literaldumpsterfire | Pretentious RP with Kylo page

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Pretentious RP with Kylo page

~~Ben Solo~~
Kylo Ren

The protein shakes, where are they?

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Prompts&Wishlists&Ships Yes / No / Maybe Texts Prompts Trigger Warnings / Important Soundtrack Aesthetics Contact Me

Prompts&Wishlists&Ships

GENERAL PROMPTS

Redemption arc: Kylo leaving the First Order. Due to either slow burn reasons (Figuring out holy shit I don't want this) or Immediate Issues That Need Solving (Rey's kidnapped, Hux turns on him, etcetc)

Re-adjusting to life in the light/in the Resistance. Whether it goes smoothly or Rough is up to the situation

Early First Order Days. Especially when Snoke was breaking his Ben Solo identity

Ben Solo Pre-First Order

Ben Solo as the most obnoxious Resistance Member idek

Jedi Hippie camp with Luke

BEN AND HIS FAMILY

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

Becoming king of Porgs and other cute creatures and he doesn't understand why

Becoming his father's son

Also being just like his mother

AND ALSO BEING JUST LIKE LUKE

Rey convinces Kylo to come with her and join the Resistance. The resulting tension and rebuilding of trust in him... As well as Jedi training with her

Interactions with his mother, whether it be from the above scenario, or even reaching out through the force

Poe, Finn and the rest of the Resistance reacting to kylo switching sides. Poe hitting on Kylo and having to give him tons of dumb nicknames because Ren only wants his mom and Rey to call him ben

Kylo being a weird Scary Older Brother to the entire Resistance.

Kylo and Anakin. KYLO AND KENOBI

Discussions/threads with Han Luke and Leia- discussion forgiveness and mistakes

Rebuilding the Jedi Order

Post War Threads

Kylo Ren disappears mysteriously from the war after major internal strife causes the downfall of the First Order. Someone comes across Ben Solo in hiding years later

Kylo on Jakku complaining its hot as balls. Look. I don't know. I'm just saying it would be hilarious

Drunk texts are the best don't tell me otherwise

SHIPPY PROMPTS
SHIPS I AM DOWN FOR
Kylo/Rey hands down

If ur sittin there readin this going "Oh no but so many Reys are bugging them I don't wanna be annoying" I don't fucking care TAG ME

Hand touching

I love you. I know.

Forcebond shenanigans. Kylo or Rey reaching out to touch the other while the other one is busy (GOOD SHIT. GOOD SHIT)

Rey getting seriously injured and separated from the Resistance. Her only option is to force time Kylo

Kylo finding Rey on Ahch'to and them fucking around under luke's nose (Forcebond in person who knows)~~SMUT HUT~~

FORCEFULLY GIVING REY A BIRTHDAY AND MAKING HER CELEBRATE IT

Snoke tries to kill kylo in front of rey and it doesn't go like he plans

REY IN A GODDAMN DRESS AND KYLO ACTUALLY NOT KNOWING HOW TO REACT AT ALL

CLEANING HER DUMB HOUSE

Forcebond dreaming shenanigans. Especially if Rey or Kylo are stuck in one anothers nightmares.

Rey finding out how bad Snoke really was.

Visiting Ahch'to together

Empress Rey

Empress Rey Working to secretly undermine the first order

Meeting before TFA/in different circumstances

Fighting/sexual tension/beating each other up. u kno

Just re-enact Pride and Prejudice with me

Either one suffering from insomnia and helping the other sleep

Public Sex

Weird DubCon Sex (Rey taking advantage of Kylo I'm freely admitting to my trash)

SHIPS I AM MAYBE ON
Kylo/Poe: I'm not of the fanon that Ben or Poe knew each other as kids. If you want to play that, talk with me first, we'll need to hash out details. If you wanna do hateship, that's fine too. Again. I'd like to be consulted first
Kylo/Hux: This is such a huge maybe it's almost a no. I am not down for fluffy Kylo/Hux. I don't think Kylo or Hux secretly love each other and that takes form in them wanting to murder each other when they walk into a room and see each other. I do not think Kylo wants anything to do with Hux's dick Ever. I only see this happening as Hux taking advantage of Kylo when he's emotionally compromised and unprotected without Snoke keeping Hux in line.
So Kylux is only a "cool lets do it" if you are willing to play out something unhealthy, toxic, with a huge dose of hate and manipulation. Kylo/ANYONE ELSE: Not against pretty much any other ship, but Kylo's a hard dude to ship with for. A lot of reasons. Talk with me first, and I'll see if we can work something out.

CHARACTERS/CROSSOVERS

I'm fine with every and any star wars characters. If you are doing something from the EU I request that you just have enough info in your profile so I know what your character's deal is

AU characters are fine. I'm not really into Gender Bent characters (sorry y'all), again-- I just need info in your profile about the AU (Unless it's discussed w me before hand)

I Herald from disney princess beginnings. Give me all your princesses I think this combo is fucking hilarious

Brienne of Tarth because i'm still laughing about it

God I will add more later. Really just tag me.

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YES / NO / MAYBE

YES

text messages, actionspam, lengthy brackets, prose.

ous/ au/ all us tbh

previous meme or psl continuations / sequels / c&ping a starter i never replied to.

EMOTIONALLY HEAVY BULLSHIT

FLUFF

contact me if i drop a tag you want picked up

Angst

redemption arcs

intense emotionally heavy threads

Smut

general

hurt comfort

Kylo or Rey getting injured

Kylo being a huge fucking brat.

if there's anything you're not sure about, ask!

Rape.

Dull RP.

Taking this character WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.

Me doing the work of moving a scene along

rape/non-con. Especially with Kylo as the aggressor (This can be changed with prior discussion and prior threading)

scatophilia, emetophiloa, necrophilia.

gender/sexuality play.

degradation involving racism or ablism.

power-gaming and ooc dick-measuring contests.

AUs with no information

OCs with no information

Maybe

Dub con

torture

killing

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Appearance

APPEARANCEINFOHERE

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Trigger warnings important info

Mental health

I know everyone and their mom with an armchair psychologist degree wants to diagnose Kylo Ren/Ben Solo with whatever mental illness checks all the boxes. I know Bipolar and Borderline personality disorder are two popular illnesses to cite when it comes to his mental health. Along with a healthy dose of citing him as a sociopath/psychopath. However, I'm not going to be using those illnesses/personality disorders in how I play Kylo. While they fit on paper, I don't believe "what's wrong with him" presents in the correct fashion in canon for any one of the above listed issues.

I believe Kylo Ren/Ben Solo is suffering from: Recurring Chronic Major Depression it could be passed down through their family given what we know of Anakin and what happened with Luke; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder From his force powers manifesting with him having little control over it as a kid, from being sent away to Luke after his mother couldn't handle him on her own anymore, from his father leaving one day and never coming back, from having a voice whispering in his head his entire life, from that voice being a predator who preyed on his weaknesses and molded him into what he wanted Ben to be, from Luke Skywalker holding a lightsaber above his head, from abuse after abuse from Snoke, and probably a Ton more. Abandonment issues stemming first from his parents (And quite probably friends he had who left for whatever reason, or bridges he burned on his own) and then just. The entire force tbh. And abandonment issues is where he gets his unchecked rage, he, in canon, is quite literally triggered into a rage whenever he confronts someone who he felt abandoned him, or when he feels rejected or left behind. Finally he is a victim of Brainwashing and indoctrination from Snoke. Snoke is a narcissist who was using Kylo as a means to an end, it's been stated and shown that he was ready to kill Kylo after the Last Jedi since he had become unbalanced and unpredictable. If you don't agree with what I am saying here (Which is fine :) ), then I suggest you don't play with me. I am fairly confident in this being the way I see and play Kylo.

I play him as having triggers. I won't get into the reasoning behind each one, but i'll specify the specifics which come to mind: Abandonment (Perceived or real), his family, loss of control (Physically, emotionally, mentally, through the force)

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name. naima age. 30 timezone. PST discord. nainai#8088 plurk. billnaisciguy code. tessisamess

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He's just laying back and taking it, especially once she continues to run her hand over him and squeezes every last bit of his orgasm out with the motion. His chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath and every inch of him is flushed.

He looks up as she wipes her facE OFF ON HIS DAD'S BLANKET AND---

Do not panic.

You can clean that up. If you panic she will panic and that is not a good after sex look for anyone. At least she's not just wiping off her face and shoving that shit up her vagina like "And now you'll be mine FOREVER." That is no one's kink here.

Instead he takes a deep breath and shakily pushes himself up and pulls her up from the floor to his lap so he can kiss her. She's seeking approval and he's giving it to her and man this is how this grooming shit starts.

But on the OTHER HAND????? He would have been with Snoke right about now otherwise?? SO/?/??

Look at me. Trying to justify this trash fire. By god Olivia Benson is looking down on me with Massive disapproval.

But, yeah, he's not thinking about that. He's thinking about how he wants to kiss her as he links their fingers together and aims to steal her breath away. ]

[ She crawls up into his lap, straddling his thighs, no attention to the fact that they are naked and cuddling from the quasi-sex Ben Solo just had with a fourteen-year-old. She wraps herself around him and. No. Really. She might not be entrapping him with trying to get pregnant bullshit but here she is barnacling onto him like he's never getting away now.

Fuck the Force bond, this shit's forever.

When he kisses her, he'll taste the salt of his own come mingled with hers on her tongue, and she doesn't hold back in devouring his mouth, melting into this embrace even though her jaw is sore and her heart full. Eventually, her kisses drift down to his neck and shoulder and she buries her face in the junction there.

She feels like crying. Is it normal to feel like crying? She doesn't know. But it's just. A lot. She squeezes his hand instead, glad for their laced fingers to anchor her. ]

[ SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP AT LEAST HE DIDNT STICK HIS DICK INTO HER VAGINA. IT DOESNT COUNT UNTIL HIS DICK IS IN HER VAGINA LALALALALALLALALALALA

But that bond is purring between them. The Force is the real pervert here, this is some strange end point to whatever happened between them. He doesn't care about the taste of his own cum or her wrapping herself so tightly to him he's just-- melting with her.

Oh yeah that shame will come later. don't you worry. He's just running on endorphins now. ]

How are you?

[ Wanting to make sure the child he just fucked is okay. You have some standards Ben, I'll give you that. ]

Good.

[ That seems to undersell it. Her breath is short, and she can't get enough of him. Fuck the Force, she's practically purring, nuzzling at his neck, drinking in the feeling of their closeness. She's drunk with it. Years and years of starving for affection, for any kind of touch, and now this. The Mr Galaxywide All-U-Can-Eat Buffet. ]

Very good. [ She laughs, but it's a pitchy sound, strained, still experiencing Every Human Emotion at once. ] Better than I ever hoped I'd be. Ben, I — [ Wow. Just wow. It's a lot. ] I've never had anything like this. You feel it too, don't you?

[ Honestly, she's good which was the thing he was most concerned about rn. So that unknots some tension in his shoulders. His hands run across her back gently now, savoring the way he can feel the energy around them ripple and pulse. Not to mention that strange bone deep satisfaction ]

Yeah. [ He can't lie about that, even if he'll be freaking out about it later. The force wanted him to fuck a fourteen year old and he did it. Fuck his life. IF THE FORCE ASKED HIM TO JUMP OFF A bRIDGE WOULD HE DO IT----

yeah probably. ]

You think you can put your clothes back on now?

[ It's honestly a tease bUT THAT WAS THEIR FUCKING DEAL. NOW WITH ACTUAL LITERAL FUCKING. ]

[ She huffs out an amused sound at that and glances back over her shoulder at the rest of the crew quarters. At the pile of her clothing. She doesn't particularly want to climb off of him to go get them, but she supposes they have to, right? Han and Chewie apparently can't know. She pulls herself reluctantly out of his lap, her hands roaming the span of her bare torso in consideration.

She feels … different.

After letting one hand hover against her breast in thought for a minute, she turns and collects her clothing, parsing the pieces out from each other and shaking out the sand. The original purpose of removing them, after all. She beats the sand out against the wall with a steady metal thud thud thud and then starts pulling it on. ]

Uh, thanks. I guess. [ This all feels very perfunctory now. She doesn't know how to follow up because SHE'S FOURTEEN. They are not even dating. They're not even telling anyone about it. This is a mess. ]

[ A fucking mess as he... has to get his pants and underwear back on as--- She just goes and makes this a weird fucking transaction now. ???? How does he respond to that??

"Good pig"???

Okay beyond the fact that he won't get weird 90's references (HES NOT A TRU 90S KID EVEN THO ADAM DRIVER CERTAINLY IS), He's aware that this is a Fraught subject and-- THEY DIDNT REALLY HAVE TIME TO TALK ALL THIS THROUGH.

So he approaches her still only half dressed and it should be illegal for him to be half dressed and looking as sheepish as he does. ] Please don't thank me.

[ Again, it makes this feel like some weird Sex Worker thing. ] I enjoyed myself-- We -- [ Shit she is only fourteen and now he's understanding how unbalanced this is??? Even if it felt good and right?? What the fuck Force???? ] -- don't need to have things figured out right now. [ And because somehow he is having sense NOW AND NOT WHEN A FOURTEEN YEAR OLDS MOUTH WAS ON HIS COCK-- He reaches out to pluck her hand in his. ] I just know I want you in my life.

[ Which is seriously the creepiest thing to say but I guess they do that when they are 5 years older after knowing each other for like. 5 days and 4 of those days is either trying to kill one another or yelling at one another, so I'll give this a pass. ]

[ She takes his hand and exhales a breath she hadn't realized she was holding onto. She steps in closer and enfolds herself in his arms, pressing her cheek to his bare chest and — ]

I want that too.

[ She lets go of his hand to wrap her arms around his waist, drawing in a breath. His scent comforts her, as does the warmth of her skin. Centers her. It makes everything make sense again. She doesn't know enough to call it the Force, but it's bone deep and it feels like purpose. It's right. ]

And I wish we could stay here a while longer. [ Hold each other, make promises. But they can't. Han and Chewie need to be considered, and the fact this room desperately needs to be aired out. She looks up to search his expression. ]

[ well guess what. He has an actual child bride now. Chris Hansen hold my beer.

At the very least she understands why this can’t get out right now and she’s not That childlike yikes. Yikesyikes yikes. I keep having to remind myself that the alternative is Rey remains a Slave for years and ben solo murders students and then his father and becomes supreme leader so as yikes as this is right now maybe a bit of dicking a fourteen year old isn’t as bad???????

Y I k e s.

He leans down and presses his lips to her head. Just. Feeling a lot as well and having troubles expressing it. But it’s there all these weird emotions they’ll have to contend with until maybe they can breathe out a sigh of relief when she turns 18 and they can both be like SURPRISE. WEVE BEEN FUCKING THE ENTIRE TIME. (Literally everyone: we know

Actually. Does that mean ben and rey are gonna be in the resistance with Poe???? Oh no. ] I do too— but you need to get cleaned up.

[ such a practical asshole. ] And go look at the view.

[ AND HE NEEDS TO STEALTH CLEAN THESE SHEETS ]

[ The kiss placates her sufficiently to draw away from him, loosen her grip, finally separate. She pulls on the rest of her clothes then, shaking each article out individually before putting it on.

She foregoes her sash, but not her belt. She doesn't need it just now. ]

Ben … I'm not afraid of what happens if they find out. [ She didn't want to leave the room without impressing this upon him. ] If they do, we'll figure something out. Don't do anything you'll regret to protect us.

[ He's just pulling on his shirt when she says that and-- oddly it does put him at ease. Like. Don't kill people to keep this secret, let's not go Full Hamlet here, we have the lion king for that shit. His head bows a bit and there's a softer expression tugging at the lines of his face. ]

I don't want that to always be an "if".

[ They-- still got a good. like. 3 years. At Least of keeping the romantic side of their... Thing under wraps. But at the very least he's earnest about that. If they keep on with this, if this bond is tying them together for keeps-- then he doesn't want to keep this in the dark. ]

I'm glad.

[ It's a promised end, if not a specific one. Her smile is chagrined, for already she has seen the strife in keeping secrets from loved ones, but it's a smile nonetheless. She wipes the back of her hand across her mouth again. ]

… Do I really need to get cleaned up?

[ She'd sort of figured wiping her mouth covered it. ]

( FUN FACT! Back when Mulan was my main I did the Probably math and Shang is PROBABLY ABOUT THE SAME AGE DIFFERENCE AS BEN AND REY. SO I MEAN. )

[ There's a huff of breath that could be mistaken for a laugh. ]

Yes. Hands and face. [ He's fairly sure if anyone could recognize SUSPECT fluids it would be Han Solo. And... Maybe this Gross thing will motivate her since Rey seems to have little concept of Hygiene (You better believe there is going to be an older woman/Female of SOME SORT on Han's crew so she can be like "oh honey look at you come here let me show you things" because there is no way a 25 year old dude who is the only Son of a household is equipped or ready to deal with that topic.) ] You can use my tooth brush if you want.

[ She looks her hands over like ? ?? ? they look … fine … Whatever, she's starting to embrace that her new husband is just a clean freak. She drops her hands and sighs. ]

Hands and face.

[ She reiterates this, as though it is some great compromise on her part. When she turns to go, he will catch her briefly sniffing her hands on her way out the door of the crew quarter's, hanging left for the refresher. ]

[ Dear god. Yes. I am writing in a sassy older sister type on han's crew for rey ASAP.

WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER YOU WERE JUST GIVING BEN A HAND JOB. PLEASE.

Ben, in the mean time is just gonna. Slide on the rest of his clothes and try to get his hair back in order. Give her a few minutes in the refresher to do her thing because at his point he's

a little nervous to be alone with her. Because they were pushing their luck HARD and he doesn't want to have to brainwash his father.

Again.

And then he's gathering up the blanket and going to head into the refresher TO SCRUB THE FUCK OUT OF HIS SPUNK JFC REY. Nope nopenopenopenope.

He can get knowing looks from his father in a few years in regards to Rey. Or if like. He was the one sleeping in his father's bunk and he could just be like "JEEZ. SPANKED ONE OUT RIGHT HERE" like he can deal with that but NOT "oh so you fucked a child in my bunk THANKS" implication.

When he finishes with that, barring running into Rey in the hall, he'll make his way to the cockpit to check on things and.

Honestly to see Rey looking out at space. Because it's gotta be kinda cool for a girl who's been stuck on Jakku. ]

[ Rey scrubs her hands clean — with soap, even — and rinses out her mouth and cleans her face. It looks just as pink as it did before that. She really doesn't see the issue. But the tacky feeling is gone, she supposes, and that's not unwelcome.

Then she's off to the cockpit — passing Ben in the hall while he goes to clean up the sheet, but not holding him — where Han and Chewie both rib her for sleeping in. Honestly, she's comfortable with that interpretation. She settles into the jump seat to get a better view of the white streaks over the viewport. ]

It's incredible.

[ Chewie trills. She grins over at him. ]

Not all of us have seen it before, furball. [ But then her eyes are back up on hyperspace. She's still marveling over it when Ben arrives, though she gets up out of the jump seat behind Chewie to make room for Ben. He'll be more cramped standing up, given his height, so she doesn't mind giving it up. ] How long until we get to the freighter?

[ He eyeballs her as she moves (As do Han and Chewie) but scoots in to take the seat never the less. Picking and choosing the fights he has over prioritzing her over everything else.

'It'll be a couple more hours. Jakku's a bit outta our way.'

Chewie howls in confirmation that, they are generally no where near the ass crack of the galaxy. Ben sorta-- shoots him a look. Which the wookiee responds with what can only be interpreted as 'Sorry, not sorry.'

Though, Han has to admit the fondness for the face Rey is making. He recognizes it pretty well-- hasn't really ever had the chance to see it on too many other people's faces, seems like just about anyone could get to the stars nowadays. But--

'Anywhere you wanna see before we get there, kid?'

Fully expecting her to turn the opportunity down but you know. Might as well offer. ]

[ She looks at all their faces swiveled towards her. She's never felt more like a tourist. And, honestly, she wants to get to Luke's temple as soon as possible. There's a crisis. But the fact that he's even asking gives her this long, sputtering pause like ? ?? that's a lot of fuel.

Anyway, she ultimately shakes her head in a hurry. Nope. That's really not necessary. ]

Uh, thanks though. [ She looks down at Ben. ] What's it like on the planet where Luke's temple is?

[ She doesn't even know what temple it is. No one does. Time to make some shit up. ]

[ Don't mind as Han just butts in because he's a rude motherfucker.

'Not even gonna ask me about the places, I've seen.'

Han seems a little chuffed and Chewie just pats his shoulder like. Nice try impressing the fourteen year old dude. and now BEN's being put on the spot. He kinda half shrugs.

Disclaimer: I am not even gonna name the planet on the off chance they name it somewhere else and if they do I am 100% sure it's a planet we have not heard about yet. Also Ahch'to was gonna be the planet but then JJ came and decided NAH to that plot so THAT AND ONE IMAGE BEFORE EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE IS ALL I HAVE TO GO ON.

Oh i also have the name for Ben's Possible Girlfriend. ]

The weather was a bit unpredictable and Luke had an obsession with finding oceans and lakes and sitting out in the rain. [ Children from deserts are all the same it appears. ] It's nothing like Jakku.

[ Like, he's sure she's never seen grass. How do you explain "There's grass and water falls from the sky" to a girl who was raised in a sandbox. ]

[ She nods. That's what she suspected. That nowhere could be like Jakku, nowhere could be that bad. She had believed all this time that she had seen the worst of the galaxy because she needed to believe that somewhere out there was better than where she was.

And she'd been right. ]

That's where I want to go.

[ Oceans. Lakes. Sitting out in the rain. Water everywhere. She puts a hand on Han's shoulder and leans over. ]

But if you want to tell me about the places you've been, it sounds like we've got a few hours.

[ Han makes a face like ? ?? is HE now in danger of the fourteen-year-old ? ?? Is this Hard Candy ?? He looks at Chewie. Chewie nods to him, and so Han gets up and joins Rey in the lounge.

They settle in.

'What kinda place do you want to hear about kid?' ]

Somewhere green.

[ 'Well, I was on Endor a while back.' ]

Fighting the Empire?

[ 'Yeah.' He laughs, 'Fighting the Empire.' ]

[ Ben sees them leaves and actually....

Doesn't know what to do with himself? Now they have to contend with looking normal, but not TOO normal. Like how close is close enough to garner "I just had my dick in her mouth"??? He's overthinking this. Per usual. Typical Ben Solo. So when Rey and Han make a move to leave the cock pit, he stays behind for a bit-- checking things over and kind of fretting until Chewie trills at him, asking if he plans on following them.

And Han may not notice.

But Chewie already knows.

But Chewie also knew that Pandora's box was blasted wide open the second they took the girl on board, so he's not gonna make a huge fuss about it. Like. Y'all can have family drama, I'm just gonna try to make sure this ship doesn't fall apart in hyperspace.

So Ben is left to stand up on his own and make his way to the lounge ~~Save your father from the fourteen-year-old~~ and... the mood seems. Nice? This feels like a trap. But. Here they are. ]

You should tell her how you, Luke, and Chewbacca were almost eaten by Ewoks.

[ Han just looks INSULTED that his son would bring that up. Like HOW DARE HE????????? HE WAS TRYING TO IMPRESS THE 14 YEAR OLD.

Also ignore the way Ben is like. Looking around and trying to figure out where to sit. Next to Rey???? On seat across from Rey and Dad??? Just Stand?????? ]

[ For her part, Rey looks absolutely delighted by the prospect of Han, Luke, and Chewie almost getting eaten. Way too thrilled about cannibalism. Or what she assumes it cannibalism because she's guessing wwoks are a sentient race? But she's never heard of them, so — ]

Ewoks?

[ 'Native people on the moon.' ]

I didn't think there were people on Endor.

[ 'Well, they're not particularly smart, ewoks.' ]

Smart enough to take a bite out of you.

[ She looks up at Ben, grinning ear to ear. She realizes he's looking for a seat then. She scoots into the corner, snug up against Han to make room for Ben on the bench beside her. Welcome to hell. ]

[ She is the devil. He’s nearly convinced of it. But fuck it. He’s up for the challenge and his dad is eyeballing them like they’re just gonna make out in front of him. Like. Please dad. No. Only when you aren’t looking and after he’s brainwashed you.

Which he’s still. Feeling guilty about. Yikes. Jedi hell. This is what this is.

But he slides in next to her and makes himself comfortable. And by comfortable I mean sits more on the edge so he is not pressed against that teenage body. ]

They look a little like Chewie but are about this big.

[ holding up his hands to gesture the size of an average Ewok and.

I hope Rey is getting a ridiculous picture right now. Because that’s what it was.

Han shoots Ben A Look. Do not discuss how he was captured and almost eaten by teddy bears. It was for merchandising!!!!!!

‘You’re making me regret not naming you Wicket.’ ]

[ Rey doesn't scoot against him. She's kinder than that. Obviously, he needs some space to not think about the fact that his dick was in her mouth. Yes, she skims that surface thought — unknowingly, perhaps, but she skims it. To her it's just a guess of what he's probably thinking about to put that distance between them.

When she glances over to consider his ewok measurements, she lets her gaze linger on his, her tongue darting out to wet her lips before she looks back at Han. ]

I'm sure they were very scary. Sharp teeth?

[ And Han groans because he knows that's not at all true. Rey starts to laugh but Han interjects — 'Claws, alright? And back-up. Numbers mean a lot in guerrilla warfare.' ]

They sound very scary.

[ Her heel slides sideways, knocking her leg against Ben's. ]

[ oh to be young and not worry about where exactly you stuck your dick. Actually lbr. Ben was always a worry wart. The first time he jacked off he probably thought he was going to hell. Fortunately the talk of Ewoks is distracting his father from BLATANT FLIRTATION OF HER LEG KNOCKING INTO BENS. BLATANT. FLIRTATION. ]

Remind me how you were able to escape.

[ Han Solo is being ganged up on. This is unfair. He has the kindness in his heart to take in this kid (now Bens child bride) and SHE IS GANGING UP ON HIM. MAN HE SHOULDA WORN A CONDOM.

‘Have you ever heard of Bespin?’

That was the worst subject change known to man

And probably the reason han doesn’t notice Ben bumping Rey’s leg back. HE SEES YOU REY. DONT YOU START THIS FOOTSIE BULLSHIT. ]

Are you feeling it now, Mr. Tifa???????????????

CRIES LOUDLY MAKE IT STOP

wait. didn't it take three and a half days in the other au? IT TOOK TWO AND A HALF HERE SHIT

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

This is where DJ Kahled enters: YOU PLAYED YOURSELF

counter: it was oral it only half counts they still have time

True. And they didn't have sweaty Fighting time which is a different kind of virginity for them

exactly

Know I’m writing this in the toys section of wal Mart rn

a perfect place for child pornography

the disney princesses looked on like: At least it isn't us this time

save them

From their sexless existences? Gladly.

THEY NEED LIKE 5 YEARS OK 5 YEARS TO GROW

LOL. To be honest I really only did regular smut with Elsa. She's a BIKE

the burden of the only single disney princess

UP POPS A MASS OF RED CURLY HAIR "OCH! EXCUUUSE ME FOR HAVIN' SUITORS I DIDNAE CHOOSE!!!"

ALRIGHT FINE SECOND SINGLE PRINCESS

YOU MADE ME LOOK UP THIS SHIT FOR LUKES TEMPLE AS A PUNISHMENT

rescues you

U CAN'T SAVE ME FROM MYSELF

true but i can save you from luke's temple headcanons

Better start looking up names now.

go invent a whole planet nai

Look. I had to invent a world for Disney-academy. AU ALL OF DISNEY TO EXIST ALL AT ONCE IM DONE