Pretentious RP with Kylo page

[vaderstan]

Ben Solo
Kylo Ren

The protein shakes, where are they?

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Prompts&Wishlists&Ships

GENERAL PROMPTS

Redemption arc: Kylo leaving the First Order. Due to either slow burn reasons (Figuring out holy shit I don't want this) or Immediate Issues That Need Solving (Rey's kidnapped, Hux turns on him, etcetc)

Re-adjusting to life in the light/in the Resistance. Whether it goes smoothly or Rough is up to the situation

Early First Order Days. Especially when Snoke was breaking his Ben Solo identity

Ben Solo Pre-First Order

Ben Solo as the most obnoxious Resistance Member idek

Jedi Hippie camp with Luke

BEN AND HIS FAMILY

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

Becoming king of Porgs and other cute creatures and he doesn't understand why

Becoming his father's son

Also being just like his mother

AND ALSO BEING JUST LIKE LUKE

Rey convinces Kylo to come with her and join the Resistance. The resulting tension and rebuilding of trust in him... As well as Jedi training with her

Interactions with his mother, whether it be from the above scenario, or even reaching out through the force

Poe, Finn and the rest of the Resistance reacting to kylo switching sides. Poe hitting on Kylo and having to give him tons of dumb nicknames because Ren only wants his mom and Rey to call him ben

Kylo being a weird Scary Older Brother to the entire Resistance.

Kylo and Anakin. KYLO AND KENOBI

Discussions/threads with Han Luke and Leia- discussion forgiveness and mistakes

Rebuilding the Jedi Order

Post War Threads

Kylo Ren disappears mysteriously from the war after major internal strife causes the downfall of the First Order. Someone comes across Ben Solo in hiding years later

Kylo on Jakku complaining its hot as balls. Look. I don't know. I'm just saying it would be hilarious

Drunk texts are the best don't tell me otherwise

SHIPPY PROMPTS
SHIPS I AM DOWN FOR
Kylo/Rey hands down

If ur sittin there readin this going "Oh no but so many Reys are bugging them I don't wanna be annoying" I don't fucking care TAG ME

Hand touching

I love you. I know.

Forcebond shenanigans. Kylo or Rey reaching out to touch the other while the other one is busy (GOOD SHIT. GOOD SHIT)

Rey getting seriously injured and separated from the Resistance. Her only option is to force time Kylo

Kylo finding Rey on Ahch'to and them fucking around under luke's nose (Forcebond in person who knows)SMUT HUT

FORCEFULLY GIVING REY A BIRTHDAY AND MAKING HER CELEBRATE IT

Snoke tries to kill kylo in front of rey and it doesn't go like he plans

REY IN A GODDAMN DRESS AND KYLO ACTUALLY NOT KNOWING HOW TO REACT AT ALL

CLEANING HER DUMB HOUSE

Forcebond dreaming shenanigans. Especially if Rey or Kylo are stuck in one anothers nightmares.

Rey finding out how bad Snoke really was.

Visiting Ahch'to together

Empress Rey

Empress Rey Working to secretly undermine the first order

Meeting before TFA/in different circumstances

Fighting/sexual tension/beating each other up. u kno

Just re-enact Pride and Prejudice with me

Either one suffering from insomnia and helping the other sleep

Public Sex

Weird DubCon Sex (Rey taking advantage of Kylo I'm freely admitting to my trash)

SHIPS I AM MAYBE ON
Kylo/Poe: I'm not of the fanon that Ben or Poe knew each other as kids. If you want to play that, talk with me first, we'll need to hash out details. If you wanna do hateship, that's fine too. Again. I'd like to be consulted first
Kylo/Hux: This is such a huge maybe it's almost a no. I am not down for fluffy Kylo/Hux. I don't think Kylo or Hux secretly love each other and that takes form in them wanting to murder each other when they walk into a room and see each other. I do not think Kylo wants anything to do with Hux's dick Ever. I only see this happening as Hux taking advantage of Kylo when he's emotionally compromised and unprotected without Snoke keeping Hux in line.
So Kylux is only a "cool lets do it" if you are willing to play out something unhealthy, toxic, with a huge dose of hate and manipulation. Kylo/ANYONE ELSE: Not against pretty much any other ship, but Kylo's a hard dude to ship with for. A lot of reasons. Talk with me first, and I'll see if we can work something out.

CHARACTERS/CROSSOVERS

I'm fine with every and any star wars characters. If you are doing something from the EU I request that you just have enough info in your profile so I know what your character's deal is

AU characters are fine. I'm not really into Gender Bent characters (sorry y'all), again-- I just need info in your profile about the AU (Unless it's discussed w me before hand)

I Herald from disney princess beginnings. Give me all your princesses I think this combo is fucking hilarious

Brienne of Tarth because i'm still laughing about it

God I will add more later. Really just tag me.

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YES / NO / MAYBE

YES

text messages, actionspam, lengthy brackets, prose.

ous/ au/ all us tbh

previous meme or psl continuations / sequels / c&ping a starter i never replied to.

EMOTIONALLY HEAVY BULLSHIT

FLUFF

contact me if i drop a tag you want picked up

Angst

redemption arcs

intense emotionally heavy threads

Smut

general

hurt comfort

Kylo or Rey getting injured

Kylo being a huge fucking brat.

if there's anything you're not sure about, ask!

NO

Rape.

Dull RP.

Taking this character WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.

Me doing the work of moving a scene along

rape/non-con. Especially with Kylo as the aggressor (This can be changed with prior discussion and prior threading)

scatophilia, emetophiloa, necrophilia.

gender/sexuality play.

degradation involving racism or ablism.

power-gaming and ooc dick-measuring contests.

AUs with no information

OCs with no information

Maybe

Dub con

torture

killing

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Appearance

APPEARANCEINFOHERE

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Trigger warnings important info

Mental health

I know everyone and their mom with an armchair psychologist degree wants to diagnose Kylo Ren/Ben Solo with whatever mental illness checks all the boxes. I know Bipolar and Borderline personality disorder are two popular illnesses to cite when it comes to his mental health. Along with a healthy dose of citing him as a sociopath/psychopath. However, I'm not going to be using those illnesses/personality disorders in how I play Kylo. While they fit on paper, I don't believe "what's wrong with him" presents in the correct fashion in canon for any one of the above listed issues.

I believe Kylo Ren/Ben Solo is suffering from: Recurring Chronic Major Depression it could be passed down through their family given what we know of Anakin and what happened with Luke; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder From his force powers manifesting with him having little control over it as a kid, from being sent away to Luke after his mother couldn't handle him on her own anymore, from his father leaving one day and never coming back, from having a voice whispering in his head his entire life, from that voice being a predator who preyed on his weaknesses and molded him into what he wanted Ben to be, from Luke Skywalker holding a lightsaber above his head, from abuse after abuse from Snoke, and probably a Ton more. Abandonment issues stemming first from his parents (And quite probably friends he had who left for whatever reason, or bridges he burned on his own) and then just. The entire force tbh. And abandonment issues is where he gets his unchecked rage, he, in canon, is quite literally triggered into a rage whenever he confronts someone who he felt abandoned him, or when he feels rejected or left behind. Finally he is a victim of Brainwashing and indoctrination from Snoke. Snoke is a narcissist who was using Kylo as a means to an end, it's been stated and shown that he was ready to kill Kylo after the Last Jedi since he had become unbalanced and unpredictable. If you don't agree with what I am saying here (Which is fine :) ), then I suggest you don't play with me. I am fairly confident in this being the way I see and play Kylo.

I play him as having triggers. I won't get into the reasoning behind each one, but i'll specify the specifics which come to mind: Abandonment (Perceived or real), his family, loss of control (Physically, emotionally, mentally, through the force)

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Aesthetics

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player

name. naima age. 30 timezone. PST discord. nainai#8088 plurk. billnaisciguy code. tessisamess

Comments

[vaderstan]

[ It's... a while before he calms down, before the shaking stops. A lot longer than he'd ever wanted her to see. It nearly seems as if he stops a few times before some thought hits him side ways and he's sent spiraling again and by the time he's done his eyes hurt and he feels wiped clean.

But not like a slate or a dry erase board.

Not-- he feels like a paper that someone has written on and then erased something over and over and over until nothing else can be written there.

He's wrung dry and useless. He feels pathetic for feeling like this over what happened to him, even if it isn't about what happened to him directly. He can't even vocalize what's wrong he's too frightened and confused to speak directly about it.

Instead he keeps his grip on her-- still shivering as if he's cold and his voice sounds as if it's been through a garbage disposal. ]

I'm tired. [ The only thing he can rely upon right now. Maybe if he sleeps enough he'll wake up and things will be fine. His problems will be solved. ]

[purpose]

I know.

[ Vaguely, she knows. She can sense the fatigue in him, a bone-deep exhaustion that won't abate. More than that, she knows he must be, empathizes with it. He's been through so much that it would be impossible not to feel so weary, so beaten down.

She pulls away just enough to plant her lips against his forehead, a solid press of her lips to ensure he can feel her. To remind him she's still present, still watching over him, regardless of whether he decides he needs her or doesn't. In the meantime, she can help him find the strength she has seen inside him for herself. Standing, she latches onto his arms and tries to encourage him to get to his feet so she can carry him back to the bed. ]

Let's go to bed.

[ Fat chance she's going anywhere. She's going to cuddle the fuck out of him. ]

[vaderstan]

[ He nods weakly and feels guilty. An emotion that feels like poison to him. Reminds him of how weak he is. This is why he had left Luke's temple-- these emotions, this weakness. The only fortunate thing is this happened after Snoke's death. There's no one else to whisper into his ear and tell him how to feel, how to handle all of this.

But none of that changes the fact that they've barely been up an hour and he's already demanding to rest. She would waste her life on him, he can't imagine anyone deserves that fate.

Once he's up on his feet he follows her easily, if not still shaking. The fact that she's completely nude save for that blanket doesn't even register for him as he settles back down on the floor of the hut in their pile of blankets. Clothes are just... a moot point at this time.

Instead his mind has latched on to another idea ]

If you'd rather see your friends it's fine. [ His voice is quiet and drowsy as he lays back. He's rambling more than speaking at this point. Mouth too quick to speak and trying to find some way to make all of this up to her. ] I'll be fine.

[purpose]

Ben.

[ She interrupts, but he isn't listening. Well, he is — to himself, but not to her. He continues with I'll be fine, a reassurance that she thinks is hollow, meant to make her feel as though she owes him nothing. But she has never felt that way, has never felt obligated to him, regardless of whether he has the mental clarity to realize that for himself. ]

Ben. [ A repetition in the hope that it will command his attention, yank him out of his thoughts. As if silencing him before he can protest, she leans forward and closes her mouth over his, chaste and sweet. ] I want to be here with you.

[ Gathering the blanket he had abandoned, she tugs it down to throw over the both of them, curling closer into his side. ]

You're my friend, too.

[ More than that, if he'll have her. ]

[vaderstan]

[ The kiss, at the very least, manages to soothe him. If only a little. A dying need for contact and understanding. A want for him to belong somewhere. It manages to touch on all of those things. Once she pulls the blanket over the both of him her curls up ext to her, even in to her. Resting his head so his hair brushes against her sternum, draping a hand across her waist and pulling at her gently. ]

I don't understand why. [ A soft admittance. Still a bit manic, still sounding exhausted. But it's the truth. He's never held back from giving her that.

At the very least his mind is starting to calm. The waves are sliding over him rather than crashing into him at full strength. It's clear now why he'd asked her to help him sleep before.

He's so exhausted-- he just wants to sleep but his mind is still racing. He's only managing to calm it in small increments. ] You shouldn't have to tend to me.

[ His voice is softer still as the emotional crash continues to assault him and starts to wind down. ]

[purpose]

[ Because isn't the best defense, and what solid reasons she can find — she doesn't trust that he will absorb him, distraught and lost in his own thoughts as he is. And so she focuses solely on trying to calm him, uncaring that she's nude beneath the mess of blankets she's swaddled around the both of them, and cups the back of his skull as she urges him closer to her chest. That's where she keeps him, tucked against her sternum and close to the cadence of her heartbeat, hoping the gentle rhythm can convey what she can't. ]

Because I care about you. [ She says slowly, as though locating the words as she speaks them. Her fingers smooth through his hair. ] I don't need a reason to care about you, Ben.

[ It doesn't feel fair for him to doubt the truth of that. She hadn't demanded one from him when he had declared I love you so abruptly, even if she continues to struggle with his reasoning. More's to the point, she doesn't have a sufficient answer for him if he were to ask why. All she knows is that she does, regardless of whether anyone approves. ]

I don't have to do anything. [ Her nose nudges against his scalp as she tucks her mouth against the crown of his head. She doesn't have to do anything, but he is missing one vital piece of information. ] But I want to. You need to accept that.

[vaderstan]

[ Part of him accepts that, part of him doesn't. He's too split and harried to give her sentiment much thought-- not deep enough to comprehend it. Of course she cared for him. She came for him-- she came for him to help him even when he had done nothing to deserve it. To save him from Snoke? From himself?

He'd never thought to ask her, he never thought he'd have the chance to ask her. It hadn't been important at the time, all he had known is he wasn't alone and maybe, for once, he'd have someone at his side who cared for him. It'd all come crashing down, of course. And honestly, that was his own doing. She had feelings for someone he thought was dead and he was still trying to choke the life out of him.

And here he was-- being held in her arms and Kylo Ren had no place here... or anywhere else for that matter. He was broken and shattered and putting the fragments of himself together only gave him some distorted and unclear view of who he thought he was.

And yet she saw all of that and saw beauty.

He had to wonder what was wrong with him. His fingers dig into her skin and he presses his face closer to her chest and he can smell the water and the sea and her. Why couldn't he just accept that she wanted him as he was? Why could he only believe she wanted someone who was long dead? ] I love you.

[ It's murmured... Whispered into her heart beat. He knows she wanted him to wait until later but he doesn't know how else to say what he wants to say. There's too much there for him to find the words for. ]

I love you.

[ Here he finally begins to calm. His mind starts to slow and each thought doesn't send a shockwave of panic. A temporary peace-- a shift in the air-- ]

Do you hear him too? [ His voice sounds markedly more tired than before. His hold on her loosens-- ] Luke?

[ As if the name alone is enough to bring the Force alive he can feel himself slipping closer into unconsciousness. If he were any more coherent he'd feel insulted at his Uncle's energy working to soothe him into sleep, but for now he nearly welcomes it. ]

[purpose]

[ Her fingers slow where they drag through the disheveled mess of his hair, but she doesn't withdraw. ]

I believe you.

[ Tempted as she is to accept his conviction, murmur I know to console him, the truth is that she doesn't know. She had advised him to wait, and she still holds true to that desire. He is too muddled, too emotionally fraught, for her to accept that he won't come to regret the sentiment. Just moments ago, he had been pushing her away, distancing himself; it feels wrong to accept his confession when he's so overwrought, emotionally vulnerable.

Nevertheless, she doesn't sense any deception in it. More than that, she does believe that he believes that he loves her so ardently. That, for now, is all that matters.

As for the second half of what he's said, she takes longer to reply. She's silent for a pensive moment, eyebrows knitting as she nuzzles into the side of his temple. Her voice drops, aware he's getting closer and closer to drifting off, finally calmer. ]

Yes. [ So she isn't insane, then. ] I feel him. He's here.

[ As for hearing him, that's another issue. She hasn't; he hasn't appeared to her in that way, but he doesn't need to. She can sense him, and that brings its own peace. ]

adds more so u don't punch my mom

[vaderstan]

[ With that confirmation of what he's felt from the island his mind drifts. Finally letting go of the anxiety and panic and starting to float into sleep. In her arms, he was safe. He could start to believe that she wouldn't leave him, that he wouldn't have to be alone.

He murmurs one last time, something that sounds something like an apology before he's out again. ]

[ Once his mind eases-- his chest rises and falls in an even pattern-- once the ocean of his mind has stilled to nothingness-- long agonizing moments of him being pulled under-- the air will still again.

It's a bit like the bond, but completely different all at once. No tunneling silence. The world doesn't seem to fade to nothing. But a voice does ring out clearly.

'You know-- last time you were here, I seem to remember you were capable of wearing clothing.' ]

too late

[purpose]

[ She's relieved he hasn't begged her to slip into his mind and force him into a peaceful sleep. It had been a temporary balm, at best, the night previous; perhaps this serenity will be no different for him, but she has to have faith that it will wipe away some of his exhaustion, allow him to face the day renewed.

Dipping her chin, she watches him. A looming guardian, stroking absently through his hair. There are no threats to either of them here, but she feels better having him in her sights, and she has little doubt that Ben would feel the same. Even in his unconscious state, she won't leave him, lending him what comfort she can give if he should wake and reach for her.

Sliding downward somewhat, she moves to settle in next to him, and that's precisely when the air stirs around them. It isn't Ben. A curious glance at him confirms that for her. Her eyebrows knit, head turning, and then she sees the blue glow Luke Skywalker is casting against the side of the hut.

Red quickly pools in her cheeks. She scrambles to press the blanket closer to her chest, horrified at the idea of her former master and his uncle seeing her in the buff. ]

It's good to see you still know how to interrupt us.

[ She replies dryly, a bit indignant. For now, it overrides the awe of greeting him even when he's gone to the galaxy and to her, and the relief of knowing he continues to watch over the both of them. ]

You've been watching over him.

[ It isn't a question. Given what Ben has said, the validation of what they had both felt, she's sure of that now. ]

U DIE

[vaderstan]

[ Luke gives a smile that speaks to both adoration-- and a touch of exasperation. Kylo and Rey had proven again and again how every worst fear he had about their union was spot on. Fortunately-- Rey had also proven another theory of Luke Skywalker's. That they light could never truly be snuffed out in any person.

'You could call it making up for lost time.'

He'd failed his nephew time and time again. He should have been the one to empathize with him the most and-- he squandered that trust in a moment of fear.

'How are you, Rey?'

And despite all his sass he means it when he asks. ]

are you channeling your inner kylo ren

[purpose]

[ At that, her mouth purses. Making up for lost time, indeed. Luke Skywalker has made his mistakes, but there is something to be said for his attempts to redeem himself. Even in the afterlife, he continues to make amends, and Rey won't begrudge them that. ]

I don't know what to do. [ She admits, finally. There is no point in insisting she's 'fine', or relaying that she's exhausted in every sense of the world. The former isn't true, and the latter is obvious in the bags blossoming beneath her eyes; fatigued doesn't begin to cover it when she feels as useless as she does, unable to provide any true help to Ben when he clearly needs her. ] There's nothing I can do.

[ Aside from be here, aside from simply existing, but that doesn't feel like it's enough. Nothing feels like it's enough. ]

uh i am kylo duh also have some fanfic

[vaderstan]

[ There's a sigh here. Heavy and burdened. All that had happened to his nephew-- he hadn't deserved, Luke knew that whole-heartedly. The moment he had made that mistake and had condemned him to his fate, he had seen that he'd given him a sentence that may be too much to bear. It had been too much for his father, certainly, and now--

Well, none of it was good, but this seemed so much worse than anything he could have seen.

Not the act, no. But the way it took his conflict and blown it wide. A chasm where he couldn't comfortably rest on either side and the middle was so gaping wide he'd fall straight through.

There would be no peace in him for a while.

'You're right,' He finally speaks. 'There's nothing you can do.'

How helpful. Unfortunately, it's the truth. There's no pill or power that the Force can offer her to undo this, to restore him to the boy he had been before Snoke had slipped into his mind, before he had killed his father, before he took the title of Supreme Leader, or what had happened just a few nights prior. And that could offer some comfort, but it would only be brief. Fleeting.

Luke knew very well the pain of being unable to do nothing. Of sitting back and watching mistakes others had made play out-- things you had contributed to, knowingly or otherwise.

He'll step forward then, casting a blue light across the hut... wondering how Obi Wan or Yoda felt when giving him advice. Did they know what they were doing more than he did? Even with Master Yoda's considerable age on him, he can't imagine they knew much more. They were all faking it.

He brushes a hand over his nephews head, something he'd done when he was much younger. Mussing his hair, exposing his large ears-- the shouts and giggles of a happy youth were a long distant memory. Right now, all he can feel is pain and uncertainty.

'It's obvious, you know,' Luke rights himself then and looks straight to Rey. 'I knew he had feelings for you the moment I saw you together in this hut.'

And maybe there lay Rey's answer. At least in part.

'I was just too scared to consider that option.'

It was easier to believe Ben Solo had died with his father. That he was lost and his own predictions for his fate had been painfully correct. Instead of the truth of the matter which was even after what he had been through, after time and the light and the dark had tested his nephew-- that he still loved and cared and wanted for the light. Something Luke had failed in offering him. ]

fanfics are my fave. unlike my cat trying to walk on my laptop during tags

[purpose]

[ How helpful. Crestfallen, she glances away and toward Ben's mop of hair, like an answer they may have missed exists there. Where she had expected Luke's guidance, some Jedi wisdom that she is sorely lacking, she has — nothing. No viable solution that presents itself. There must be something, she tells herself. Something. ]

You were wrong about him.

[ Because there is still hope in him, after all, as Luke has all but admitted. And as fervently as she would hope Luke is wrong about this, too, she knows with dreadful certainty that he isn't. Her lips part with an inaudible sigh, settling her hand atop Ben's as he carries on, unaware of the conversation occurring right in front of him. ]

But his feelings for me — [ Whatever they are. Luke insists that it had been so clear to even him, but Rey still factors in the possibility that Ben is — well, lost. Mistaking feelings of gratitude and amiability toward her for love. ] — will only make this worse.

[ Not for her, but for him. As Luke has pointed out, she can't do anything. ]

Same tho

[vaderstan]

[ He gives her a look. One that should be infuriating because it's between a squint and some knowing glance that just says he sees something that should be obvious.

'I guess it's your turn to be wrong,' He feels he deserves that given he was Wrong about the biggest issue here. 'His love for you will help guide him.'

And he states love firmly. Like it's not up for debate. For Luke it isn't. She may be unsure, but he's known Ben since he was in diapers and that look was hard to mistake for anything else.

'What he needs is something neither of us can give him,' He stands to his full height and here is that Jedi Wisdom Rey was waiting for. 'Time.'

Time to heal. Time to cry and shout and-- just be himself... for lack of a better phrasing. Looking back it was obvious to see the mistakes he, Han, and Leia had all made with Ben. They had all tried to shove him in boxes he didn't fit in. Make him be who they wanted him to be instead of just accepting him as he was. Maybe if he had known this when Ben had come to him, maybe he would have stood a fighting chance.

'Be patient,' He urges Rey. 'And don't be afraid of him-- or what's to come.'

That comes from a place of experience. He had been afraid and too willful to admit it to himself until it was too late. As if Luke Skywalker was above fear.

'And you should tell my sister what's going on sooner than later--' He interjects to add that because-- 'Trust me, kid. She's probably tearing apart Threepio from worry right now.'

It was worse not knowing, after all. All Leia has is her own imagination and-- given what she'd been through she could imagine a lot.


Perhaps nothing could compare to what actually happened, but at the very least she could come to terms with it. ]

is horatio back at it again

[purpose]

I'm not afraid of him.

[ Of what's to come, yes, she won't deny that. More than that, she is afraid for him. A counterproductive fear, perhaps, given that there is a wisdom to Skywalker's advice. All she can provide Ben is time, though she is loathe to imagine what that will entail when she has no other choice but to leave, to return to a war that is now more chaotic than ever with the power vacuum that has been created in the First Order — to say nothing of the Resistance's growing efforts.

As for the rest of it, only time can tell if Ben's feelings remain as they are. If he discerns them as love, or if it something less than what he had construed it to be. She hopes for the former but has prepared herself for the latter. No one has ever been capable of loving her, after all, and she has too many self-preservation instincts to not consider that possibility. ]

She deserves to hear it in person. [ Rey reasons. She isn't unsympathetic to Leia's concern, though she had wanted to assuage the worry with her assurances that Ben is safe. But it would be a disservice, to Ben and Leia both, to relay it over comlink frequencies when communications can be intercepted. It's the right decision, she thinks, and stands firm in that. ] I've already discussed it with Ben.

[ For another moment, she's quiet, contemplative. ]

Watch him while I'm away.

[ It's the only compromise she can make. She can't stay, and she does not want to leave, having a duty to both the Resistance and Ben. But Luke — Luke can watch over him, ensure that he is safe. ]

Athena and horatio. double trouble

[vaderstan]

[ His look softens then. Glad to see her take some of his advice to heart. He'd tell Leia himself but-- This isn't something he should have been privy to at all. It wasn't his place. And Rey would probably find a way to bring him back to life just to kill him again.

Honestly, she was a fine woman for his nephew to fall for in that respect.

'I've got no where else to be,' He has to continue to sass her. That's what sustains him in this form.

He can hear the Force call for him, begging him to come back. It's call is like a siren. Beckoning him to become one with the very thing he had curved to his will in life.

'It's okay to let him fall apart, Rey,' One last piece of advice, he's gotta, he's a jedi knight after all. 'He's being strong for your sake right now. But sometimes the best way to heal is to break apart.'


Which he hadn't let himself or Ben do. He'd always tried his hardest and after a certain age kept a facade of impassive apathy. He had felt it was the dark claiming him. Taking his emotions nd turning him into Kylo Ren.

But now it made just as much sense that he was trying to hide and bury how frightened he was. How much he wanted to break apart and ask the world why he was like this. ]

they're team rocket

[purpose]

[ That genuine piece of advice has, at the very least, spared him from receiving A Look at his typical sass. ]

I know.

[ Hadn't she encouraged the same from Ben? Presented herself as a pillar of support where she could? Faintly, she wonders if she hadn't, if she had been less than direct in inviting him to fall apart.

It's difficult to witness, regardless, and to grapple with the knowledge that there is nothing she can do to fix it for him. If only it were that simple, that straightforward. Pensive, she frowns down at Ben's pensive form, smoothing unruly strands away from his forehead. ]

He just needs time.

[ For Luke, she repeats it as a reassurance. For herself, she echoes the sentiment like she is trying to absorb it, fully grasp it. Time. That, at least, she can give him. ]

oh my god does that make me wubbafet?

[vaderstan]

[ Luke gives her a look, lingering and considering. She really was a lot like him when he was her age. Perhaps she could succeed where he failed. Find the balance and keep steady.

He hoped she could, for her sake. For Ben's sake.

Another glance to his nephew-- He looked older and just the same.

'You'll do fine, Rey,' He assures her softly... then thinks better on that response. Shaking his head. 'You're doing more than fine now.'

And with that, he's gone. Because that's how fucking force ghosts work. gg. ]

meowth that's right. also throws a minor timeskip in here

[purpose]

[ More than fine. She doesn't feel like she's doing more than fine, but when she turns from Ben to admit as much to Luke's specter, he's vanished. At the very least, she has gotten an answer in the meantime. Time.

Luke's voice echoes in her mind while she mulls it over in her head. In the end, it's a vain attempt to suss out a possible solution where one doesn't exist, and an effort that lasts well into the night — and then some. By the time she has exhausted herself into sleeping, curled around Ben like a protective shield, the sun has already begun to peek through the hut's overhead window.

Even so, she wakes before he does, restive and unsettled. The pattern continues for the next few nights; she hovers at his side throughout the day, and winds around him during the night, when they've both miraculously quieted their minds. For the most part, she has done what she can: replaced some of their rations with what she could spear out of the sea, collected her own share of wood for their fire pit, collected what bedding they can spare from the Falcon to make him more comfortable.

It won't help much, she knows, but it's all she can do.

On this particular morning, she waits for him to stir. And only when he appears relatively alert and awake does she brush her thumb over the slant of his cheekbone, clutching her datapad in her other hand. Or what's soon to be his datapad, anyway. ]

I brought you something.

[ What she doesn't add is that it's a tool for him too contact her when she's called back to the Resistance, and a means to entertain himself while she is away from him. The texts she's downloaded onto it are... well, vast, uncertain of what he would even appreciate — and the HoloNet is easily accessible, should he choose to use it. ]

Wow how dare you. Gives you Lyme disease in retaliation.

[vaderstan]

[ Each morning he wakes slowly. Lazily. She seems to give him space to do that— as do the Lanai. He wonders if they noticed his unease or if Rey warded them off. And at this moment he doesn’t care much either way. He’s been a bit skittish to try intimate contact again, scared of her rejection... or maybe her judgement. He’s not sure. Each day has felt like existence rather than actual living.

His purpose ripped away from him, his soul stripped bare. The only thing that keeps him grounded is Rey’s constant presence. And he feels all the more selfish for it. Others need her. The entire fucking galaxy needs her. And she’s playing baby sitter to Kylo Ren.

He couldn’t imagine he held that much importance.

This morning is much the same as the others. His mind blissfully blank— he really only stirred because of Rey’s movements.

He sits up on his elbows, today dressed in his armor because unfortunately. They don’t have that many clothing options. But it’s fine. It’s familiar.

He reaches out to pluck the datapad from her hands and examines it closely. There’s a flicker of fondness there before his expression falls flat again. ]

Thank you.

[ granted. If she’s giving him a gift, he has a nagging feeling bad news is about to follow it. ]

if i was contagious i would fly there just to get my contagion in your house as revenge

[purpose]

[ Soon, she'll have to board the Falcon and navigate her way back to the Resistance, but she refuses to count down the days for him. Refuses to remind him that they're approaching that day, that she has set him up with something to occupy him during that stretch of separation. Maybe the datapad will be indication enough, but she pointedly avoids that topic of conversation for the moment. He had reacted so poorly the previous time that she can't quite bring herself to charge ahead with the information as she otherwise would. ]

I didn't know what you would like.

[ She admits, suddenly aware about how much insight she lacks and made uncomfortable by the revelation. They have spent days together, reached for one another across galaxies and star systems, but she lacks those small details in the portrait of who Ben Solo is. She looks to him, then, scrutinizing his face. That brief glance of fondness is enough to satisfy her, assure her that she hadn't made the wrong decision, but the fall of his expression afterward unsettles her.

Rather than allow herself to be hurt by it, she settles back down, pushes herself between him and the datapad like an annoyingly affectionate cat. ]

There's a little bit of everything on it.

[ With a swipe of her finger across the screen, she brushes through a book. Some kind of historical text that predates the Resistance and the First Order, even the Rebellion and the Empire. ]

I thought you might enjoy that more than catching our meals.

[ Easy as it is to live off of the land, and peaceful as it is, she is entirely aware there is not much to do in the way of productivity without attuning one's self to the Force. And, given Ben's current state, that doesn't seem to be the wisest route to take or to suggest. ]

I have three million cats. Just bring ur cats ticks. Also if u came i'd force cats upon u

[vaderstan]

[ Expressions other than nothing, rage, and crying are difficult for him rey gosh. But he'll glance through what she shows him and accept the invasion of space. A part of him wants to lean in and kiss her, but a larger part is pretty sure she'll just flat out reject him or get edgy about it or get really critical and analytical about it and

This is his life now. A series of being super super unsure about a lot of things because of how off balance he feels.

He sets his hand over hers gently. ]

It's good. I'll find something I enjoy.

[ That's what he can give her for now.



Okay but. One thing has been bothering him ]

Isn't there Jedi texts on this island?

[ He doesn't know Rey stole them.


Or that Luke tried to burn them to the ground.

Like he's puttered around enough to see that there was a huge Important looking tree that got burnt to shit, but--


He doesn't know about drunk yoda or angry luke or Any of that yet. ]

i'll run away with horatio and athena and that fluffy ginger one

[purpose]

[ When his hand envelops her own, she twists her wrist around to slide their fingers together and squeezes lightly. Much as she means it to be an expression of relief, it serves a dual purpose — in reassuring herself, mostly. While she's avoided initiating any affection beyond that, too innocent and too chaste to progress or possibly cause discomfort, it's still satisfying to have that connection. ]

There were.

[ She tells him after a drawn-out pause. Luke had wanted the Jedi destroyed, but she has preserved those. Admittedly, they've done her little good; the texts are so dense that she struggles, filled with unfamiliar concepts she must parse. It's a work in the progress, slowly but surely, given her determination. At least there is some progress, at any rate. ]

They're being stored on the Falcon, now.

Horatio will run from u. If u touch athena ull create a paradox since ure athena. U can take fluffy

[vaderstan]

[ --That was a significant pause he catches on to. He turns his gaze on to her and is like "uh huh okay wtf u bullshittin about tho" ]

Does Luke know you took the texts?