Welcome one. Welcome all. I have brought all of you here today to say that YOU WERE LIED AND DECEIVED BY THE FORCES OF HOLLYWOOD AND UNCHECKED CAPITALISM. 'How?' You ask. And yes. I shall answer. It is simple:
The ending of the Rise of Skywalker was wrong
Wait. Excuse me. WHAT THE FUCK?
You read correctly, dear friends. Someone fucked with the editing of Rise of Skywalker and it changed the entire ending of the movie. It changed the characterization of three key characters and it's clear this was against the creator's wishes. I'll be breaking this down into a few key sections. What were the changes, Why I believe these changes were made (and made last minute), and do I consider this ending more or less canon then the theatrical ending. So. JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE FRIEND
The plot changes/editing change
It's fairly simple. They changed Leia's role in the plot, this changed the entire direction of the last few minutes of the movie. Let me break the timeline down
โ Deathstar fight on the ocean still happens, Ben is distracted by Leia reaching out to him. She either still enters her "disappointment son" coma here, or perhaps simply just reaches out to him.
โ From here, the plot continues as normal. Ben and Rey both get to the sith rave separately.
โ Rey Dies
โ Ben Revives her and dies.
โ Leia chooses THIS MOMENT to die and give her life to her son
โ Ben is revived. He and Rey kiss.
โ Move to conclusion
WHAT EVIDENCE DO I HAVE THESE CHANGES WERE MADE (and at the last moment)
Take in note, my evidence is circumstantial, but circumstantial evidence still counts as proof
โ Leia's final role in the movie is insanely unclear. She also takes 12 hours to actually die or something. Again. Confusing
โ Ben's final words, as of this moment, are "OW". Adam Driver said he was nervous about his final dialogue in the movie to the point he stressed about it on the flight over. And. Man. IDK about you but OW seems a little unstressful to say
โ There was no Force Ghost Ben, a decision that is baffling story wise. It would take any competent VFX team hardly any effort to throw a ghostly adam driver next to Leia and Luke. And this would be advantageous to add to the plot if Ben was going to die, give that final bit of closure to the Skywalker fam.
โ Rey's near LACK of emotion over his death. Go watch her realize she has to leave Ben behind in TLJ and tell me that the difference isn't noticeable. It's completely against her character.
โ The weird beats of Leia going into her disappointment son coma and the other strange beats of Ben's death. Especially the fact that you only see him disappear in like. one shot.
โ None of the cast thought he was going to die
โ Wow I wonder why Adam Driver is adamant about never wanting to do star wars at this point?
โ Wow, why does disney keep resetting the character poll of who is the most anticipated character of this movie????
โ The prophecy about Ben's death is completely unnecessary at this point. If it was brought up during TFA, it's understandable to put that thread there. Instead it's in the last movie when his death seems to be a foregone conclusion???
โ So Rey's fine for Luke and Leia even tho she's palpatines kid, but Luke and Leia don't seem all that bothered by Ben's death??????
โ This was supposed to be Leia's film and complete her arc. And while I understand that there was a lack of footage to use for her, it's odd that she ended up not playing much of a role beyond "Distract Ben so he gets stabbed ig"
โ Every single hole in characterization for Luke, Leia, and Rey, every strange beat that didn't really make sense in Ben and Rey's fight on the ocean and during their ??? Mutual deaths???? and the some how rushed and dragged on ending can be solved by a simple solution. Occam's razor, Ben was never meant to die permanently.
โ The fact that there was no final dialogue for Ben after his talk with his father suggests he had something significant to say after his resurrection
โ The fact that they didn't have a cut of Rey absolutely LOSING HER MIND over losing to, what amounts to, the other half of her soul suggests that she was never supposed to lose him permanently
โ The fact that there is no Ben Ghost means that they didn't have the time to slip that in before pushing it out to theaters
โ The way the final scenes with Rey are shot and edited are, again, weird, off balance. It seems like it ends WAY TOO QUICKLY and far too on the nose.
โ no but really guys. His final words are "OW"
โ As for WHO changed it, because of the fact that this is clearly an edit job done at the last minute? I'm putting my money on a CEO that is above Kathleen Kennedy and JJ Abrhrams. I think their hands are tied ATM. This is the ending that had been planned for, this is the ending they wanted, otherwise there would not be such big holes that felt weird and dishonest to the characters. And, like, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo was JJ's child, he wouldn't have done him dirty like this.\
THEATRICAL ENDING/TRUE ENDING
I'm sure opinions would be divided on which ending is canon depending on the person. The theatrical ending will be what's considered canon in the universe of star wars at large. For myself, I find it hard to deny the creators and filmmakers the right to present the story they wanted to tell. So, in that way, both endings are true for me. Though, I am biased-- both as someone who is an artist myself and someone who adores Kylo Ren's/Ben Solo's character-- I like the story the film team were trying to tell over the agenda that whoever pushed for these changes had. Personally, I believe it pushes Star Wars as a universe forward into new territory rather than keep it stagnant in the same old same old that it's always been. Plus. this maintains the integrity of Luke, Leia, and Rey's characters, Ben was never forgotten, far too gone, or unloved. Leia gave him one final gift, a second chance.
That said, I'm not pushing this ending on anyone. I won't be playing it by default. I would rather ask permission or have someone else bring it up.
no subject
And then she asks about Naboo and-- there's a lot of nervous chuckling...
'I'm not sure Naboo is an option we can take,' And here is Lando trying to side step this entire subject and Ben is OVER IT ALREADY. ]
My grandmother was Queen Amidala of Naboo. [ Excuse Jannah over here lookin' Real confused about this. ] She went on to be a senator for the Republic.
[ Didn't work out great for most anyone tbh.
Chewie chimes in here to point out HEY LEIA WAS A PRINCESS, which isn't helpful because Alderaan is kinda Blown up. By her father.... okay we don't talk about that in this family. But he's going to bring up a different point.
Also Chewbacca is not giving that any time to land. Rey is literally gonna have to interrupt their entire conversation because the fact that Ben is kinda?? Sorta??? Royalty is such old news and very confusing at best. ]
I'm not sure if Chandrila's entirely secure.
[ Plus... presumably??? People recognize him there. LOOK HE WAS JUST MAKING JOKES NOT SERIOUS SUGGESTIONS. ]
no subject
But.
BUT.
Somehow her brain is sort of catching up to what this means and she kind of has no idea how to take the fact that her former Supreme Leader and current zombie boyfriend is actually still kind of a literal Disney prince.]
Wait.
[She holds up a hand for everyone to just stop and fucking back this train up so the sleep-deprived manic Jedi can hop on. She turns to look at Ben, silently reassessing him in some nebulous way.]
Do either the Naboo people or the remaining Alderaanians claim you as one of their royal line? Would they acknowledge the claim if you made it, even as a temporary measure?
[There is another possibility forming somewhere in the back of her mind, but it is absolutely not one that she's going to voice or entertain on any level. Her grandfather's legacy is not something she's willing to exploit. Not even for this. She wouldn't even know where to begin if she wanted to.]
no subject
The last time I spoke with my mother about this-- [ Which was a really long time ago. Like, he'd been a kid and kinda confused about it. ] -- She said it was my decision if I wanted to take a title or not.
[ There is your answer to the question of "Did Ben Solo ever want to be a Prince tho?" ]
It seemed a bit excessive at the time.
[ This means he has no fucking clue, Rey. He's been a fascist dictator where he claimed the title by murdering his master who wanted to murder him. He has no idea how royalty and bloodlines work.
Also no Rey. No Don't. Because now his offhand joke is becoming a plan??? AND IT LOOKS LIKE MAYBE EVEN LANDO IS CONSIDERING IT. ]
no subject
We just need options. Some room to think.
[Then, to Ben,]
You don't have to decide now. I'm just not taking you before a Resistance that wants you dead without a plan of some sort.
[Unless he wants her to get even less sleep because she's guarding him from constant assassination attempts.
Lando, for his part, is muttering something about calling in some important favors just for the information they'd need to determine if Ben's claim to a title would be accepted, and if a title would even be a deterrent to those who wanted a harsh justice served.]
no subject
There's still just. A lot. There's a lot more that they need to discuss and as much as he'd love to sit here in the rapidly dimming light and talk about the diplomatic implications of him using a title to keep his head?? There's some more important shit that needs to be addressed. ]
We need to sleep. [ Rey more than him, in all honesty. ] And eat something more than nearly expired rations.
[ He's still unsure on whether he's hungry or tired but like. He's fairly sure his body is going to decide for them pretty soon.
And, yeah. Everyone can agree on that, there's a quiet murmur of agreement before Lando decides to try and take charge of this situation.
'There's room on the Falcon if you don't want to stay here,' He has not forgotten Rey's angry storming around and "WE GOTTA LEAAAAAAAAAAAAVE". 'I've got a few places in the outer rim we can orbit around quietly until we decide the next steps.'
Because the next steps are likely deciding between bringing Poe, Finn and Rose into the fold before or after they try and run off to Naboo. ]
no subject
It would be good if Ben changed clothes, too. Death shirt is kinda hot and all that but again: death. shirt. She needs to stop seeing him die over and over again in her head every time she lets her mind land there.
Rey manages to communicate her need for cleanliness in some half-coherent fashion before leaving everyone else to sort out their own lives. Let someone who's had more than a few hours' sleep in a row figure out the food question.
Also, she's not gonna tell you what to do, Ben. She doesn't actually care where they sleep as long as it's you and her in one room where they can shut the door on everyone else.
She's just gonna. Disappear into the fresher for a while. I have no idea if their showers produce actual water but once again this is my imagination so I'm gonna go with fuck it, yes, because this is the quality content you're here for. Wet Rey. Trying her best to let the hot water overtake all her other senses for a little while.]
no subject
Okay no he's gonna walk in behind her because Jannah's still looking at him weird and BB-8 is taking up the caboose. They are a small family of ducklings right now. Chewie's gone off to grab her stuff and Lando and Jannah aren't too far behind. Looks like he's working out the rooming situation between all of them. Captain's quarters, crew's quarters, main hold. Not a lot of options for everyone but for the safety of their current VIP fascist dicktator guest? He and Rey get Captain's quarters. Lockable door, Jannah's not gonna know the code. Sorry girl, you're cute and all but this is something he really owes to Leia and Han.
Ben's guided there and Lando explains that maybe some of his clothes will fit him but??? Ben you're so large?????????????????????? They're gonna have to make a stop for clothes. And probably more food. Chewie shushes both of them off as he decides he's gotta make sure to change these sheets because he doesn't trust Lando to not taint them and Ben's left in the main hold with a towel and a new shirt in his arms and???
'I'll go see if I can find you some food,' Lando just goes off to figure out that situation and??
Okay fine?
He walks up to the 'fresher door and because he's not a fucking harem protagonist he's actually gonna hear the water running and... Just decides to wait outside. He doesn't think Rey would mind, but he's not sure either one of them is ready to see the other Wet and Naked at this point in time with everyone scrambling around the ship.
(Oh and the sheets will be CLEAN when they get back to the room and there's gonna be some actually good food. Like even some fruit which Lando may or may not have killed a man for.) ]
no subject
Her hair is also down out of the messy buns and she's working out some of the more stubborn snarls with a hairbrush she's managed to find as she steps back into the room. She spares Ben about half a second's glance before her eyes land on the fruit. There is fruit. Do you know how rarely in her life Rey got to have fruit???
Sorry, Ben, but you're currently second place to a weird purple pear-shaped thing, which Rey is going to eat like it's the absolute last piece of food in existence. It's probably either really gross or really sexy depending upon what you're into, but Rey is incredibly unconcerned with anything else for a few minutes. She's probably got purple pear juice all over her mouth and is chewing really unglamourously by the time she remembers Ben even still exists on the same plane of reality.]
So that... went okay, I think?
no subject
We didn't kill anyone.
[ A low standard to set but honestly... probably a good baseline.
Also. He's not minding her need for fruit. Please eat more Rey. Like he's not gonna be taking too analytical an eye to her right now. But he's fairly positive that you have probably lost some weight and he's gonna feel bad about that okaY?????
He's about to duck into the fresher and probably use every last drop of hot water on this ship (like. it's gonna recycle but its gonna take a while to re-heat okay) but then thinks better of it and stops to ask ]
You need me for anything?
[ He just wants to doubly triply make sure because she has had a Hard couple of weeks. ]
no subject
Rey will not need much encouragement to eat, though she's been neglecting food for a bit and yeah, she's probably a little more angular than she had been. But the shower and the change of scenery have helped, as has Ben's continued existence. And they've got some options. Breathing room.
Rey shakes her head and offers him a little smile.]
I'm fine. I'll be here.
[She figures he needs the shower to feel something approaching human again, too. So she's content to eat some more of the real, actual food and then settle herself directly in the center of the bed where she'll resume trying to brush the knots out of her hair and wait for Ben to return.]
no subject
Lando will come in over the intercom to the quarter and inform Rey that they'll be departing soon. And that the door to their room is effectively locked to only people who know the code.
'You need anything, call me,' And with that Lando begins piloting duties with Chewie.
Ben will be a bit and once he gets out of the fresher it will be billowing steam and--
nah he's got on the Resurrectionย pants. And not the death shirt.... Nope. It's a goddamn tank top.
I apologize Rey. But it's all Lando had that would fit him and you've got his Resurrectionย Shirt hidden somewhere with your things.
So. Wet hair, pink skin, just a lot of arms and neck showing. He's got a towel about his neck that he's using to sponge off some of the moisture and sliding into the bunk next to her. Which. Yeah this is the captain's quarters but there isn't That much room on the bunk. So they're kinda pressed close, but he doesn't really care too much. ]
Hey.
[ What an eloquent and thoughtful start to a conversation. ]
no subject
She'll slide over a bit to give him room to sit but she's really not all that concerned with being any further from him than strictly necessary. On the one hand, this is all very surreal and very new, but on the other, she's 97% certain that Ben's nearness is the only reason she's this calm.]
Hi.
[How is it that Rey can expend way too many words on literally every other aspect of what's gone down recently, but saying two in a row to Ben is near impossible? Is this ever going to get easier? Are they just going to have to make out, bang, and fight without ever saying anything?
Questions for the ages, honestly. But right now she's got herself together enough that she thinks she really ought to check in with Ben.]
How are you, really? That was all... a lot.
[There's a gentle inquiry that she'll send along their bond; she's not going to push him for anything he doesn't want to reveal. She just wants him to know she's not going to fall apart anymore so it's okay if he needs to.]
no subject
And while the food should probably be his concern (he has barely eaten a thing and is honestly probably actually hungry but all this anxiety has just made his entire appetite fuck off)โ his concern is actually all over Reyโs hair. Heโll reach across and over Reyโs form to nab up that hair brush and turn her until her back is to him and. Yup. Heโs undoing what ever the fuck sheโd done and is going to start gently working at the knots and tangles. ]
I donโt know. [ it isnโt a great answer. But itโs honest. ] Iโll let you know when I do.
[ Again. This is very surreal. It doesnโt feel like he was dead for two weeks. It feels like he died and then didnโt.
And this isnโt even addressing the fact that he threw away his supreme leader mantle or the whole first order so his entire routine and life has been turned on itโs head. He had never thought coming home was an option. Heโd been ready to die because it was clear it never was. And thenโ heโs here. ]
I saw my father. [ heโll say that much ] After you healed me.
no subject
Well, this is surreal. Whatever Rey had expected, she really did not expect Ben Solo to start brushing her hair. Like. This should honestly be the last of his concerns. It's barely one of her concerns.
But it's really, really nice. She'll lean back into him a little, not so much that she interferes with the brushing, however. It's soothing, and she could honestly fall asleep again if he keeps doing that.
But then he's talking about his father, and she turns her head just a little to glance back at him when he does. Just to acknowledge that she knows what that admission costs.]
I'm glad.
[A pause, and then, softer,]
Your parents loved you very much, Ben. You have to know that.
[Does he? Surely he must by now. There's no hint of judgment in it; she just wants him to know that he was and is loved, whatever his crimes had been.]
no subject
I mean...
He'd also take making out as well, but HE JUST WANTS TO GET YOUR HAIR UNDER ORDER FIRST.
But in response to her statement he gives a soft noise that affirms that he at least heard her, but doesn't really provide an answer either way. On one hand, his mother gave him her life and his father had said he loved him, begged for him to come home. On the other-- well. He knows he's far from being an innocent victim of circumstance. He made many choices which should lead him straight to an execution.
Excuse him as he parts her hair to get to another section, he's being really meticulous about this. She'll probably feel how his methodicalness helps even out his emotions into background noise.
Also he's doing that thing again. That obnoxious Kylo Ren thing of not directly answering her and just asking a different question. ] Why are you nervous around me?
[ Like. He would love to think it's just the tank top, but he felt her mind stutter before he got into the 'fresher so he's just making the leap of "well it's more than my tits" ]
no subject
She would have been a small child the last time anyone else touched her hair. She hadn't realized it was something she would find so calming and honestly, so necessary right now. They both needed that contact; little ways to get more familiar with one another. Which was an odd thing to think about someone who was somehow your mystical other half, but. Nothing about the two of them had been ordinary.
She almost laughs in surprise and just... sheer confusion at the nature of his question. It doesn't exactly offend her, but she has to bite down her first defensive instinct to protest that she's not nervous.
But. I mean. Dude.
When you first met her you kidnapped her, and you've been kind of consistently intense ever since. She loves you, but that's a whole confusing thing in its own right. And you just keep jumping around all over the place and skipping the steps that normal people take before getting to the point where you're brushing her goddamn hair and just.
Your question is too difficult and also a little unfair, Ben.]
I told you it's hard to know how to be around you. We've barely had anything that counts as an actual conversation.
no subject
I haven't had a lot of conversation in the last seven years. [ Getting lectured, strategizing, getting triggered by the light and talking to an old warped mask that had been worn by his grandfather? Yeah, there wasn't a lot of "hello, how are you? How was your weekend?" ] I'm rusty.
[ Which is an understatement.
But to be fair he was actually the first one to try and have a normal conversation when this whole force bond dyad shit started acting up. And she just immediately tried to shoot him and screamed at him.
Which. Yes her reaction was more normal. And YES He did skip a few steps. But REY IT WAs IMPORTANT AND SUPER INTERESTING, MORE INTERESTING THEN JUST MURDERING ONE ANOTHER.
But maybe he should throw her a bone??? He's not sure. How do people start conversations outside of sith cults????? ]
What would you like to discuss?
[ ???? Is that good???
Also, excuse him as he pulls her hair up into his hands and brushes at the underside in a maneuver that is completely uncalled for and unfair. ]
no subject
What she wants to say is something along the lines of "I'm sorry for all those times I tried to kill you (but to be fair you were being a dick)" but that's exactly the sort of intense territory she's trying to move them away from.]
Tell me something I don't already--
[excuse her, that perfectly reasonable sentence is going to be interrupted by a positively undignified noise of enjoyment because dear god his fingers had just touched the back of her neck just so and sent a full-body shiver down her spine that she isn't remotely prepared to suppress.
Well. They're not going to get a lot of talking done if he insists upon doing things like that.]
-- that I don't already know about you.
[Yup, just pretend like you didn't enjoy that way more than was convenient, Rey. The man's ego is probably already way too big. Just like his--
Hands. Yup. ]
no subject
But if he noticed the noise
he didhe's paying it no mind. They are still in a strange emotional space and he isn't about to jump her bones because he was able to make her jelly over hair brushing.But, you know, he sees what she's thinking and now I am made a liar about him paying that noise no mind because he's just gonna do the move again and press his mouth to the nape of her neck and just-- ]
You're the second person I've kissed. I've been with no one else.
[ He's a fukkin' virgin cause they ain't drowinin' in puh on the darkside apparently.
Actually man, now that I think about it the dark side seems to be fueled by incel rage. wtf. ]
no subject
Sorry, Ben, the hair brushing probably just got kind of complicated, because she cranes her head to look at him with a sort of mild disbelief even though she can feel the truth of his words.]
Really? But I thought you could have --
had anyone you wanted she thinks, probably too loudly even though she's realized that's literally not true, given that who he'd wanted was her. And I mean. Maybe there'd been rules about that sort of thing under Snoke. She doesn't want to think about it. She wants him to keep doing things that make her all melty. But she also wants to get to know him in some way other than the naked way first. Or you know. Simultaneously. Whatever.
(Oh hey Ben, that bathrobe she's wearing? Definitely too big for her. Absolutely trying to slip off one shoulder given the way she's awkwardly turned to sort-of look at you.)
And for a minute it seems like she's really, deeply considering kissing him. Because she is. She wets her lips first and everything. But instead, without turning back around, she asks-]
Your turn. Ask me something. And no fair just pulling the answer out of my mind even if that's effortless for you.
[She knows it's kind of an effort to block one another out, but she's been making one so as not to invade his privacy. She doesn't want to be another person uninvited into his head.]
no subject
Also there's no polite way to say "You think too loudly and give away your every thought just by the way you move and are" that won't derail this entire nice moment so he'll keep that to himself. ]
Favorite planet you've been to since leaving Jakku.
[ And since she's destroyed all chances he currently had of continuing to play with her hair? He'll set aside the brush and lean forward on her and wrap his arms around her middle.
You didn't think this snot was going to be immediately comfortable invading your space upon first meeting you? Please, he may have thought about aggressively cuddling you in that goddamn interrogation chair if you hadn't just JUMPED INTO HIS BRAIN. ]
no subject
Not a bad plan tbh.
She's actually surprisingly comfortable (or unsurprisingly; by now Rey's starting to figure out that being close to one another is keeping them both calm and anchored), so she just lets one hand rest lightly over one of his and the other will lightly stroke his arm where it's wrapped around her waist; just letting her fingertips trace idle patterns as she speaks.]
Mm. You'd probably think Ahch-To because it was the island from my dream, but it was honestly kind of a let-down in person. I was starting to enjoy Ajan Kloss, honestly. It's the entire opposite of Jakku. I felt safe there for a while.
[This is nice. She wouldn't mind kissing him some more, but she also wouldn't mind just talking to each other until one of them falls asleep. It'll probably be her, but she's vaguely concerned he's not actually gotten enough sleep either, so she may make a conscious effort to make sure he does this time. It's all up to whether or not tiredness wins out over her concern, and how successful Ben is at remaining a calming influence.
And really. Honestly. What is her life that suddenly Ben Solo is the most calming influence in it?]
My turn. Tell me about the planet you grew up on.
no subject
And in response to her demand he hums softly as he tries to think of how to describe his home planet. But words are hard to find when trying to describe such an all encompassing experience so he'll just draw up a memory of it and let it seep into her.
It's his home-- well, his family's home. It's a memory from when he was younger, and there's the smell of the ocean in the air as a breeze is let in. The sky is a brilliant lilac hue, the clouds set on fire by the setting sun, a droid chatters about dinner time and Rey may notice that even in this memory that's so tinted in warm nostalgia... the young Ben Solo is still at home alone. As he picks himself off the ground the memory will fade. ]
I remember it being lonely, really.
[ Said matter-of-factly. She felt it within him as he had with her.
man what a topic to head into. Ben's just gonna turn this bus around ]
Threepio or an inebriated Poe Dameron. Which do you want to toss out of an airlock more?
[ He ripped through Poe's mind like tissue paper. He knows exactly how obnoxious an inebriated Poe Dameron is ]
no subject
But it's not a conversation that's going to happen this instant. Maybe it's selfish, but Rey doesn't want that answer yet. Or possibly ever. She lets herself take in his memory, the beauty and the wistful feeling about it and yes, the underlying loneliness. She'll try to send back a gentle nudge of reassurance even before he changes the subject.]
You're terrible; what a rude question. [She's laughing, though.]
Just for the record, I don't usually want to airlock my friends, but Threepio is... really, really annoying.
[And this is really not fair, because now she can't actually think of much to ask him that will maintain the light mood. And she hasn't truly laughed in... at least sixteen days. Probably more. But she doesn't want to touch upon topics that will make him think about any of the following: his childhood, his parents, his uncle, Snoke, the First Order, dying, coming back to life, or...
Wait. Inspiration time.]
"What color would you want your new lightsaber to be?"
[She's truly not going to try to convince him to join the Jedi Order if he doesn't want to; she's not even sure she's actually going to rebuild it yet. That had just been thinking fast in order to keep Ben from getting killed. But she supposes he's thought about it the lightsaber question at least a little.]
no subject
Red.
[ You can elbow him really hard if you want to he fucking deserves it. But with or without the deserved abuse he will give an honest response. ]
I don't know. [ Going back to blue just seemed to be trying to regain something he could never have back.... maybe something he never really wanted to have back. And his thoughts while busting ass to get to Rey and her face-off with Palpatine had been solely on "Gotta get Rey out of this alive". And since being revived? "Gotta get Rey to sleep."
Either way he's tugging her a bit more tightly to him, even rearranges his limbs just a bit. He goes from having his feet crossed together in front of him to spreading them out so they can just have full body contact. Don't think about his dick, Rey. Don't eyeball the size of his feet and hands, Rey. It's just a dick. He is, honest-to-god, just feeling a whole lot better about a lot of things with her tucked close to him. Nothing else in this galaxy had to make sense, because this did.
Okay maybe he does want to fuck with her a little. It's hilarious. This is who he is. The Literal Worst. ]
How long have you wanted to touch my hair?
[ Which is just several shades of asshole already, but he ups the ante by saying it nearly directly in to her ear. He can feel how squirrely she's getting and it's honestly????????? just kinda an ego boost and Hilarious. Like. PEOPLE RUN IN FEAR FROM HIM OR ATTEMPT TO MURDER HIM. They do not get all blushing and flustered about it.
Also he probably missed every single sign of a girl being into him in his youth. this is the type of guy he is]BENJAMIN CHEWBACCA SOLO I STG
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
off-topic but not rly: I'm listening to Frozen 2 and specific songs are a big mood here.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
jesus god they're never gonna fuck but i love it bc slow burn is my jaaaaaam
BEN JUST WANTS TO GET SOME UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP FIRST OKAY
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
in which Rey is a vicious tease.
in which ben solo has no understand of how normal humans act
Rey: *just quietly implodes*
(no subject)
writes an entire speech
better than any of Hux's speeches tbh
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
makes everything worse or better idfk
Bruh its both
(no subject)
(no subject)
coping skills: n o p e.
coping skills: laughs in star wars
(no subject)
(no subject)
this sure didn't get any better!!!!
ITS ALL FINE. DONT WORRY. NOTHING TO SEE HERE AS REYS LIFE CASUALLY LIGHTS ON FIRE.
does he kiss his mother with that mou -- whoops nvm
excuse me wtf I never said I was gonna bring out the porgs.
look it's either dick or porgs i don't make the rules
okay porgs were first on his ideas list, then booze, then finding something for her to fix
all A++ ideas tbh, good thinking Ben
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
lord I spent 24 hours dealing with sick children pls send help enjoy Disney!
What if I just send more children.
(no subject)
(no subject)
writes this high on Nyquil thanks kids for the plague
Rings bell and screams BRING OUT UR DEEEEEEEEEEAD
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
isn't the desire to fuck han solo just part of the galaxy's collective consciousness?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
current soundtrack: desire by meg myers. you're welcome.
LMFAO I'm tagging u at an airport gate sO UR WELCOME TOO
ofc now I've just got Lin Manuel Miranda singing you're welcome in my brain gj self
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
these icons ruin everything lmfao
you misspelled "enhance the entire experience exponentially"
(no subject)
remember the good old days when it was just Rey on the verge of a panic attack?
honestly we're all impressed he's kept it together this long
They are a relay race of keeping it together. It's a balance.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
I literally fell asleep halfway through writing this last night lmao
LMFAO. It was your intentions that counted most
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
i didn't write this at the dentist, go me
I DIDNT WRITE THIS AT WORK GO US
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
hey fam. wanna come rip out my uterus these cramps are killing my vibe
my kids gave me their sore throat. shares advil and general lack of vibe.
Work was being a dick so here I am back
my household had the plague so we all lose
(no subject)