Pretentious RP with Kylo page

[vaderstan]

Ben Solo
Kylo Ren

The protein shakes, where are they?

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Prompts&Wishlists&Ships

GENERAL PROMPTS

Redemption arc: Kylo leaving the First Order. Due to either slow burn reasons (Figuring out holy shit I don't want this) or Immediate Issues That Need Solving (Rey's kidnapped, Hux turns on him, etcetc)

Re-adjusting to life in the light/in the Resistance. Whether it goes smoothly or Rough is up to the situation

Early First Order Days. Especially when Snoke was breaking his Ben Solo identity

Ben Solo Pre-First Order

Ben Solo as the most obnoxious Resistance Member idek

Jedi Hippie camp with Luke

BEN AND HIS FAMILY

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

Becoming king of Porgs and other cute creatures and he doesn't understand why

Becoming his father's son

Also being just like his mother

AND ALSO BEING JUST LIKE LUKE

Rey convinces Kylo to come with her and join the Resistance. The resulting tension and rebuilding of trust in him... As well as Jedi training with her

Interactions with his mother, whether it be from the above scenario, or even reaching out through the force

Poe, Finn and the rest of the Resistance reacting to kylo switching sides. Poe hitting on Kylo and having to give him tons of dumb nicknames because Ren only wants his mom and Rey to call him ben

Kylo being a weird Scary Older Brother to the entire Resistance.

Kylo and Anakin. KYLO AND KENOBI

Discussions/threads with Han Luke and Leia- discussion forgiveness and mistakes

Rebuilding the Jedi Order

Post War Threads

Kylo Ren disappears mysteriously from the war after major internal strife causes the downfall of the First Order. Someone comes across Ben Solo in hiding years later

Kylo on Jakku complaining its hot as balls. Look. I don't know. I'm just saying it would be hilarious

Drunk texts are the best don't tell me otherwise

SHIPPY PROMPTS
SHIPS I AM DOWN FOR
Kylo/Rey hands down

If ur sittin there readin this going "Oh no but so many Reys are bugging them I don't wanna be annoying" I don't fucking care TAG ME

Hand touching

I love you. I know.

Forcebond shenanigans. Kylo or Rey reaching out to touch the other while the other one is busy (GOOD SHIT. GOOD SHIT)

Rey getting seriously injured and separated from the Resistance. Her only option is to force time Kylo

Kylo finding Rey on Ahch'to and them fucking around under luke's nose (Forcebond in person who knows)SMUT HUT

FORCEFULLY GIVING REY A BIRTHDAY AND MAKING HER CELEBRATE IT

Snoke tries to kill kylo in front of rey and it doesn't go like he plans

REY IN A GODDAMN DRESS AND KYLO ACTUALLY NOT KNOWING HOW TO REACT AT ALL

CLEANING HER DUMB HOUSE

Forcebond dreaming shenanigans. Especially if Rey or Kylo are stuck in one anothers nightmares.

Rey finding out how bad Snoke really was.

Visiting Ahch'to together

Empress Rey

Empress Rey Working to secretly undermine the first order

Meeting before TFA/in different circumstances

Fighting/sexual tension/beating each other up. u kno

Just re-enact Pride and Prejudice with me

Either one suffering from insomnia and helping the other sleep

Public Sex

Weird DubCon Sex (Rey taking advantage of Kylo I'm freely admitting to my trash)

SHIPS I AM MAYBE ON
Kylo/Poe: I'm not of the fanon that Ben or Poe knew each other as kids. If you want to play that, talk with me first, we'll need to hash out details. If you wanna do hateship, that's fine too. Again. I'd like to be consulted first
Kylo/Hux: This is such a huge maybe it's almost a no. I am not down for fluffy Kylo/Hux. I don't think Kylo or Hux secretly love each other and that takes form in them wanting to murder each other when they walk into a room and see each other. I do not think Kylo wants anything to do with Hux's dick Ever. I only see this happening as Hux taking advantage of Kylo when he's emotionally compromised and unprotected without Snoke keeping Hux in line.
So Kylux is only a "cool lets do it" if you are willing to play out something unhealthy, toxic, with a huge dose of hate and manipulation. Kylo/ANYONE ELSE: Not against pretty much any other ship, but Kylo's a hard dude to ship with for. A lot of reasons. Talk with me first, and I'll see if we can work something out.

CHARACTERS/CROSSOVERS

I'm fine with every and any star wars characters. If you are doing something from the EU I request that you just have enough info in your profile so I know what your character's deal is

AU characters are fine. I'm not really into Gender Bent characters (sorry y'all), again-- I just need info in your profile about the AU (Unless it's discussed w me before hand)

I Herald from disney princess beginnings. Give me all your princesses I think this combo is fucking hilarious

Brienne of Tarth because i'm still laughing about it

God I will add more later. Really just tag me.

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YES / NO / MAYBE

YES

text messages, actionspam, lengthy brackets, prose.

ous/ au/ all us tbh

previous meme or psl continuations / sequels / c&ping a starter i never replied to.

EMOTIONALLY HEAVY BULLSHIT

FLUFF

contact me if i drop a tag you want picked up

Angst

redemption arcs

intense emotionally heavy threads

Smut

general

hurt comfort

Kylo or Rey getting injured

Kylo being a huge fucking brat.

if there's anything you're not sure about, ask!

NO

Rape.

Dull RP.

Taking this character WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.

Me doing the work of moving a scene along

rape/non-con. Especially with Kylo as the aggressor (This can be changed with prior discussion and prior threading)

scatophilia, emetophiloa, necrophilia.

gender/sexuality play.

degradation involving racism or ablism.

power-gaming and ooc dick-measuring contests.

AUs with no information

OCs with no information

Maybe

Dub con

torture

killing

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Appearance

APPEARANCEINFOHERE

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Trigger warnings important info

Mental health

I know everyone and their mom with an armchair psychologist degree wants to diagnose Kylo Ren/Ben Solo with whatever mental illness checks all the boxes. I know Bipolar and Borderline personality disorder are two popular illnesses to cite when it comes to his mental health. Along with a healthy dose of citing him as a sociopath/psychopath. However, I'm not going to be using those illnesses/personality disorders in how I play Kylo. While they fit on paper, I don't believe "what's wrong with him" presents in the correct fashion in canon for any one of the above listed issues.

I believe Kylo Ren/Ben Solo is suffering from: Recurring Chronic Major Depression it could be passed down through their family given what we know of Anakin and what happened with Luke; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder From his force powers manifesting with him having little control over it as a kid, from being sent away to Luke after his mother couldn't handle him on her own anymore, from his father leaving one day and never coming back, from having a voice whispering in his head his entire life, from that voice being a predator who preyed on his weaknesses and molded him into what he wanted Ben to be, from Luke Skywalker holding a lightsaber above his head, from abuse after abuse from Snoke, and probably a Ton more. Abandonment issues stemming first from his parents (And quite probably friends he had who left for whatever reason, or bridges he burned on his own) and then just. The entire force tbh. And abandonment issues is where he gets his unchecked rage, he, in canon, is quite literally triggered into a rage whenever he confronts someone who he felt abandoned him, or when he feels rejected or left behind. Finally he is a victim of Brainwashing and indoctrination from Snoke. Snoke is a narcissist who was using Kylo as a means to an end, it's been stated and shown that he was ready to kill Kylo after the Last Jedi since he had become unbalanced and unpredictable. If you don't agree with what I am saying here (Which is fine :) ), then I suggest you don't play with me. I am fairly confident in this being the way I see and play Kylo.

I play him as having triggers. I won't get into the reasoning behind each one, but i'll specify the specifics which come to mind: Abandonment (Perceived or real), his family, loss of control (Physically, emotionally, mentally, through the force)

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Aesthetics

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player

name. naima age. 30 timezone. PST discord. nainai#8088 plurk. billnaisciguy code. tessisamess

Comments

🙃

[purpose]

[ The lack of denial speaks for itself. She knows what she had been hoping for — a confirmation that this had meant anything to him, reassurance that she will be missed in the days she's away from him. Ben provides her with neither, only insists she should keep her best interests in mind, as though he has become an expert in what is best for her.

It rankles. Beneath that, however, it hurts more than any physical injury she's received. Still, relying on her indignation and her anger is simpler, more straightforward. She knows how to cope with it. Her sorrow is a more complicated beast. ]

I have been. [ And, more importantly: ] You don't have any right to decide what's best for me.

[ Her teeth gnash when she snaps out that defensive, prickly reply. The moisture that burns in her eyes is equally a product of frustration as it is grief, feeling like she's in the process of having something taken from her. Losing him, and being forced to watch as he can barely look her in the eye to inform her of his decision.

In the end, his promise is a lie. He can't wait for her if he is already gone. ]

kill us. i blame horatio

[vaderstan]

[ Ah. This is familiar. He recognizes this. For his part he stays quiet, letting her anger wash over him and accepting this for what it was. A consequence of thinking he could ever be normal. Or wanted. Or anything more than-- whatever he was now. ]

I'm not-- [ He catches himself before he finishes that sentence. A sigh crossing his lips as he tries to figure out how to handle this mess he's made. ] I apologize.

[ For being pathetic and weak and not enough and surely she won't mistake that for being sorry about leading her on. Like they should just fUCKING TALK TO ONE ANOTHER. This is some buuuuuuuuuuulllshit.

He'll stand up and pull the blanket from his shoulders. Thinking for a moment before deciding to not breach her boundaries and slip it around her shoulders, he opts to fold it and set it next to her on the cot. ] I'm going to get some air.

[ get harassed by fish nuns ]

it's always horatio's fault honestly. he's a mess

[purpose]

[ For what? she nearly asks, and then decides the answer is likely one she doesn't want to hear. If she doesn't invite it, she won't have to acknowledge with any finality that he's done with her. She stays silent, instead, unsure of what she can possibly say. Reminding him of his importance to her has not been reciprocated; promising to return has not been met with any yearning, or any parting word that he would want her to come back to him. It feels futile, standing in front of him and crumbling as he remains tall and unaffected — by her, by the conversation, by any of it.

It's only when she realizes he means to take his leave of her that she panics, throat tight. She swallows harshly around the sudden stone lodged into her throat, expression twisting with clear, watery dismay. Rationally, it's only a moment of respite to get fresh air for himself, but — for Rey — it feels like abandonment, fleeing from her emotions in the hope of not having to confront them. ]

No. [ That single syllable cracks in her throat, desperate and reduced to pleading as her last resort. Despite the urgency to it, she still has the decency to keep her hands to herself, refusing to latch onto his wrist and lock them together. She can't force him to stay, as much as it pains her to recognize. ] Don't leave.

ready to roll him right off the world tbh

[vaderstan]

[ He pauses in the small doorway at the sound of her voice. On the edge of a breakdown-- he could tell. He could tell and he wish he couldn't. He'd heard her desperate like this far too many times to not recognize it.

He's just not sure what to do with it. With her. With these feelings. With any of it.

He runs his fingers across his hands and doesn't speak, doesn't face her. He's afraid of what he may see in her-- and what she'd see in him. ]

roll him off of the world for refusing to be pet when he's outside

[purpose]

[ He stops, but he doesn't move, nonreactive. Part of her braces herself for the moment he walks out without another word, another glance. The other part to her wonders if it's strictly guilt that keeps him from moving beyond the threshold. Perhaps he feels obligated due to the nature of their connection. Perhaps he feels he's to blame for giving her the wrong impression, stringing her along when he'd wanted nothing more than momentary comfort. Perhaps —

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Whatever his reasoning, he exacerbates the frenetic energy to her with his inaction. Uncertain of what to do or what to say to convince him to stay, she scrambles for... something. Anything. ]

Please. [ She tries again, mouth dry from dread. ] Don't leave me.

He is a black hole, just like kylo rn

[vaderstan]

[ His fingers stay braced on the frame, he can feel the Force moving around them both-- nearly suffocating. This must have been why Luke cut himself off from it. He feels the conflict and discontent rise in him like a tide. Cry out his name and beg to be resolved.

His chest squeezes, he can't properly catch his breath. He presses his weight into the frame more, suddenly feeling dizzy ]

I'm nothing, Rey. [ perhaps that's what he's coming to terms with.] I'm no one.

[ He'd vanished so easily out of this war. She was still needed. Why waste time with him? ]

athena is also a black hole but instead she's one of pure evil

[purpose]

That's not true.

[ Not to me, she almost says, but it draws too close a parallel to what he had once told her. The symmetry disturbs her; she had left him standing there with a hand outstretched, lips trembling with a plea, and now she risks suffering the same fate.

It's different, she tells herself, but they would still fall apart just the same. Just as they had then. Worse than that moment, maybe, now that they've become so much more to one another. Now that there's hope for them. Now that they aren't divided by separate sides of a war.

Suddenly, she stands, but she doesn't approach him where he's begun to brace himself against the frame of the door. He'll come to her, should he decide that's what he wants; crowding his space, cornering him into remaining with her, isn't what she wants to accomplish. ]

You're everything to me, Ben.

[ And she refuses to budge on that, declaring it with such conviction that her voice trembles with it. ]

Looks at tag and throws hands in air

[vaderstan]

[ if it weren’t for the bond he could write it off as a pretty lie. Something she says out of pity for the poor broken boy she sees him as— and not the man beyond hope he is. But her certainty rings through him clear as a bell. Reverberating off of his soul, plucking at every string.

Somehow, that’s what breaks the dam this time. That in this moment she’s so certain of what she wants and the entire galaxy has fallen away to mush in front of him. He takes a shaking breath, trying to answer her or walk away before the current sweeps him away, but by the time that thought hits it’s already too late.

His legs buckle under him, his nails blunt and trim scrap against the rock and kick up dust in their wake. He’s on his knees and sobbing.

A near out of body experience, he keeps telling himself he had no reason to cry. That he’s pathetic and he needs to get over it. All of it. He’d caused so much harm. He’d hurt so many people. He’d killed his father— and here he was crying like a child for their mother.

Honestly maybe that’s what’s done it. Hearing Luke, feeling his mother so close—
The weight of everything tosses him into discord. Taking away any balance he had left. ]

everyone is having breakdowns in star wars

[purpose]

[ He crumbles too quickly for her to catch him. There is nothing soothing in this display, a broken man shattering on the floor of a dirty hut and grappling for balance, but — selfishly — it brings her relief. A bare flicker of relief, but relief all the same. This, in front of her, is the real Ben Solo. Not the emotionless carbon copy that had been echoing hollow statements, faraway and distant.

Instead, he is just as human as she had thought, abandoning the mask and pretenses. She doesn't linger on the thought for very long. Despite what he has said — or what he hasn't said in the spaces between, more aptly — he needs her. It's written all over him as he's wracked with sobs. Rey's attempts at consoling and comforting come automatically, this time. Rushing to his side, she pulls him into her embrace tightly, cupping the back of his head gently. ]

I've got you. [ She reminds him, quietly. ] I'm here.

[vaderstan]

[ He hardly registers her there at first. His mind is too loud, a cacophony of guilt and self hatred and worthlessness which bubbles over and consumes him.

His arms wrap around her and hold her against him tightly. Really almost too tightly given her size. But she is his only anchor. The only thing holding him and preventing him from bashing against the cliff face of his own emotions and this current reality. Of course he needed her. He needed her and it made him feel weak and selfish. He was that child who waiting in the living room all night for his mother to return from work-- or for the barest chance that his father would come home this night.

His head is buried into her shoulder and he tries to stay focused on her, her warmth, her scent, the sound of her voice-- anything to calm the torrent of emotion that had just been unleashed. But for now... for now he needed release. He needed her. He had nothing else but her. ]

[purpose]

[ It's painful. And not just physically, either. The uproar in his head screeches into her mind, blaring like a klaxon. Rey winces, but doesn't withdraw herself from the center of their bond, unwilling to distance herself when he's in such great need of her. I'm here, she'd reassured him; that isn't a promise she has any intention of breaking, even if it carries the risk of a feeling as though her skull is splintering from the overflowing emotional discord.

Repeating that she won't be leaving for a week, possibly two, to resume her duties doesn't seem as though it will help. Even a scavenger like Rey has more tact than that. And so she keeps that faltering attempt at reassurance to herself, uncertain of how to proceed other than just grappling at him, presenting him with a firm and tangible reminder that she's there.

Her arms wind around him, turning tighter at the behest of his own, as her fingers skate up the notches in his spine. Angling her head to the side, she nuzzles into his hair, puffing out quiet breaths that rustle the strands. ]

[vaderstan]

[ It's... a while before he calms down, before the shaking stops. A lot longer than he'd ever wanted her to see. It nearly seems as if he stops a few times before some thought hits him side ways and he's sent spiraling again and by the time he's done his eyes hurt and he feels wiped clean.

But not like a slate or a dry erase board.

Not-- he feels like a paper that someone has written on and then erased something over and over and over until nothing else can be written there.

He's wrung dry and useless. He feels pathetic for feeling like this over what happened to him, even if it isn't about what happened to him directly. He can't even vocalize what's wrong he's too frightened and confused to speak directly about it.

Instead he keeps his grip on her-- still shivering as if he's cold and his voice sounds as if it's been through a garbage disposal. ]

I'm tired. [ The only thing he can rely upon right now. Maybe if he sleeps enough he'll wake up and things will be fine. His problems will be solved. ]

[purpose]

I know.

[ Vaguely, she knows. She can sense the fatigue in him, a bone-deep exhaustion that won't abate. More than that, she knows he must be, empathizes with it. He's been through so much that it would be impossible not to feel so weary, so beaten down.

She pulls away just enough to plant her lips against his forehead, a solid press of her lips to ensure he can feel her. To remind him she's still present, still watching over him, regardless of whether he decides he needs her or doesn't. In the meantime, she can help him find the strength she has seen inside him for herself. Standing, she latches onto his arms and tries to encourage him to get to his feet so she can carry him back to the bed. ]

Let's go to bed.

[ Fat chance she's going anywhere. She's going to cuddle the fuck out of him. ]

[vaderstan]

[ He nods weakly and feels guilty. An emotion that feels like poison to him. Reminds him of how weak he is. This is why he had left Luke's temple-- these emotions, this weakness. The only fortunate thing is this happened after Snoke's death. There's no one else to whisper into his ear and tell him how to feel, how to handle all of this.

But none of that changes the fact that they've barely been up an hour and he's already demanding to rest. She would waste her life on him, he can't imagine anyone deserves that fate.

Once he's up on his feet he follows her easily, if not still shaking. The fact that she's completely nude save for that blanket doesn't even register for him as he settles back down on the floor of the hut in their pile of blankets. Clothes are just... a moot point at this time.

Instead his mind has latched on to another idea ]

If you'd rather see your friends it's fine. [ His voice is quiet and drowsy as he lays back. He's rambling more than speaking at this point. Mouth too quick to speak and trying to find some way to make all of this up to her. ] I'll be fine.

[purpose]

Ben.

[ She interrupts, but he isn't listening. Well, he is — to himself, but not to her. He continues with I'll be fine, a reassurance that she thinks is hollow, meant to make her feel as though she owes him nothing. But she has never felt that way, has never felt obligated to him, regardless of whether he has the mental clarity to realize that for himself. ]

Ben. [ A repetition in the hope that it will command his attention, yank him out of his thoughts. As if silencing him before he can protest, she leans forward and closes her mouth over his, chaste and sweet. ] I want to be here with you.

[ Gathering the blanket he had abandoned, she tugs it down to throw over the both of them, curling closer into his side. ]

You're my friend, too.

[ More than that, if he'll have her. ]

[vaderstan]

[ The kiss, at the very least, manages to soothe him. If only a little. A dying need for contact and understanding. A want for him to belong somewhere. It manages to touch on all of those things. Once she pulls the blanket over the both of him her curls up ext to her, even in to her. Resting his head so his hair brushes against her sternum, draping a hand across her waist and pulling at her gently. ]

I don't understand why. [ A soft admittance. Still a bit manic, still sounding exhausted. But it's the truth. He's never held back from giving her that.

At the very least his mind is starting to calm. The waves are sliding over him rather than crashing into him at full strength. It's clear now why he'd asked her to help him sleep before.

He's so exhausted-- he just wants to sleep but his mind is still racing. He's only managing to calm it in small increments. ] You shouldn't have to tend to me.

[ His voice is softer still as the emotional crash continues to assault him and starts to wind down. ]

[purpose]

[ Because isn't the best defense, and what solid reasons she can find — she doesn't trust that he will absorb him, distraught and lost in his own thoughts as he is. And so she focuses solely on trying to calm him, uncaring that she's nude beneath the mess of blankets she's swaddled around the both of them, and cups the back of his skull as she urges him closer to her chest. That's where she keeps him, tucked against her sternum and close to the cadence of her heartbeat, hoping the gentle rhythm can convey what she can't. ]

Because I care about you. [ She says slowly, as though locating the words as she speaks them. Her fingers smooth through his hair. ] I don't need a reason to care about you, Ben.

[ It doesn't feel fair for him to doubt the truth of that. She hadn't demanded one from him when he had declared I love you so abruptly, even if she continues to struggle with his reasoning. More's to the point, she doesn't have a sufficient answer for him if he were to ask why. All she knows is that she does, regardless of whether anyone approves. ]

I don't have to do anything. [ Her nose nudges against his scalp as she tucks her mouth against the crown of his head. She doesn't have to do anything, but he is missing one vital piece of information. ] But I want to. You need to accept that.

[vaderstan]

[ Part of him accepts that, part of him doesn't. He's too split and harried to give her sentiment much thought-- not deep enough to comprehend it. Of course she cared for him. She came for him-- she came for him to help him even when he had done nothing to deserve it. To save him from Snoke? From himself?

He'd never thought to ask her, he never thought he'd have the chance to ask her. It hadn't been important at the time, all he had known is he wasn't alone and maybe, for once, he'd have someone at his side who cared for him. It'd all come crashing down, of course. And honestly, that was his own doing. She had feelings for someone he thought was dead and he was still trying to choke the life out of him.

And here he was-- being held in her arms and Kylo Ren had no place here... or anywhere else for that matter. He was broken and shattered and putting the fragments of himself together only gave him some distorted and unclear view of who he thought he was.

And yet she saw all of that and saw beauty.

He had to wonder what was wrong with him. His fingers dig into her skin and he presses his face closer to her chest and he can smell the water and the sea and her. Why couldn't he just accept that she wanted him as he was? Why could he only believe she wanted someone who was long dead? ] I love you.

[ It's murmured... Whispered into her heart beat. He knows she wanted him to wait until later but he doesn't know how else to say what he wants to say. There's too much there for him to find the words for. ]

I love you.

[ Here he finally begins to calm. His mind starts to slow and each thought doesn't send a shockwave of panic. A temporary peace-- a shift in the air-- ]

Do you hear him too? [ His voice sounds markedly more tired than before. His hold on her loosens-- ] Luke?

[ As if the name alone is enough to bring the Force alive he can feel himself slipping closer into unconsciousness. If he were any more coherent he'd feel insulted at his Uncle's energy working to soothe him into sleep, but for now he nearly welcomes it. ]

[purpose]

[ Her fingers slow where they drag through the disheveled mess of his hair, but she doesn't withdraw. ]

I believe you.

[ Tempted as she is to accept his conviction, murmur I know to console him, the truth is that she doesn't know. She had advised him to wait, and she still holds true to that desire. He is too muddled, too emotionally fraught, for her to accept that he won't come to regret the sentiment. Just moments ago, he had been pushing her away, distancing himself; it feels wrong to accept his confession when he's so overwrought, emotionally vulnerable.

Nevertheless, she doesn't sense any deception in it. More than that, she does believe that he believes that he loves her so ardently. That, for now, is all that matters.

As for the second half of what he's said, she takes longer to reply. She's silent for a pensive moment, eyebrows knitting as she nuzzles into the side of his temple. Her voice drops, aware he's getting closer and closer to drifting off, finally calmer. ]

Yes. [ So she isn't insane, then. ] I feel him. He's here.

[ As for hearing him, that's another issue. She hasn't; he hasn't appeared to her in that way, but he doesn't need to. She can sense him, and that brings its own peace. ]

adds more so u don't punch my mom

[vaderstan]

[ With that confirmation of what he's felt from the island his mind drifts. Finally letting go of the anxiety and panic and starting to float into sleep. In her arms, he was safe. He could start to believe that she wouldn't leave him, that he wouldn't have to be alone.

He murmurs one last time, something that sounds something like an apology before he's out again. ]

[ Once his mind eases-- his chest rises and falls in an even pattern-- once the ocean of his mind has stilled to nothingness-- long agonizing moments of him being pulled under-- the air will still again.

It's a bit like the bond, but completely different all at once. No tunneling silence. The world doesn't seem to fade to nothing. But a voice does ring out clearly.

'You know-- last time you were here, I seem to remember you were capable of wearing clothing.' ]

too late

[purpose]

[ She's relieved he hasn't begged her to slip into his mind and force him into a peaceful sleep. It had been a temporary balm, at best, the night previous; perhaps this serenity will be no different for him, but she has to have faith that it will wipe away some of his exhaustion, allow him to face the day renewed.

Dipping her chin, she watches him. A looming guardian, stroking absently through his hair. There are no threats to either of them here, but she feels better having him in her sights, and she has little doubt that Ben would feel the same. Even in his unconscious state, she won't leave him, lending him what comfort she can give if he should wake and reach for her.

Sliding downward somewhat, she moves to settle in next to him, and that's precisely when the air stirs around them. It isn't Ben. A curious glance at him confirms that for her. Her eyebrows knit, head turning, and then she sees the blue glow Luke Skywalker is casting against the side of the hut.

Red quickly pools in her cheeks. She scrambles to press the blanket closer to her chest, horrified at the idea of her former master and his uncle seeing her in the buff. ]

It's good to see you still know how to interrupt us.

[ She replies dryly, a bit indignant. For now, it overrides the awe of greeting him even when he's gone to the galaxy and to her, and the relief of knowing he continues to watch over the both of them. ]

You've been watching over him.

[ It isn't a question. Given what Ben has said, the validation of what they had both felt, she's sure of that now. ]

U DIE

[vaderstan]

[ Luke gives a smile that speaks to both adoration-- and a touch of exasperation. Kylo and Rey had proven again and again how every worst fear he had about their union was spot on. Fortunately-- Rey had also proven another theory of Luke Skywalker's. That they light could never truly be snuffed out in any person.

'You could call it making up for lost time.'

He'd failed his nephew time and time again. He should have been the one to empathize with him the most and-- he squandered that trust in a moment of fear.

'How are you, Rey?'

And despite all his sass he means it when he asks. ]

are you channeling your inner kylo ren

[purpose]

[ At that, her mouth purses. Making up for lost time, indeed. Luke Skywalker has made his mistakes, but there is something to be said for his attempts to redeem himself. Even in the afterlife, he continues to make amends, and Rey won't begrudge them that. ]

I don't know what to do. [ She admits, finally. There is no point in insisting she's 'fine', or relaying that she's exhausted in every sense of the world. The former isn't true, and the latter is obvious in the bags blossoming beneath her eyes; fatigued doesn't begin to cover it when she feels as useless as she does, unable to provide any true help to Ben when he clearly needs her. ] There's nothing I can do.

[ Aside from be here, aside from simply existing, but that doesn't feel like it's enough. Nothing feels like it's enough. ]

uh i am kylo duh also have some fanfic

[vaderstan]

[ There's a sigh here. Heavy and burdened. All that had happened to his nephew-- he hadn't deserved, Luke knew that whole-heartedly. The moment he had made that mistake and had condemned him to his fate, he had seen that he'd given him a sentence that may be too much to bear. It had been too much for his father, certainly, and now--

Well, none of it was good, but this seemed so much worse than anything he could have seen.

Not the act, no. But the way it took his conflict and blown it wide. A chasm where he couldn't comfortably rest on either side and the middle was so gaping wide he'd fall straight through.

There would be no peace in him for a while.

'You're right,' He finally speaks. 'There's nothing you can do.'

How helpful. Unfortunately, it's the truth. There's no pill or power that the Force can offer her to undo this, to restore him to the boy he had been before Snoke had slipped into his mind, before he had killed his father, before he took the title of Supreme Leader, or what had happened just a few nights prior. And that could offer some comfort, but it would only be brief. Fleeting.

Luke knew very well the pain of being unable to do nothing. Of sitting back and watching mistakes others had made play out-- things you had contributed to, knowingly or otherwise.

He'll step forward then, casting a blue light across the hut... wondering how Obi Wan or Yoda felt when giving him advice. Did they know what they were doing more than he did? Even with Master Yoda's considerable age on him, he can't imagine they knew much more. They were all faking it.

He brushes a hand over his nephews head, something he'd done when he was much younger. Mussing his hair, exposing his large ears-- the shouts and giggles of a happy youth were a long distant memory. Right now, all he can feel is pain and uncertainty.

'It's obvious, you know,' Luke rights himself then and looks straight to Rey. 'I knew he had feelings for you the moment I saw you together in this hut.'

And maybe there lay Rey's answer. At least in part.

'I was just too scared to consider that option.'

It was easier to believe Ben Solo had died with his father. That he was lost and his own predictions for his fate had been painfully correct. Instead of the truth of the matter which was even after what he had been through, after time and the light and the dark had tested his nephew-- that he still loved and cared and wanted for the light. Something Luke had failed in offering him. ]

fanfics are my fave. unlike my cat trying to walk on my laptop during tags

[purpose]

[ How helpful. Crestfallen, she glances away and toward Ben's mop of hair, like an answer they may have missed exists there. Where she had expected Luke's guidance, some Jedi wisdom that she is sorely lacking, she has — nothing. No viable solution that presents itself. There must be something, she tells herself. Something. ]

You were wrong about him.

[ Because there is still hope in him, after all, as Luke has all but admitted. And as fervently as she would hope Luke is wrong about this, too, she knows with dreadful certainty that he isn't. Her lips part with an inaudible sigh, settling her hand atop Ben's as he carries on, unaware of the conversation occurring right in front of him. ]

But his feelings for me — [ Whatever they are. Luke insists that it had been so clear to even him, but Rey still factors in the possibility that Ben is — well, lost. Mistaking feelings of gratitude and amiability toward her for love. ] — will only make this worse.

[ Not for her, but for him. As Luke has pointed out, she can't do anything. ]