Pretentious RP with Kylo page

[vaderstan]

Ben Solo
Kylo Ren

The protein shakes, where are they?

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Prompts&Wishlists&Ships Yes / No / Maybe Texts Prompts Trigger Warnings / Important Soundtrack Aesthetics Contact Me

Prompts&Wishlists&Ships

GENERAL PROMPTS

Redemption arc: Kylo leaving the First Order. Due to either slow burn reasons (Figuring out holy shit I don't want this) or Immediate Issues That Need Solving (Rey's kidnapped, Hux turns on him, etcetc)

Re-adjusting to life in the light/in the Resistance. Whether it goes smoothly or Rough is up to the situation

Early First Order Days. Especially when Snoke was breaking his Ben Solo identity

Ben Solo Pre-First Order

Ben Solo as the most obnoxious Resistance Member idek

Jedi Hippie camp with Luke

BEN AND HIS FAMILY

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

Becoming king of Porgs and other cute creatures and he doesn't understand why

Becoming his father's son

Also being just like his mother

AND ALSO BEING JUST LIKE LUKE

Rey convinces Kylo to come with her and join the Resistance. The resulting tension and rebuilding of trust in him... As well as Jedi training with her

Interactions with his mother, whether it be from the above scenario, or even reaching out through the force

Poe, Finn and the rest of the Resistance reacting to kylo switching sides. Poe hitting on Kylo and having to give him tons of dumb nicknames because Ren only wants his mom and Rey to call him ben

Kylo being a weird Scary Older Brother to the entire Resistance.

Kylo and Anakin. KYLO AND KENOBI

Discussions/threads with Han Luke and Leia- discussion forgiveness and mistakes

Rebuilding the Jedi Order

Post War Threads

Kylo Ren disappears mysteriously from the war after major internal strife causes the downfall of the First Order. Someone comes across Ben Solo in hiding years later

Kylo on Jakku complaining its hot as balls. Look. I don't know. I'm just saying it would be hilarious

Drunk texts are the best don't tell me otherwise

SHIPPY PROMPTS
SHIPS I AM DOWN FOR
Kylo/Rey hands down

If ur sittin there readin this going "Oh no but so many Reys are bugging them I don't wanna be annoying" I don't fucking care TAG ME

Hand touching

I love you. I know.

Forcebond shenanigans. Kylo or Rey reaching out to touch the other while the other one is busy (GOOD SHIT. GOOD SHIT)

Rey getting seriously injured and separated from the Resistance. Her only option is to force time Kylo

Kylo finding Rey on Ahch'to and them fucking around under luke's nose (Forcebond in person who knows)SMUT HUT

FORCEFULLY GIVING REY A BIRTHDAY AND MAKING HER CELEBRATE IT

Snoke tries to kill kylo in front of rey and it doesn't go like he plans

REY IN A GODDAMN DRESS AND KYLO ACTUALLY NOT KNOWING HOW TO REACT AT ALL

CLEANING HER DUMB HOUSE

Forcebond dreaming shenanigans. Especially if Rey or Kylo are stuck in one anothers nightmares.

Rey finding out how bad Snoke really was.

Visiting Ahch'to together

Empress Rey

Empress Rey Working to secretly undermine the first order

Meeting before TFA/in different circumstances

Fighting/sexual tension/beating each other up. u kno

Just re-enact Pride and Prejudice with me

Either one suffering from insomnia and helping the other sleep

Public Sex

Weird DubCon Sex (Rey taking advantage of Kylo I'm freely admitting to my trash)

SHIPS I AM MAYBE ON
Kylo/Poe: I'm not of the fanon that Ben or Poe knew each other as kids. If you want to play that, talk with me first, we'll need to hash out details. If you wanna do hateship, that's fine too. Again. I'd like to be consulted first
Kylo/Hux: This is such a huge maybe it's almost a no. I am not down for fluffy Kylo/Hux. I don't think Kylo or Hux secretly love each other and that takes form in them wanting to murder each other when they walk into a room and see each other. I do not think Kylo wants anything to do with Hux's dick Ever. I only see this happening as Hux taking advantage of Kylo when he's emotionally compromised and unprotected without Snoke keeping Hux in line.
So Kylux is only a "cool lets do it" if you are willing to play out something unhealthy, toxic, with a huge dose of hate and manipulation. Kylo/ANYONE ELSE: Not against pretty much any other ship, but Kylo's a hard dude to ship with for. A lot of reasons. Talk with me first, and I'll see if we can work something out.

CHARACTERS/CROSSOVERS

I'm fine with every and any star wars characters. If you are doing something from the EU I request that you just have enough info in your profile so I know what your character's deal is

AU characters are fine. I'm not really into Gender Bent characters (sorry y'all), again-- I just need info in your profile about the AU (Unless it's discussed w me before hand)

I Herald from disney princess beginnings. Give me all your princesses I think this combo is fucking hilarious

Brienne of Tarth because i'm still laughing about it

God I will add more later. Really just tag me.

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YES / NO / MAYBE

YES

text messages, actionspam, lengthy brackets, prose.

ous/ au/ all us tbh

previous meme or psl continuations / sequels / c&ping a starter i never replied to.

EMOTIONALLY HEAVY BULLSHIT

FLUFF

contact me if i drop a tag you want picked up

Angst

redemption arcs

intense emotionally heavy threads

Smut

general

hurt comfort

Kylo or Rey getting injured

Kylo being a huge fucking brat.

if there's anything you're not sure about, ask!

NO

Rape.

Dull RP.

Taking this character WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.

Me doing the work of moving a scene along

rape/non-con. Especially with Kylo as the aggressor (This can be changed with prior discussion and prior threading)

scatophilia, emetophiloa, necrophilia.

gender/sexuality play.

degradation involving racism or ablism.

power-gaming and ooc dick-measuring contests.

AUs with no information

OCs with no information

Maybe

Dub con

torture

killing

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Appearance

APPEARANCEINFOHERE

Home

Trigger warnings important info

Mental health

I know everyone and their mom with an armchair psychologist degree wants to diagnose Kylo Ren/Ben Solo with whatever mental illness checks all the boxes. I know Bipolar and Borderline personality disorder are two popular illnesses to cite when it comes to his mental health. Along with a healthy dose of citing him as a sociopath/psychopath. However, I'm not going to be using those illnesses/personality disorders in how I play Kylo. While they fit on paper, I don't believe "what's wrong with him" presents in the correct fashion in canon for any one of the above listed issues.

I believe Kylo Ren/Ben Solo is suffering from: Recurring Chronic Major Depression it could be passed down through their family given what we know of Anakin and what happened with Luke; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder From his force powers manifesting with him having little control over it as a kid, from being sent away to Luke after his mother couldn't handle him on her own anymore, from his father leaving one day and never coming back, from having a voice whispering in his head his entire life, from that voice being a predator who preyed on his weaknesses and molded him into what he wanted Ben to be, from Luke Skywalker holding a lightsaber above his head, from abuse after abuse from Snoke, and probably a Ton more. Abandonment issues stemming first from his parents (And quite probably friends he had who left for whatever reason, or bridges he burned on his own) and then just. The entire force tbh. And abandonment issues is where he gets his unchecked rage, he, in canon, is quite literally triggered into a rage whenever he confronts someone who he felt abandoned him, or when he feels rejected or left behind. Finally he is a victim of Brainwashing and indoctrination from Snoke. Snoke is a narcissist who was using Kylo as a means to an end, it's been stated and shown that he was ready to kill Kylo after the Last Jedi since he had become unbalanced and unpredictable. If you don't agree with what I am saying here (Which is fine :) ), then I suggest you don't play with me. I am fairly confident in this being the way I see and play Kylo.

I play him as having triggers. I won't get into the reasoning behind each one, but i'll specify the specifics which come to mind: Abandonment (Perceived or real), his family, loss of control (Physically, emotionally, mentally, through the force)

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Soundtrack

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song artist

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Aesthetics

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player

name. naima age. 30 timezone. PST discord. nainai#8088 plurk. billnaisciguy code. tessisamess

Comments

u know i love small novels

[purpose]

[ Jakku has trained her to respond to a threat at a moment's notice, startled by even the smallest ominous noise, and so his departure doesn't go undetected. She's too light of a sleeper for her not to stir as soon as the door creaks open on squeaky hinges, sending panicked alarms off in her mind. Blearily, her head lifts from the pillow to blink out into the barely lit room — but when she discovers the familiar outline disappearing around the bend of the door belongs to Ben, she falls back to her sloppily made pillow.

Not an intruder, her mind soothes. There's a twisted sense of irony in her relief; she'd been stricken with terror as he'd stalked her through jungle terrain, but the same man she had once dismissed as a monster is the same one that feels comforting. That feels like a sanctuary should when he clutches her to him.

— When he clutches her to him. Wait. She returns to her senses too slowly for mortification to fully overwhelm her at the entangled position they've taken on the floor. Somewhere along the way, it seems she had been pushing back against him in an unconscious desire to generate body heat. Whether it had been successful is open for debate; her toes are solid blocks of ice, but her entire body feels damnably warm where it's tucked into his.

She tries valiantly to ignore that dilemma in favor of another: he could have fled without another word, and she would have been none the wiser. Belatedly, she clings to his arm where it coils around her waist and chains her to him, locking him into place as if she's only just realized how easily he could walk away. ]

You came back.

[ In all fairness to Rey, it's a half-asleep drawl, spoken in that fuzzy space that exists before waking. Come morning, she may not even recall snuggling back against him so eagerly, and murmuring about abandonment. Perhaps it's better that way if she ever hopes to look him in the eye again. ]

[vaderstan]

[ ... She stirs and... she's not pushing him away. Or trying to push him away. Half asleep and possibly delirious but also... accepting.

Maybe.



She is real.

He tucks his head against hers and he realizes he can smell her hair and skin and-- yeah. This sensory overload is acceptable for him. She's nothing like Hux down to the fact that there is no way she uses the same whatever fucking probably minty weird whatever shampoo he probably used. Idk. just looks like a dude who would put Mint Scents into his hair. ]

Where else would I go?

[ He belonged with her at her side.

He pulls her closer and it's probably Luke's presence that helps him open up the bond more, but-- oh goddammit. Your dumb cold feet, Rey. He's just shifting and snagging one of her feet with his boots and tucking them between his legs just. Steal all of his body heat. He doesn't care. Every last bit of him belonged to her as far as he was concerned. ]

[purpose]

[ The whisper of his breath ruffles the errant strands spilling from the unruly bun at the nape of her neck, but nothing is so compelling as the effect it has on her skin. Her throat has gone parched, flushed — a result of sleep, she tells herself, though that doesn't account for the goosebumps that appear along the same path as his heavy exhales.

Rey squirms like she might escape it, but with her foot snared against the inseam of his leg, she's virtually immobile. Well. If she's going to succumb to it, at least she can acknowledge it's the most vividly realistic dream she's had the agony of experiencing. Might as well make the most of it before daylight burns it away and allows shame to take the place of her contented enjoyment of a solid body working to warm her. ]

I don't know. [ It sounds like she hasn't had water in weeks, scratchy and hoarse when she speaks. She feels absurd answering what has to be a specter, a figment created by a lonely mind, but she still twists in its arms to sleepily plead over her shoulder. ] Stay.

[vaderstan]

[ It feels important to note here


He still. Really wants to kiss her.

And this isn't helping right now.

Every bone in his body aches for him to lean forward and close the gap between their lips, but-- yeah considering what just happened. And also the fact that he's not about to kiss her when she's half asleep and won't remember. He holds off.

He tucks his mouth to the crown of her head instead, drowning the urge there with a press of his mouth there. ]

Of course.

[ Not that he had much option now that he was caught in a Rey trap.

And... now finally his mother's presence finds him like an old blanket pulled out of the cupboards for the first time in a while. She's worried about him, and now she's aware something terrible happened. He hopes she can feel he's safe right now. Rey's his own nightlight.




Who stabs his attackers :,) ]

Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up.

[ Honestly feels like he needs to say that and









like we joked about him sleeping for 500 hours but he's going to sleep. Hard.

Thanks Luke. He's apparently being a Force Xanax right now. ]

[purpose]

[ With his permission, she flops back over onto her side with a mmph of acquiescence. The very epitome of beauty and grace, this one is. Especially as the wool blanket begins to collect the drool pooling at the corner of her mouth. It may or may not be an improvement to her behavior if she were more alert, more inclined to keep him awake in some desperate need to catch up for lost time. She's missed him, she realizes — missed the ease of his companionship and the understanding therein. As soon as that revelation dawns on her, she's slipped out of consciousness, perfectly serene.

As it turns out, Ben Solo might be her version of Force xanax.

She's too unaccustomed to being held not to struggle against the cage his limbs create, once or twice in the middle of the night, but she's settled into the routine by morning. On the other hand, being so utterly convinced he's an illusion might have something to do with it. Whatever the case, it's a forgotten theory once she wakes to the stifling heat their bodies have produced throughout the night. Her jacket clings to the sweat glistening at her back, but any and all attempts to roll out of his hold are thwarted by the vice grip he has on her. Groggy, she sniffles and bats at his arm, trying and failing to strip the jacket off any further than her shoulders.

— That forgotten theory? Not so forgotten now. The night comes back to her in disjointed pieces as she peers over her shoulder and confronts the mop of inky hair spread across the floor. She stares, and stares, and stares some more in disbelief — and then puzzlement. She'd told him to take the cot, hadn't he? When had he —

Caught up in her thoughts, she doesn't hear the approaching steps or the rapping knock against their door. It swings open with seemingly no warning as one of the caretakers barges her way in, sending Rey almost leaping out of her skin. ]

Oi!

[ They aren't in any salacious position, but that's not the point. She's not sure what the point is, exactly, only that their peaceful bubble has been popped by the intrusion and she can now no longer curl against him and delude herself into believing it's all an elaborate fantasy. ]

[vaderstan]

[ Yeah, not even caretakers or Rey yelling and jolting awake are affecting him right now. His sleep has been empty and dreamless and even before everything happened that was such a rarity.

Rey really doesn't want to think too hard on the fact that he had stims by his bed-- or that maybe he had been waiting for Hux to betray him, he just hadn't expected it to be... what it was-- or any of it. Thinking on it too hard just means that she'll come to the sad conclusion that this is the most relaxation he's had in one night in decades.


---Again. Even after everything that happened.

Also the Force may be helpign right now. Luke also specifically. Since he's like. The entire reason for the trauma of "HAH YOURE NOT EVEN SAFE WHEN YOU SLEEP ASSHOLE."

So he mumbles something about the floor being fine and presses into her closer, his arm tightening his hold once again and very much Not Actually Waking up. ]

[purpose]

[ She doesn't need to be familiar with their language to understand that she and Ben are now the targets of their scolding. The caretaker that's stumbled across them, quite literally, spends an inordinate amount of time tittering in a garbled tongue and gesturing irately at Ben's boots. Rey's brows pinch together as her expression flip flops, torn between indignation and sheepishness and unable to decide on which emotion to embody. Just as her mouth drops to open, the small alien woman tosses her hands up in a universal gesture of exasperated resignation and stomps her way out of the hut.

All throughout the commotion, Ben hasn't cracked an eye open — not even once. If not for the telling rise and fall of his chest, it would be worrying. To reassure herself, she rotates toward him and splays her fingers across his chest, taking in the thud of his heartbeat as it drums against the flat of her palm. He's solid and alive, she reminds herself, shoulders sagging with slight relief.

She could jostle him awake if she were less compassionate, but the peace radiating from him is a clear indication he's in need of rest. In the meantime, she... needs a shower. A bathroom break if her aching bladder has anything to say about it. A moment to collect their belongings from the ship, including the stash of rations in the Falcon's compartments. They both have to be starved and dehydrated by now; the dry, cotton texture in her mouth informs her of that unfortunate fact. Determined to slip away, she glances down to the band of his arm and plucks cautiously at each individual finger in a careful effort to extract herself from him. ]

[vaderstan]

[ As loathe as his sleeping form is to let go of his human nightlight, the plucking at his fingers and arms is enough to bring forth a grunting noise and he stirs gently. Loosening his grip and rolling away from the pecking fingers.

He's too deep into it to feel "alone" fortunately. For now the peaceful waters of his mind remain still. Fish nuns and trauma be damned.

He dreams of an ocean, vast and churning. He dreams of younger years and sleeping in the Falcon and in between his parents. His uncle telling stories-- and perhaps assuring him it would be alright. The galaxy could wait, he was welcome here. ]

[purpose]

[ Pins and needles assault her legs when she does, finally, wriggle out from under him and stand. That should be her first indication that they've slept throughout the night and well into the day; her second is the brightness of the sun on her skin as she slips surreptitiously outside, squinting up at an afternoon sky. It's become learned habit for her to rise with the sun, unwilling to waste daylight, just as it's instinctual to inwardly panic at having done just that.

The only difference is that she calms within the next set of breaths she takes. Ahch-To isn't Jakku — where time is a precious unit for what can be achieved in the waking hours, and shirking even one hour can make the difference between starvation and satiation. She huffs out a breath through her nose and releases her tension with it, shaking off the reflex as she marches her way back into the Falcon. It's a long trek down to the shore where the Falcon sits like a beached animal, but Ben — without any noteworthy threats on the island, he should go unharmed even in her absence, and she has the nagging sense that he already has supervision. Somehow. She can't understand how she knows that, only that she feels it in her gut.

Regardless of the reassurance that brings, she performs each task perfunctorily and quickly. She doesn't sit beneath the rinse of water for longer than necessary once she's stripped out of that disgusting uniform, and proceeds to pack as efficiently and as hastily as she can: numerous articles of clothing she's collected from the crew's quarters, a healthy supply of rations, three canteens of water. And then it's back to camp, hiking her way along that steep hill once more, to lurk just outside of the rows of huts should Ben ultimately emerge from his ten year nap. ]

[vaderstan]

[ It'll take a while. A long heaping while. Once Rey's officially gone he's still fairly deep into it. A few of the fish nuns look in to tut at him and finally it's the first chilly breeze when the sun finally makes it's course across the sky, every settling into pinks and puples, does Kylo Ren Emerge.

Looking ruffled and still tired and Where Is Rey? (Of course he knows. Force Bond)

Once he gets a lock on her there's just. An immediate course charted to her side. ]

[purpose]

[ She's getting used to having Ben as a shadow trailing her everywhere she goes, but communicating with him — that's going to take some getting used to. Now that they aren't in the midst of a war, trying to lure another to the other side, she doesn't know what to say, how to behave. It had been easier when their respective quarrels with Luke had helped them find common ground and understanding, but she isn't winning any accolades as a conversationalist at the best of times. Now, at the worst of them, she struggles to find the words he may need to hear.

Proving her social skills are absent of finesse, she jerks her chin up to nod at him in greeting as he approaches, and immediately shoves the canteen in her hands into his line of vision. They haven't had any opportunity to discuss what weighs on him, but ensuring he'll recover from his stint of drugged dehydration is something she can provide for him without making it worse. ]

Here. [ If he chooses to take it, she drops her fingers to protectively wind the blanket more tightly around her shoulders, arms pimpling with goosebumps. Now that the sun has begun to drop, so has the temperature, stealing her warmth with it. ] You'll feel better once you've flushed out your system.

[vaderstan]

[ This is it. This is the moment he finally realizes.


This is real Rey.

Helps that she's in a regular outfit and being kinda edgy. Like she was still kinda edgy before but the kinda edgy that was also handling him with thick padded gloves.

He takes the canteen and ???? Where does he sit???

Fuck it, it's cold, she looks cold, he's not really fond of cold right now (It was always chilly on the First Order ships, his room had been no different. It never bothered him much until he could feel Hux's breath along his mouth, pressing fingertips along his back, a harsh sting where his hand connects) so he'll choose a spot next to her. Have a portable darkside furnace Rey. He lifts the canteen to his mouth and takes a few satisfying gulps. And...


Jesus, this was real?

His head drops slightly as he processes his actually real hallucination and the headache he's got from a wicked combo of dehydration, crying, trauma, stress, and hunger. ]

This is your island, isn't it?

[ Of course he already knew Luke had been here. But this was what he saw in her mind the first time they'd met.



""""Met"""". ]

[purpose]

Yes. Ahch-To. It's where the Jedi first began.

[ The distance between them doesn't amount to much. It's a sliver of space, knee barely brushing her own, but Rey looks between him and that small, empty gap on the log with careful deliberation. She's waited for him to initiate contact between them on his own terms, but she's starting to become chilled to the bone, and Ben has shown no signs of discomfort in fastening himself to her like another limb. Gnawing on her lip, she makes a decisive but calculated move, and slides over with a slow, measured push toward him.

It presses their sides together, Ben's body heat seeping through the thin fabric of her top. And still she shivers, excusing her reaction as a side effect of the chilled air. ]

I knew you would be safe here. No one can find us.

[ Yet. The dark bags beneath his eyes, brought on by exhaustion, discourage any mention of the Resistance and his mother. That's a conversation for another time, and only then will she be able to gauge his reaction to the idea of his defection. ]

[vaderstan]

[ She scoots closer and it's something akin to permission. He'd only been hesitant because she'd been hesitant and he's.... loathe to examine too deeply beyond he knows that it has something to do with the assault. Either way, he's grabbing an edge of her blanket and pulling around his shoulders too so they can live in this tent together.

Another drink of water and he's... kinda leaning on her, a little. He's still tired, and several layers of needy. ]

Thank you.

[purpose]

[ Stretched out across two people (including a hulking mass of man, for that matter), it's clear that there isn't much to the blanket. It's a pathetic, frayed bundle of fabric riddled with suspicious-looking holes — blaster fire, she thinks; of course Han Solo would own blankets burned through by poorly aimed shots — too small to envelop the both of them comfortably. It's practical to inch closer and resolve that issue, Rey tells herself.

To her credit, she's pointedly avoided almost crawling into his lap, but it's debatable how much better stapling herself against him is. ]

You don't have to thank me. I already told you that, Ben.

[ She doesn't feel right accepting it, either. There should have been more that she could have done, regardless of what Ben seems to believe. ]

[vaderstan]

[ Maybe they need to get chewie to do a supply drop. this blanket is a sin. and fortunately due to his exhaustion he didn't see that want to crawl into his lap because otherwise he probably woulda


Just pulled her there.

Though their legs and arms are practically overlapping already. Just crawl on top of the galaxywide rey. save us muns the trouble of shouting at u ]

I'm still grateful.

[ Also still wants to kiss you and wavering on that want rn.



Okay Luke is definitely screaming at them both rn. ]

[purpose]

[ No wonder Luke Skywalker didn't want to take on teaching another youth. His threshold for witnessing the usual song and dance must be at his all-time lowest after dealing with hormonal teenagers and Han's approach to courting Leia.

For a long, drawn-out moment, she's quiet. It's a comfortable silence as opposed to the lonely one she's known for so long, but her intent studying of his expression — like there's an answer as to how she should respond there — may or may not prove unnerving. ]

I know, [ she says, simply. Undertones of softness bleed through its edges if he cares to listen attentively. His appreciation is unnecessary, but she doesn't want to mislead him into thinking it means nothing to her. It means everything to her, but she doesn't want him to mistakenly think he's somehow indebted to her. He isn't. Far from it, in fact. ] You can thank me by finishing that.

[ She tips her head to the side, gesturing to the half-full canteen. ]

[vaderstan]

[ A momentary expression of a near grin-- he can accept that for the moment, glancing to her before he takes a moment to tip the rest of the contents of the canteen into his mouth. It's cool and stings at his throat but he's feeling a little more alert to it.

A few caretakers pass by them and give them some super pointed looks before going off to clean their personal smut hut and Light a damn fire this time, now that the loud one who breaks their shit is back.

This is not to mention the fact that Luke Skywalker BURNED DOWN THEIR TREE AND THEY LOST ALL THE DAMN BOOKS. UGH. PEOPLE. THE WORST SPECIES.

But Kylo's finished off the rest of his water and hands it off to Rey and- he's feeling a bit better if not. Extremely surreal about this moment, its such a strong whiplash that part of his brain is still anxious about needing to return to the First Order because of the schedule of events he has held in his head and body's clock. There was a meeting that was supposed to be happening now, a supply drop in a few days-- he still had drills to run through and... now none of that mattered and he's wrestling with it. ]

I don't mind if you touch me.

[ He'll go with that instead. The First Order is an even more fraught subject than usual right now. He's hoping she'll understand that he's struggling with it.

He's starting to piece together that she's afraid of hurting him and-- Honestly even if she was literally hurting him he never minds her touch. ]

[purpose]

[ It isn't quite a smile, more of an approximation of a grin than anything else, but it's as close to one as she could ever hope to receive. She likes it, Rey decides; his eyes crinkle and his mouth softens, erasing the harsh edges of his trademark glower. He looks less severe — younger, like years of expectation have been removed.

Above all else, it feels private, something sacred and reserved for her. Her lips quirk, halfway to unconsciously mirroring him, when they suddenly droop and fall at his declaration. Baffled, she shoots him a questioning look as she caps the canteen and sets it aside. ]

I am touching you.

[ Isn't she? ?? She's not an expert on divvying out touch, let alone physical affection, but she had assumed their current closeness qualified. ]

[vaderstan]

[ He's leaning a bit closer to her now and dear god the cling has started. The Super Cling has started. ]

Yesterday-- you thought I wouldn't want to.

[ And honestly right now she could ride him like Yoda and he wouldn't mind. ]

[purpose]

[ In this episode of Super Cling: "Rey adopted a stray cat".

Let it never be said that he isn't proactive in wheedling close to her. She... doesn't know what to do with that. She doesn't know what to do with any of it, really, like the feral desert child she is. Touch on Jakku had so frequently preceded an all out brawl, but Ben's is — something else entirely. Enthusiastic, and without ulterior, to contradict what she thought had been a hazy, sleep-deprived mistake of his.

Evidently, he'd meant to curl around her on the floor, despite having a perfectly good cot inches away. ]

You were hurt.

[ And broken, drugged, understandably jumpy. It's clear now that it hadn't crossed her mind that he may have wanted contact of some sort. ]

You want me to touch you. Is that what you're saying?

[ Yes, Rey, that's precisely what he's saying. ]

[vaderstan]

[ Fortunately for the both of them, he's lacking a big dose of shame about wanting to be close to her. It helps that they are on a island by themselves with fish nuns, because even he's not sure how he'd feel in a place with people around.

Like on one hand, maybe he'd be fine but-- he's still not feeling great and there's no good way to explain "hey so Kylo Ren defected because General Hux raped him so please go easy on him for a while?? Okay??? PLease????" Not a conversation that would end well. ]

Yes. [ Said quietly and he just glances over to her and................



Trying to keep his eyes focused on hers and not her lips. ] Is that a problem?

[ Is he too dirty, broken, evil, gross otherwise rn? He will probably cry if you say yes Rey but he'd get over it---

No he wouldn't but no pressure. ]

[purpose]

No.

[ She says, swift and steady to prevent any thoughts to the contrary from poisoning him. True to her word, there isn't any reluctance to be found in that affirmation. No, it isn't a problem, and she hadn't meant to give him the impression that she would take issue with it. ]

No, it isn't. [ Rey repeats, as if echoing herself will properly convey that steely conviction. ] I'm just not used to it. That's all.

[ Whatever she means by it. The prospect of someone craving her touch, maybe, or the process itself. ]

[vaderstan]

Me either.

[ A soft murmur and-- as lame as this conversation is, he's happy for it right now. Setting down empty canteen and wrapping arms around her and being v v horatio kinda happy. by god helpme horatio is crushin my arm. SITS UP TO AVOID HORATIO

Anyway, not lying. Kylo wraps his arms around her even under this dumb sparse blanket and sets his chin on her shoulder and-- maybe it's dumb but he feels protected like this. The smell of her hair, the freckles on her cheeks and shoulders and the rhythm of her breath. It grounds him in this moment.

He's so clueless about physical contact but right now this puts him more at ease to be locked on to someone physical and real. ]

[purpose]

[ Oh. Okay, then.

The sudden embrace doesn't catch her off-guard — his question had been warning of what was to come, in that regard — but there's the matter of where to place her limbs. In the end, she opts for a different approach and freezes, as though terrified a minor shift in her musculature will unseat him where he's lounging against her.

Eventually, her arm unwinds itself from his waist to drop into his hair, swiping it away from where it persistently tickles her nose when she tilts her head to the side. That — that proves to be a poor idea for the racing thoughts it inspires, and Rey has to hold her breath when she notices their nearness. She may have no firsthand account of kissing, but he's unmistakably close enough that she could press forward and feel the ghost of his breath. That's dangerous for her self-control and her surplus of sexual confusion, and so she abruptly returns to looking straight ahead at the dispersing group of caretakers waddling back to their village. ]

Are you alright?

[ Of course he isn't, idiot, her voice chimes in, but it's too late to recall the question. Nevertheless, she's extended the invitation if he wants to unburden himself. If not, she won't make another allusion to it. ]