressed to his lips. She's not demanding anything this time, but she's getting pretty fond of kissing him.]
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And even when he stops kissing her, he isn't pulling back very far. Enough to mumble against her lips. And-- well he isn't saying the words back, but he is giving you a confession. ]
When you came to me on the Supremacy. [ His lips brush against hers with every word, every breath being exchanged ] That's when I knew.
[ Around there, he'd been a little distracted by other things... and. Well, once she shut the door on him on Crait, that was when he was absolutely certain. And it was the actual worst.
ANd yeah. Yeah he is fully aware that THAT is a lot, just a lot of intensity and maybe slightly pathetic. He'd been so starved for anyone to look at him and see him and want him that he fell for Rey near immediately. But while she questions whether this is just the Dyad or real, he first felt this when he saw her all boxed up in that crate. ]
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She'd never fathomed the possibility of falling in love before him, and was too busy trying to drag him back from the Dark Side to consider why she'd been willing to fling herself directly at the First Order for him without a real backup plan. It had just seemed like the correct thing to do. And she'd been frustrated with Luke, and their connection had been confusing and frustrating and the only thing that had felt right to her all at once.
And then Snoke had said it had been his doing.
And then she'd run, but he'd found her. And she hadn't stopped feeling' she'd only stopped reaching out. She thought he'd made his choice and had tried to distance herself so that choice wouldn't inexplicably hurt so much.
She knew when she felt him arrive at Exegol, and in that instant it felt like she'd always known. It was just that she'd been fighting it with every last ounce of willpower that she had so that she wouldn't risk losing anyone else who mattered. She doesn't have the energy or the desire to put any of that into words. Not now, not with his lips still touching hers, not when she's had the singular experience of losing him forever but having him defy every law of nature to come back.
No one's ever come back to her before.]
I'm sorry I left you then. It wasn't easy.
[She'd felt she'd had to, but maybe... she'll always wonder just a little bit if maybe she'd met him halfway they could have found a way free of the First Order together. Maybe some of this could have been averted.]
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He'd been prepared for her to kinda laugh at how much of a dumb school girl he was or express disbelief or-- Anything but apologize.
He had been angry and hateful and hurt and so bitter. He'd tried to forget her and become a monster and yet every part of his being felt changed because of her. He knew why she left, well. He knew and then his mind kept telling him it was the same as it had always been and--
Even now, he had to chase after her. Repeatedly. She'd kept slipping through his fingers as he closed in on her. And finally once he'd reached Palpatine, they'd fallen in step. Perfect alignment and--
Well. Yeah.
It'd been nice that she kissed him first, the perfect last thing to know before slipping through the cracks of space and time.
--Ugh. No. He can't believe it. Actually, no, yes he can believe it> He's gone about twelve hours without breaking down into tears and he's past due. Fortunately, it's not a full on cry. It's welling of eyes until they're glossy and he has enough warning to shove his face into her shoulder. She'd seen him looking worse, sure-- but he'd never been this vulnerable in a setting like this with her.
The last person he'd cried in front of like this was Snoke and
well.
Yeah. ]
I understood.
[ Spoken truly like someone with zero self esteem. His voice has a watery quality to it as he wills back all the tears that want to fall. ]
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She's not going to judge or even question his reaction; she's been an entire mess for the whole last day. Honestly she's surprised it's taken him this long to lose his calm. She's been such a ball of unending stress that it's a wonder the two of them didn't both just fall apart at once and/or accidentally murder one another over a misunderstanding. So this... is fine. She can handle your weird emotional outbursts if you can handle hers.
She'll just shift to pull him as tightly to her as she can and rub small soothing motions over his back while trying to let him feel all the sense of safety and acceptance she has to offer.]
It's okay. We're okay now.
[He's here and he's safe and he's loved; she understands enough to know he needs that.]
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Well... At the very least Lando can explain how young Ben Solo had a fondness for streaking across the room stark naked. And idly hope that he hasn't kept that habit into adult hood.
He'll shake that longing away, it won't serve him to think of things which never were. ]
My entire life, I've had darkness in my head. Voices besides my own. [ He wants to try and explain, even if maybe it's salt in the already healed wound at this point. ] After I killed Snoke-- it was so quiet.
[ And all at once he felt lost, alone, and afraid. Suddenly the only thing which had offered him anything close to guidance and support was gone, by his hand. He had unraveled right next to Rey as she had already begun charging forward in another direction. And he feels so petty admitting this next part, he wants to be perfect for her, to erase every doubt she had. But. He was the one who stressed honesty. ]
You didn't ask.
[ It came down to the few milliseconds she'd turned away from him and the base instinct that he needed to protect himself by whatever means necessary. The safest bet had been the best bet. Join the dwindling Resistance which had sided with his Uncle who had attempted to murder him for everything be became? Or stay with the First Order as the one with the most power and untouchable?
It was ridiculous in hindsight. He hadn't accomplished much and he ended up dying the first chance he got. But at the time-- He'd been somewhere completely different in his head. ]
I didn't think I could go.
[ He had admitted as much to her. ]
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It's a thought she has to forcibly shove away; she won't entertain it. Won't let Ben take it on for her, either, though she idly wonders if the thought will occur to him later and he'll hate her for being a descendant of the creature that stole his life.]
I know. I should have.
[She should have made it clear that she'd have always made a space for him, somehow. It would have been easier with Leia there. But if they'd survived Exegol together, she would have figured out on the spot how to bring him back without either of them dying. It only seemed difficult now because there were less immediately painful options.
And that, as much as anything else, gives her the resolve to do what she has to in order to face them. Running away never helped anything.]
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I wanted to go with you-- [ He knows she could sense it. She told him over and over that he would turn. And in the end, he was the one who bent. ]-- I was a coward.
[ A scared little boy masquerading as a monster in a mask. At the very least he reclaimed his own agency at the end. Took charge of his fate head on.
He presses his lips together and perhaps she'll be able to feel the muscles of his jaw move as he shifts them. He doesn't want her to wallow and blame herself-- but it was nice to just... talk. ]
I like your hands in my hair.
[ That is his not-so-subtle way of asking for her to fuck around with his hair again. ]
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She's calm and content despite the echoes of regret that she'd felt. There was no sense in wondering what-if. There was never going to be any way of knowing what might have been.]
I never thought you were a coward. [softly, after a while.
She'd never been able to understand the path that obviously caused him such inner conflict, but having felt the Dark emanating from Palpatine in just those few moments on Exegol, a lot has crystallized for her. Her whole life she'd only ever felt glimpses of the Dark, and those had been enough to nearly drive her to murder. He'd had the man and his lies in his head for years and had still found his way back.
And he wasn't running away now, when it would be easier for them both to just disappear. That counted for something.]
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Then again, Snoke and Palpatine wouldn't have given up that easily.
In the end, he can only really blame himself. All his fears and weaknesses, everything he had run from until it had been too late.
But Rey's words do hold weight to them, as though there was no room for argument. And who was he to deny her that? ]
I love you. [ Just.... trying to express a quarter of what he feels. Especially has his mind starts to drift with they soft ministrations of her fingers in his damp hair. ]
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[Because this is a Star War, and because they can't just get into a loop of saying it back and forth all night, and also because she knows it's not just about that. Some things are too complex to sum up in a few words. She knows; she feels it too.
She's going to keep playing with his hair until one of them falls asleep. She kind of hopes he does, first, because she wants to make sure he actually sleeps this time. But it's been a really, really long few weeks and this is all a lot.
She's not sure which one of them falls asleep first or what time it is when she wakes again; only that she becomes dimly aware of the sound of some distant beeping; probably BB-8 tasked with making sure they're both alive and wearing clothes before anyone else disturbs them.
She'll get up and poke her head out the door, being as careful as possible not to wake Ben, and let the little droid know that everything's fine and that she's going to try to record a holo to send to her friends as soon as she can. They need to see and hear that it's not a trick of some sort before she can try to make them understand. And maybe it's taking half the easy way, to be able to say some of what needs to be said without seeing their faces.
Either way, she's poking about the room as quietly as she can for a while and trying to avoid waking Ben up, unsure if she wants to just climb back in bed or compose her thoughts now so she's ready to sit down with BB-8 and record.
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This is the first time he's slept in decades with out any invasive voice trying to twist him to do their will, after all. As Rey does sit up to climb out of the bunk, Ben will be twisting to get the blanket more firmly around him. He's a hogger, apparently. At the very least he seems... settled. It helps that Rey's feeling better as well.
He will begin to drift awake slightly as Rey begins to move about the room. He won't make much noise to alert her to the fact as he sleepily starts to observe her nervously pacing about. But she'll start to feel the ping of his energy as he wakes up more. ]
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And then there's the fact that of course her judgment is compromised. How could her judgment not be compromised when the experience of living her life for a mere two weeks without her former mortal enemy made her... the way it had. This is why Jedi aren't supposed to fall in love. How long would it have been before the Dark crept in?
That's where her thoughts are circling, though it's not the nervous, manic energy from before. This is just Rey working through a problem that she's got to figure out the answer to sooner than later.
When she feels Ben start to wake she glances over her shoulder at him and offers a little smile.]
Was I thinking too loudly?
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in which Rey is a vicious tease.
in which ben solo has no understand of how normal humans act
Rey: *just quietly implodes*
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writes an entire speech
better than any of Hux's speeches tbh
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makes everything worse or better idfk
Bruh its both
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coping skills: n o p e.
coping skills: laughs in star wars
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this sure didn't get any better!!!!
ITS ALL FINE. DONT WORRY. NOTHING TO SEE HERE AS REYS LIFE CASUALLY LIGHTS ON FIRE.
does he kiss his mother with that mou -- whoops nvm
excuse me wtf I never said I was gonna bring out the porgs.
look it's either dick or porgs i don't make the rules
okay porgs were first on his ideas list, then booze, then finding something for her to fix
all A++ ideas tbh, good thinking Ben
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lord I spent 24 hours dealing with sick children pls send help enjoy Disney!
What if I just send more children.
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writes this high on Nyquil thanks kids for the plague
Rings bell and screams BRING OUT UR DEEEEEEEEEEAD
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isn't the desire to fuck han solo just part of the galaxy's collective consciousness?
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current soundtrack: desire by meg myers. you're welcome.
LMFAO I'm tagging u at an airport gate sO UR WELCOME TOO
ofc now I've just got Lin Manuel Miranda singing you're welcome in my brain gj self
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these icons ruin everything lmfao
you misspelled "enhance the entire experience exponentially"
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remember the good old days when it was just Rey on the verge of a panic attack?
honestly we're all impressed he's kept it together this long
They are a relay race of keeping it together. It's a balance.
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I literally fell asleep halfway through writing this last night lmao
LMFAO. It was your intentions that counted most
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i didn't write this at the dentist, go me
I DIDNT WRITE THIS AT WORK GO US
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hey fam. wanna come rip out my uterus these cramps are killing my vibe
my kids gave me their sore throat. shares advil and general lack of vibe.
Work was being a dick so here I am back
my household had the plague so we all lose
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